Some time ago, Pixar\’s latest Chinese-style animated short film \”Bao Baobao\” became popular. It was less than 8 minutes long and had no lines, but it moved many netizens to tears. The short film tells a tender story between an \”empty nest mother\” and her baby bun. Through exaggerated cartoon characters, it depicts the deep and fragile emotions between mother and child: separation tears the mother apart, while love binds the child. The most impressive scene is that the mother blocked the door and swallowed Bao Baobao in one gulp to prevent Bao Baobao and her blond girlfriend from leaving home… \”I love you enough to eat you\”, which is full of the mother\’s feelings in the face of The loneliness and sadness when children grow up and leave home to start their own business. However, for children, this love seems too heavy. A healthy and good parent-child relationship should be measured and distanced, close but not close, filial but not submissive, seemingly casual but caring about each other, independent but together, I understand you. Even though it is not easy, you also fulfill my freedom and willfulness. Please don\’t do it for my own good but be kind to me. Do you remember the doctor from Zhejiang University who committed suicide by jumping into the river not long ago? At the age of 26, he was considered the \”proud son of the emperor\” in the eyes of others, but no one knew that he was not living a happy life. His greatest wish is to be himself, and even said to his mother, \”I only wish to be reincarnated as your child in my next life, and I don\’t want to hurt you again.\” This tragedy is just a microcosm of the failed family education in today\’s society. . Most parents like children who are sensible and obedient, who have good grades, love to read, and who move forward along the established track. In the eyes of parents, the most ideal life is: to be obedient as a child, not crying or making trouble; to have good grades after school, to get into a good university and a good major; after graduation, to be a civil servant, to be a teacher, and to have an \”iron rice bowl\”; to work two In later years, they will fall in love, get married and have children… What\’s more, they will impose their own life goals on their children and urge them to complete their unfinished dreams. But parents seem to have forgotten to ask whether their children want such a life, and they have also forgotten that if the children do not know how to get along with the world, all \”eugenic education\” will be in vain. In the book \”Silent Confessions\”, the girl named Lydia dies at the beginning of the book. She was beautiful and lovely, had excellent grades, and was deeply loved by her parents. However, in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep, she walked step by step toward the lake, and finally fell into the water and died. For a long time after Lydia\’s death, her parents were puzzled and thought their baby girl had been murdered. But they never realized that it was they who personally used the fateful burden to create a steel-like cage, trapping their daughter, and forcing her to breathe: the mother failed to become a doctor, so she thought that Lidya had great potential. With biological talent, she will definitely enter Harvard and become the best female doctor; her father can never find a sense of social recognition in his life, so he hopes that Lydia will become a social star in the school and become his pride… However, for his daughter, his heart is constantly changing. Parents are always belatedly aware of the pain and struggle they face, mistaking silent resistance for being meek and obedient, taking being out of touch and being excluded as a good opportunity to study quietly, and taking mistakes in exams as not working hard enough… Such parents, probably everywhere: they are used to tightly binding their children with blood ties, using demands to express love, and using disappointment to exert pressure. They will only show a smile without hesitation when their children get excellent report cards. So when children wake up to consciousness, most of them will be confused and at a loss. In the face of sudden unemployment, broken love, setbacks in interpersonal relationships and other serious losses, they are severely hit, unable to recover, and even embark on a path of no return. How many parents, under the banner of \”I am doing this for your own good\”, ignore their children\’s feelings and interfere with their children\’s right to make free choices. As everyone knows, from the perspective of children, what they expect is \”be good to me\” centered on \”me\”, equal psychological communication and appropriate help, rather than \”be good for me\” centered on \”you\” \”. Please don\’t live for me but live for yourself. In the program \”My Boy\”, actor Zhu Yuchen\’s mother was criticized by netizens for her airtight control and suffocating love for her son, \”You rely on your strength.\” Let your son be single.\” She squeezes two bottles of juice for her son every day, and must take the empty bottles home at night to prove that he has finished drinking. She does not let her son cook or eat outside. She follows her son around the set, and she is where her son is. She doesn’t let her son take part in costume dramas and martial arts dramas because she doesn’t want to see her son being beaten; she understands every relationship her son has and will interfere with it; she not only reads her son’s Weibo posts, monitors his every word and deed in an all-round way, but also urges her to Threat: \”If you don\’t write, I will copy your blog!\” Zhu Yuchen lived like this for 39 years. He thought about resisting and also had a big argument with his mother: \”You will kill me if you do this!\” But every time All ended in failure. But his mother doesn\’t think she is controlling her child, she just loves her son so much that everything is centered on her son. Even she herself said: You see, how sad it will be when a mother lives entirely for her children. She not only binds her children, but also loses herself. What is even sadder is that when a mother works hard for the family, devotes all her efforts, and even abandons her own dreams, in the end not only will she not get the gratitude of her children, but she may also be disliked by her children. In the article \”My Mom is a Useless Middle-aged Woman\” that once hit the circle of friends, a ten-year-old child wrote in immature handwriting: My mother doesn\’t go to work and likes to play cards and watch movies. It\’s a stupid TV show. I\’m scolding it while watching it, and sometimes I cry too. She couldn\’t do anything well, the food she cooked was terrible, the house was a mess, and everything was unclean. She obviously can\’t do anything well, but she doesn\’t play all day long, and she still complains about being tired every day, saying it\’s all because of me, and she\’s almost exhausted. Among the classmates I play with, Xiaoqing’s mother can drive, but she can’t, Xiaolin’s mother can play table tennis with Xiaolin, but she can’t, Xiaoyu’s mother can draw, and Yaoyao’s mother can make beautiful clothes. Looks good. I\’m so jealous, but she can\’t do anything. I think my mother is a useless middle-aged woman. Seeing this, every mother must be very sad, right? Who wants to be what children call a \”useless middle-aged woman\”? Therefore, the more a woman becomes a mother, the more she must live a wonderful life. Go to the place that is in your heart and be yourselfDo what you like, pursue your dreams, and realize your own value! Only when a mother walks in front with her head held high and lives her life with high morale can she become a role model in the heart of her child and allow him to follow behind with peace of mind, strive to move forward and become a better person! The best love for parents is filial piety but not obedience. Of course, we must admit that parents’ love for their children is based on instinct. Although the control of proportion is not ideal and the process is not satisfactory, this does not hinder their selflessness and greatness. After all, just like Lidshan\’s father said in the Korean drama \”Reply 1988\”, they are also parents for the first time. Therefore, cultivating good family relationships is a topic that both parents and children need to learn together. As a child, the best response to your parents is to be filial but not obedient. The prerequisite for a happy marriage is to be filial but not disobedient. The romantic love story of Guo Xiaodong and Cheng Lisha has always been talked about by netizens. Behind their loving love, there was actually a small episode. Cheng Lisa posted this on Weibo: People who eat melons expressed their envy because she has a sensible mother-in-law. Yes, luckily she has a sensible mother-in-law. Otherwise, just imagine how much trouble a \”foolishly filial\” husband like Guo Xiaodong would bring to the marriage, saying, \”My mother is always right, and even if she is wrong, you are right, so you have to keep my mother.\” disaster? A normal family relationship ranking should be: the relationship between husband and wife comes first, the relationship between parents and children comes second, and the relationship with parents comes third. However, after getting married and starting a family, many people are deeply influenced by the idea of foolish filial piety, pushing what should be a happy marriage into a precarious situation, putting themselves in an unkind and disregarding their loved ones… And when an adult treats his parents, he must not only Filial piety, but also management. Be an independent adult, get along with your parents from an equal perspective, respect their suggestions, and express your own attitudes. Think about it, among the children around us who have obeyed their parents since childhood, how many have grown up to be \”giant babies\” with no independent opinions, and how many have become men who only listen to their mothers but have wronged their wives? And those children who have been independent since childhood and are conscientious and reliable in their work can often effectively avoid most interference and opposition through communication and wisdom in Tai Chi contests with their parents. Being filial but not obedient is the best form of filial piety. I hope we can respect each other and be independent of each other. There is a saying circulating on the Internet: \”I admire a kind of parents who provide strong intimacy to their children when they are young, and learn to withdraw appropriately when their children grow up. Care and separation are all parents\’ care for their children. It is a task that must be completed. Being a parent is a journey of mind and wisdom.\” This is destined to be a \”little separation\” that every parent needs to learn to accept, and it is also destined to be a life that every child has to face. challenge. You are a parent for the first time, and I am a child for the first time. We will have frictions and gaps, we will have disagreements, we will forget to consider each other, and there will be brief separations. It doesn\’t matter. Let\’s work together to create the best parent-child relationship and continue to improve. , work slowly. The best parent-child relationship should be mutual respect and independence, just like the poem Du Jiang sent to Uh-huh in \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”: You are not mehope, no, you are your own hope. My unrealized dreams are still mine. It has nothing to do with you, so let them have nothing to do with you. You might as well have a brand new dream, and in that dream, I don’t have to be there. But I love you, my child, I love you, that\’s all. The best parent-child relationship should be like what Long Yingtai wrote in \”Watching Off\”: \”I slowly and slowly learned that the so-called father-daughter mother-son relationship only means the fate between you and him. In this life, you have been watching his back fade away. You stand at this end of the path and watch him gradually disappear at the corner of the path. Moreover, he silently tells you with his back: No need to chase.\” The best. The parent-child relationship is one of filial piety but not disobedience. You give me just the right amount of love, effortless dedication, and graceful exit, and I repay you with equal gratitude and respect.
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- The eight-minute full video of Baobao has no lines, but it hits the pain point of Chinese maternal love.