The Director of Education reveals the 10 knives hidden in parents’ possessions that can harm their children. The knives are deadly

Whether the flowers bloom well or poorly depends on the quality of the roots. What a child will grow into in the future depends on the education of his parents. Wei Shusheng, a famous contemporary education reformer and former director of the Panjin City Education Bureau, once mentioned in his speech: Classic book recommendation: The main content of Love’s Education pdf + audio “Chinese parents hide ten knives on their bodies, and parents often use them without knowing it. These ten knives will damage the child\’s natural and innocent character step by step.\” The wrong way to educate children will only destroy the child with your own hands in the end. The first cut: cut off democracy and sow the seeds of autocracy. \”I am doing this for your own good\” is one of the most common mantras of parents. It seems full of love, but behind it lies tyranny and control that children cannot resist. Parents decide what their children want to do; they don\’t care what their children think. It can be as small as daily necessities, food, housing, and transportation, or as big as life plans related to future development. Parents\’ domineering and controlling behavior only results in children\’s apparent obedience, but it stifles children\’s opportunities to express themselves. Fear does not mean conviction, and oral expression does not mean heartfelt conviction. A child is an independent individual, not an appendage of his parents. He has his own growth potential. Only by squatting down and listening to his voice, respecting his thoughts and opinions, and replacing forcefulness and tyranny with understanding and acceptance can we truly get into the child\’s heart. Only a democratic family can raise free, happy, and independent children. The second cut: cut off love and sow the seeds of selfishness. In life, when they see someone in need of help, parents quickly take their children away to avoid \”getting into trouble.\” When they hear that someone who has done good deeds is being blackmailed, parents tell their children, \”Look, This is the consequence of being troublesome\”; knowing that the child acted like a little Lei Feng and did good people and good deeds, the parents did not say a word of encouragement and blamed him for \”doing all these things\”. It is the parents who have cut off the children\’s kindness time and time again, cut off the children\’s love with a knife, and deprived the children of the ability to love step by step. I heard this story: A little boy wanted to give up his seat to an old man on a bus, but his mother stopped him with her eyes. When he grew up, someone fainted on the bus. The boy was indifferent until he got off the bus and realized that the person was his mother. As Peking University professor Qian Liqun said: \”We are cultivating a group of refined egoists.\” Children without kindness and compassion in their hearts will only be selfish, indifferent and ungrateful when they grow up. Only children with love in their hearts can have a bright life. When raising children, educate yourself first. If parents are kind-hearted and courteous to others, only then can children be kind-hearted and considerate of others. The third cut: cut off honesty and sow the seeds of lying. In life, we can always see scenes like this: I don’t want to go to work, so my parents use the excuse of saying they are sick to deceive their boss; they tell the teacher that they have been playing games at home all day. , I have been accompanying my children to do their homework. Parents have no qualms about lying in front of their children, but at the same time they demand honesty from their children. As a result, the child will only question: \”Why can parents lie and deceive, but I can\’t?\” Every time a parent tells a lie, the child will have one more misunderstanding and doubt about \”honesty\”. Unknowingly, the children also lowered their bottom line of integrity and fell into the trap of breach of trust. When a child loses his honesty, he destroys his own character and character.The pattern of life. As a parent, don’t easily promise your children something you can’t do. Do what you say you’ve said and keep your word. Use role models to be your children\’s best inspirers and guide them to do the right things. The fourth knife: cutting off risks and planting the seeds of mediocrity. Nanjing primary and secondary schools have tried to promote touch rugby, which has almost no physical collisions. Parents opposed it on the grounds that rugby is very violent and can easily injure children. Wei Shusheng once said: \”Children who are more than ten years old still dare not go to the doorway to buy a bottle of soy sauce alone because it is dangerous on the street; they cannot peel apples by themselves because knives are dangerous; twenty-year-old children I don’t know how to cook with gas, because gas is dangerous. Danger exists everywhere, and hiding can’t solve the problem.” Parents’ excessive worries about their children’s growth not only fail to protect them, but also make them timid and timid. A little afraid of things. Sun Yunxiao, a famous child education expert, said: \”If you don\’t let your children take risks today, there will be greater dangers tomorrow.\” Just like a young butterfly, it needs to rely on its own strength to struggle out of its cocoon. The parents\’ reluctance was like a pair of scissors, which cut open the cocoon. The young butterfly emerged from the cocoon smoothly, but it lost the power to fly. Without adventure in children\’s lives, they lose the possibility of transcending mediocrity. Children\’s growth requires pain and hardship. Love your child, protect him, but don\’t restrict him. The fifth knife: Cut off discipline and sow the seeds of illegality. Many parents always feel that their children are still young and it doesn’t matter whether they are willful or unrestrained. But one thing has been overlooked: a thousand-mile embankment collapses in an ant nest. If children are not taught to distinguish right from wrong and what to do and what not to do from an early age, it will be difficult for the children to form a sense of rules. When crossing the road, the light is red and you can\’t go. When you see there are no cars on the left and right, you take your children to cross. In public places, children kick public objects and think it\’s okay. They use an \”indifferent attitude\” to condone the children\’s troubles. Someone comes to remind them to educate them. Discriminate and defend shortcomings and blame others for meddling… As a result, the children will only become more willful, arrogant and lawless. At the age when rules should be established, only by giving correct examples and guidance to children, and not being soft-hearted or indulgent, can we raise a child who has a bottom line and abides by the rules. The Sixth Knife: Cut off kindness and sow the seeds of evil deeds. Shusheng Wei once pointed out that Chinese parents are sowing the seeds of evil deeds in their children little by little. When a child wants to donate money to a weak and sick classmate who cannot afford tuition, we ask him: \”Is it required by the school? What is the minimum donation amount stipulated by the school?\” There are a few green onions missing when cooking at home, so we don\’t look for them. The neighbor borrowed it, but asked the child to secretly go to the corridor to \”get\” a few; when we went out to buy something, the cashier gave us extra change, and we secretly rejoiced and took the child away: \”Fortunately, we ran fast, we earned 10 yuan more.\” How many innocent children are being led astray by their parents\’ words and deeds. Parents are greedy for cheap and have bad conduct. Children see it in their eyes and remember it in their hearts, and gradually internalize it into their own behavioral habits. He may take a fancy to other people\’s things and then have evil thoughts and find ways to keep them as his own; he may also have no regrets after hurting others, and may even feel proud. Only when adults \”behave upright\” can children \”sit upright\”. Make character education the first education and cultivate children\’s moral consciousness so that children can stay on track.s future. The Seventh Knife: Cutting off nature and sowing the seeds of destruction. It is often seen that some parents and children like to pick things randomly when they go to the park, and they like to tease animals when they go to the zoo. When the children are happy, what they leave to others is the ignorance and ugliness of their behavior. Not long ago, a 12-year-old girl cruelly used a door to kill a newborn kitten in a pet shop. The cold-blooded method was shocking. Four years ago, a Ningbo tourist broke into the restricted area of ​​the zoo to tease a tiger, but was bitten alive by the tiger on the spot. Those who do not respect nature and life will sooner or later be counterattacked. Tell your children that human life and death are closely related to nature. In front of life, no one has the right to trample or bully. If you want to coexist with nature, the best way is to love it and respect it. Let your children know the magic and loveliness of all things in the world, and tell them the uniqueness of life, so that they can cherish and love life. The eighth knife: Cut off innovation and plant the seeds of machinery. Every parent hopes that their children will become dragons and phoenixes. They firmly believe that \”achievement is everything\”, and they push their children onto a single-plank bridge that only depends on scores. Children\’s questions have nothing to do with learning, so simply ignore them; children\’s wild imaginations delay learning time and suppress them desperately; anything children like, as long as it does not help improve grades, there is no room for them to be used. How many geniuses are inadvertently and ruthlessly killed by their parents. They originally had unlimited imagination and strong thirst for knowledge, but they were completely eliminated in the face of scores. After all, children can only learn the routines step by step like others, becoming a \”learning machine\” that only knows how to take exams. The purpose of education is to help children face the future. And his future is related to innovation. Encourage children to ask more questions and protect their curiosity; allow them to \”think in a different brain\” to stimulate their thinking potential; develop children\’s brain holes and cultivate imagination. Only by giving children the freedom to follow their interests can their future have unlimited space. The ninth knife: Cut off appreciation and plant the seeds of jealousy. A child on Zhihu said: \”I am an only child, but my parents have another child. He is \’other people\’s child.\’\” Since the first grade of elementary school, parents have There are reminders and encouragement in the ears, so and so knows a hundred ancient poems, and so and so knows advanced arithmetic. The other children were the benchmark, and he could only keep chasing, but he couldn\’t catch up. Because if one \”other person\’s child\” is gone, there will be another one. The comparison between his parents is his denial, blow and dislike. He cannot feel the excellence of others, cannot truly appreciate others, and only feels full of humiliation and jealousy. There is a saying in psychology: \”If your child is jealous, it is because you often compare him with others.\” What the child longs for is affirmation and encouragement, appreciate his shining side, and treat every moment of his life with a positive attitude. Progress and success all at once. Only by being your child\’s \”appraiser\” can you make your child a thousand-mile horse. The tenth knife: cut off competition and sow the seeds of hatred. A few years ago, there was an advertising slogan that was particularly popular: \”If you come, we will train your children; if you don\’t come, we will train your children\’s competitors.\” How many parents are following this, I am afraid that my children will fall behind and be eliminated by the general environment. Parents\’ anxiety naturally affects their children, making themI think that in competition there are only opponents and no friends. When others do well in exams, he becomes unbalanced, tampering with other people\’s aspirations, and ruining other people\’s lives; when others are praised more, he thinks about how to punish others, and his mind is full of conspiracies. A wrong sense of competition causes children to care too much about winning and losing. They become extremely complacent when they win, and refuse to admit when they lose, leaving them devastated. Competition is a kind of competition, rather than intensifying hatred so that children are always at odds with each other and constantly making enemies. As a parent, you should be your child’s ferryman and your child’s biggest supporter. Guide children to calm down in competition, value the process more than the results, and let them learn to applaud others. A cheerful personality and an open mind are the keys for children to withstand the storms and setbacks of life. As a parent, you should always ask yourself whether you have unknowingly exposed these ten knives and hurt your children. Yu Minhong once said: \”Cultivating a child is like planting a tree. Only by nourishing it at the roots and then irrigating it with the nutrients of moral character can the child grow into lush branches and leaves, closer to the sun.\” Put away the knife in his hand, Pay attention to the growth of the child\’s foundation and use the correct method to guide him to become an adult. Only in this way can we truly protect his life, achieve his future, and make him a useful person. The safety education content of the first lesson of school, Lebi Youyou\’s complete collection of popular science knowledge, all 52 episodes, is actually permeated in every aspect of life, and good companionship is crucial.