The first half of my life: Parents’ marriage determines the fate of their children

Recently, the TV series \”My First Half of Life\” is being aired on major media platforms. Discussions triggered by this TV series are also endless. Some people see the marriage, and some see the workplace. But Beaver Mom, as a mother audience, naturally pays attention to The two children in the play come from different families and have very different personalities. The two children, Ping\’er and Jiaqing, come from three families. Although they have different faces and temperaments, due to family reasons, they were passively insulated from their carefree childhood and tasted the bitterness of life early. Swiss psychologist Jung once said that character determines destiny, and Chinese proverbs also like to say that you know your age at the age of three. Although we only see the children\’s childhood in the TV series, we can more or less predict the future growth of these two children. The formation of children\’s personalities is inseparable from family education. Children from unhappy marriage families each have their own misfortunes. . The heroine Luo Zijun was originally a wife who had no worries about food and clothing and relied on men to support her. I thought my life would be smooth sailing and peaceful till I grow old, but unexpectedly, a divorced mistress with a baby suddenly appears and steals her husband away, forcing me to re-enter society to support myself. Zijun\’s journey to this point is also inseparable from her family education. The reason why she is willing to be a housewife after graduating from a prestigious university is because of the logic that Luo\’s mother has always emphasized: It is natural for women to rely on men, and it is natural for men to rely on women to lose face. Therefore, after Luo Zijun got married, he always relied on men to support himself and could not live without men. Luo\’s mother said: What do you do with a man? Let him raise you. Therefore, receiving a good education and dressing up well did not make Luo Zijun learn to love herself well and be independent and self-reliant, but made her mistakenly believe that youthful appearance is the capital to maintain a marriage. After discovering that her husband had cheated on her, her mother taught her to just tolerate it. Some people say that a child’s character is a copy of his parents. What’s even more tragic is that a child’s marriage is sometimes a duplicate of his parents’ marriage. One netizen commented, “My mother treats me very badly. I don’t have a good mother in my life.” Role model, tell me how to love children, so it is difficult for me to be a good mother, because when I see my child doing something wrong and want to comfort her, my first reaction is to blame her, because my mother is like this made. Next, Mother Beaver will take you to see these two children who, although they have very different personalities, were hurt by their parents’ marriage. Ping\’er: Can you please stay together? Ping\’er is the child of Luo Zijun and Chen Jun. He has just entered the first grade of elementary school. Compared with Jiaqing, a child of the same age whose parents divorced earlier, Ping\’er\’s personality is obviously much brighter and more cheerful, which is closely related to the peaceful and stable marriage of Ping\’er\’s parents. Before the marriage of Luo Zijun and Chen Junsheng suddenly changed, Ping\’er had always been a child living in a honeypot. Until a sudden family change turned his life upside down, like falling from heaven to hell. Ping\’er thought in her heart: Yesterday I slept in my room, and my father patiently helped me with my homework. My mother put on a facial mask and looked at me tenderly. Today, my home has become the home of other children. When it rains, my father I held an umbrella for other children, but my mother held me and stood in the rain leaving the home that belonged to me. Your parents\’ divorce is your own business.However, in this process, if the relationship between two or even multiple families is not properly handled, the children will always be hurt the most. The father\’s cheating can easily leave a bad impression in the children\’s minds and sow the seeds of rebellion and conflict. On the other hand, it also makes the children full of distrust in marriage. The once lively and cheerful child became timid and insecure after his parents divorced. The phrase \”Mom, Dad, can you please stay apart\” is the cry in this child\’s heart. Jiaqing: Mom, I listen to you. In this entanglement of adult love and hate, there is a child who is like drifting duckweed or quicksand in heavy rain. He is silently standing aside and carefully observing everyone around him. . He is Ling Ling\’s 7-year-old son, Jiaqing. Adults always use children as weights for their grudges and grudges, and Jiaqing is one of the victims. He is wise beyond his years and is a considerate supporter of his mother. After his parents divorced, he obediently said, \”I want to live with my mother.\” After entering the reorganized family, he never made any requests. Unlike Ping\’er, he can coquettishly ask his mother to replace the water heater, enjoy the love of his elders, and openly use his status as a \”child\” to gain attention. Because in his first family, he never had the opportunity to be \”willful\”. Although the child\’s father never appeared on TV, it can be inferred from Ling Lin\’s words that the marriage was full of quarrels and indifference. Children who grow up with their parents quarreling have a low sense of self-worth and often feel guilty. Because their understanding of the world at a young age is extremely limited, they often interpret their parents’ discord and fighting as being caused by themselves. not good enough. Children who cry are given sweets, but Jiaqing chooses to take a detour and wait quietly for her mother\’s praise. The original family was broken up, so he was obsessed with trying to please his mother; while he was under the roof, he obediently tried to please his new family members. No child is born sensible. It is not a good thing to grow up overnight at an age that should be lawless. After all, only children who receive a lot of love are qualified to act recklessly. Ping\’er and Jiaqing, two children from different families, were supposed to have their own beautiful lives. However, due to their parents\’ failed marriage, the family structure may have changed dramatically, or the atmosphere of tension may have continued to pervade. As young children, their sense of security, which is essential for healthy growth, was brutally deprived of them. They had no choice but to sacrifice their childhood joy and happiness, becoming victims of their parents\’ failed marriages. However, many people still have concerns if children are involved. So the question is, what should we do after divorce to minimize the harm to our children? Beaver Mom gives you the following suggestions: 1. Don’t argue in front of your children. In any case, don’t let your children know too much of your anger and hatred. This can prevent your children from developing anxiety, distrust of others, low self-esteem, and loss. 2. Don’t neglect your children for your trivial matters, only be busy with your own affairs, only indulge in your own private affairs and ignore the needs of your children. This will make the child feel low self-esteem, lonely and even autistic! 3. Don’t lose your temper with your children just to vent your inner frustration.They will feel aggrieved, angry, and unfair, which will stimulate their rebellious personality and form an antisocial personality. 4. Don’t accuse each other of each other’s shortcomings or even unrealistically insult each other’s character. Drag the children into a war between adults. In that case, the children will feel that the world is so cruel, and then they will have doubts and pessimism about the meaning of life. , lost, helpless, unable to face life. 5. When divorcing, do not educate your children individually and ask whether they want to live with their father or their mother, as this will make them make a painful decision. 6. It is very important not to let children participate in your wars. These unpleasant experiences will leave everlasting scars in their hearts and cause them more or less psychological problems as adults. 7. After divorce, the custodial parent should not punish the other party by not allowing the child to visit the non-custodial parent. This difficult task will make the child taste the bitterness of life prematurely, make the child feel overwhelmed by difficult choices, and form a cowardly, fearful, and submissive character. . 8. Don’t be overly fond of your children because of your divorce and out of guilt for your children. Your children will learn to be squeamish, domineering, arrogant, and do not know how to behave. I hope that every family can let children feel not only the love of their parents, but also the ability to love themselves and others.