The full version of Nezha: The Devil Boy Comes into the World: Why can’t an imperfect child live to be his own hero?

\”Mom, little Nezha is so cute. Why doesn\’t everyone like him?\” This is the question my daughter asked me when I took her to watch the animated movie \”Nezha: The Devil Boy Comes into the World\” today. Nezha in the story was supposed to be the reincarnation of the Lingzhu, but accidentally became the reincarnation of the Magic Pill. It is rumored that Magic Pill will cause harm to the world. Out of prejudice against Magic Pill, the people in Chentangguan are afraid of Nezha, treat him as a monster, and do not allow their children to play with him. Faced with everyone\’s prejudice, Nezha was angry but helpless. The sentence \”I am a little monster, carefree and at ease, kill people without batting an eyelid, eat people without adding salt\”, seems to be a self-deprecating statement, but it makes people feel very distressed. He worked very hard to learn skills and wanted to help others, slay demons, and change people\’s perceptions of him. But what he didn\’t expect was that even if he rescued a girl from the water demon, the villagers would suspect that he was robbing the child, and even say bad things to him. He used force to resist, trying to silence those who didn\’t like him, but it only deepened everyone\’s impression of him as a devil boy. He locked himself in the room, refused to eat or drink, and looked lonely and confused, which made every movie viewer feel distressed. Seeing Nezha like this and hearing my daughter\’s question, I suddenly realized how important it is to let the child know that there will always be people who don\’t like her in the world. There is no perfect child in the world. I remember when my daughter sang in front of relatives and friends for the first time, she sang intermittently because of nervousness. Many people encouraged her, but there were always one or two people who compared her with other children: \”This song My niece can sing the song a long time ago.\” \”It\’s not okay to sing like this. In the future, the kindergarten performances will be laughed at by other children!\” My daughter was sad about this for a long time. She practiced singing that song for many days after that, until she After singing the song completely, he asked me: \”Mom, I didn\’t forget the words. Maybe my aunt will like me this time?\” The hoarse voice, careful words, and eyes full of expectation still make me feel distressed to this day. Some parents may feel gratified to see their children working so hard, but in fact I am not only unhappy but also worried because I am worried that my daughter will grow up to be a pleaser. The famous psychologist Horney described the people-pleasing personality in \”The Conflict in Our Hearts\” like this: \”The people-pleasing personality is also called the obedient personality. When they were children, due to the influence of their living environment, they worried about being abandoned, so they tried their best to suppress themselves. , please your parents. When you grow up, you will always greet others with a smile and act based on their eyes.\” Children are innocent and cute, but they also have their own needs. From the perspective of Maslow\’s hierarchy of needs theory, children have a relatively high desire for emotion and self-actualization as they grow. Just like Nezha, when people called him a monster, he shouted to everyone, \”Then I will be a monster for you to see\” in an attempt to seek attention and comfort. However, when a child becomes observant and cares about other people\’s evaluations, more attention needs to be paid, otherwise the child is likely to habitually aggrieve himself and strive to cater to other people\’s likes and dislikes. No parent in the world is willing to let their children wrong themselves for the sake of others. We all know that the speaker Nick Vujicic is very successful. He is a famous speaker in Australia. He has his own company, a beautiful wife, andLovely son. But Nick has been without limbs since he was a child. He wrote in his book \”Life Without Limits\”: \”You and I really can\’t control what happens, but we can control how we respond.\” Due to his natural physical defects, many classmates would laugh at and bully him. He began to have low self-esteem and even tried to drown himself in the bathtub three times when he was 10 years old. Despite this, Nick\’s parents did not give up on him. Instead, they always encouraged him, loved him, and told him: \”Everyone is an independent individual. You must believe in yourself.\” Nick became strong and optimistic under the care and correct guidance of his parents. , constantly challenging himself, and eventually becoming a speaker who inspires countless people. In this difficult process, he concluded: \”If you don\’t accept yourself, it will not only lead to self-destruction, but also isolation.\” Every child desires to be noticed and liked, but the cruel thing is that no matter how good the child is, he will not be able to accept it. recognized by everyone. No one can be perfect enough to meet everyone’s standards. Therefore, it is not scary if a child is not loved by others. The key is to let the child know how to love himself. Because only by loving yourself first can others love you. It is normal for children not to be recognized. In the second season of the variety show \”Incredible Mom\”, Cai Shaofen\’s youngest daughter Baozi was unhappy because other children liked to play with her sister. She said aggrievedly: \”Many people don\’t like to sit with me and want to play with my sister.\” Faced with her daughter\’s loss, Cai Shaofen\’s response was a textbook answer. Although she thinks her daughter is cute, she feels it is normal that Baozi is not liked by other children. Cai Shaofen first listened patiently to her daughter\’s complaints and understood how it felt to accept her child. Then she recognized her daughter and told her that she was cute, building up her child\’s self-confidence. The most important thing is that after that, she told her child the truth. She said: \”But sometimes, some people really have different expressions.\” Cai Shaofen did not praise her daughter excessively or say that others have poor vision, but based on reality Give your child the right advice on the situation. She suggested that her daughter smile more, take the initiative, and be herself instead of always worrying about why others don\’t like me. Under the guidance of her mother, Baozi faced rejection in her subsequent task of inviting other children to a party, but she faced it bravely. After continuous efforts, he was finally accepted by other children and completed his task. When it comes to children, many parents have a very interesting thing in common. That is, in the eyes of many parents, their own children are the cutest. We can say that children are not good, but others cannot. In fact, it is normal for parents to have such thoughts. But parents must also know that it is normal for children to be unpopular in the eyes of others. There is a poem that says: \”Looking at the side, there are ridges and peaks, and the heights are different from near to far.\” Everyone\’s focus is different, and we cannot let everyone focus on the best shining points of their children. Learning to face the imperfect side of children is something every parent needs to learn. If a child is born with perfect scores, what is the point of growing up? How to teach children to face the dislike of others? As a born \”devil boy\”, Nezha is not subject to Chen Tang\’s influence.Li Jing and his wife knew that it was liked by the common people. As the commander-in-chief of Chentangguan, they were fully capable of forcing the people to accept Nezha, but they did not do so. They tried their best to teach Nezha to go on the right path and eliminate the prejudices of others. In fact, no parent wants to see their children suffer, but they are more mature and rational. After all, if you don’t teach your children how to face it, they will never know how to face it. Psychologist Adler said: \”When a person encounters an unsolvable problem but is convinced that he cannot solve it, he will show an inferiority complex.\” When a child grows up, he will definitely meet people who don\’t like him, so , teaching children to face the dislike of others is a required course for parents. Here, Teacher Cuckoo gives you some suggestions: 1. Restrain your urge to coax your children immediately. As a parent, it must be hard to hear that your child is not liked, but you must not coax your child immediately to prove to your child that this statement is false. of. For example: \”Of course not, they like you very much.\” \”You are the best, how could they not like you?\” This is a very wrong approach. Regarding children\’s doubts, we should not rush to expose the matter just to make the children happy, but should use this to teach the children how to face things. Calm down, listen carefully to your child, and understand your child\’s situation is the first thing you need to do. 2. Recognize your child’s emotions. It’s normal for children to have emotions when faced with denial. In order to continue to communicate effectively with their children, parents must recognize their children\’s emotions after listening to their children. Such an incident happened with Huo Siyan in the variety show \”Mom is Superman\”. A guest came to Uhm\’s house, and Huo Siyan spent most of his time playing with the new kid Leo. Uhm was depressed about this, thinking that his mother didn\’t love him anymore. Huo Siyan noticed Uhm\’s disappointment, so she asked him gently: \”Do you think mom loves others but not you?\” Then she explained patiently, telling her that she was playing with Leo because he was a guest, and she put the guests before her. The first one is a courtesy. Huo Siyan\’s empathetic approach not only made Uhm feel valued, but also made communication between her and Uhm smoother. Eileen Kennedy Moore, a famous American parenting expert, said: \”The most important step for parents to help their children deal with their emotions is to deal with their own emotions first.\” Put yourself into your child\’s emotions. At this time, say \”Baby\” to your child. , I know it must be sad not to be liked\” is far more comfortable than \”Don\’t be sad, there is always someone who likes you\”. 3. Help children analyze problems. The reason why children are in pain is because they can\’t find the reason why others don\’t like them. At this time, parents need to look at the problem rationally and help their children analyze the situation. Parents can ask questions while taking care of their children\’s emotions, such as: \”What do you think about them not liking you?\” to help their children think and guide them to express their thoughts. This can not only understand the child\’s heart, but also trigger the child\’s thinking about social issues. This will be of great help to children in solving such things independently in the future. 4. Strengthen children’s self-confidence. As the saying goes, “A ruler is short, an inch is long.”Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. The negation and prejudice of others can easily damage a child\’s self-confidence. At this time, most children will be filled with shortcomings and low self-esteem, leading to doubts about themselves. Children\’s inferiority and self-confidence are often only separated by their parents. Therefore, parents should not set high standards for their children and ask them to correct their shortcomings as soon as possible. This will put a lot of pressure on them. After analyzing the child\’s problems, you must affirm his strengths and let the child know that he is also cute and worthy of being liked. 5. Give reasonable suggestions based on the characteristics of the child. Each child has his own characteristics and strengths. As a parent, you need to discover the characteristics of your child and give advice that is suitable for your child based on the actual situation. Many times, children do not see themselves as thoroughly as their parents, so parents’ opinions are very important to their children. 6. Tell your children that not everyone likes you. Children do not have rich experience and experience. \”There will always be people who don\’t like you\” is incomprehensible and even cruel to them. But no matter what, we need to tell our children this. Only in this way will the child not be overly excited, confused, disappointed or even painful when someone does not like him. Only then will they bravely face the doubts of others and be better versions of themselves. Carnegie said: \”God never gives too much to anyone. Everyone is an apple that God took a bite out of, but the bite is in a different position.\” Everyone is unique in this world. It is not terrible for children to have shortcomings and not be liked by others. As parents, we must use actions to give children the ability to face it, so that children will not feel wronged because of other people\’s evaluations.