The greatest sorrow of a mother is that she easily reveals these two private things about her children to others. It is really stupid.

Cai Bin is a student in my class. I studied in our school for three years in junior high school, and my student status has always been in my hometown in the countryside. This time in the high school entrance examination, he ranked first in their county. His score ranked second in our school, breaking his previous record of fifth in the school. After the admission notice came out, my parents brought Cai Bin to see me and say goodbye. The child returned to his hometown to attend high school, and his parents also decided to go back to his hometown to work and stay with their child. The high school in their county allows students to live on campus, but Cai Bin\’s parents feel that this is the only time the family of three can stay together and stay together for three years. Therefore, they are very willing to put down everything they have worked hard for in this city for nine years and return to their hometown in the county to start over. In the process of communicating with Cai Bin\’s parents, my deepest emotion is: education, a matter that many parents are anxious about, is so simple for this couple with low academic qualifications. In them, I saw how parents truly love their children, and I also understood the source of Cai Bin’s sunshine, kindness and tenacity. Cai\’s father and Cai\’s mother were born in rural areas. Both of them are working families who stopped studying after graduating from junior high school. When you reach the marriageable age, you get married and have children. After Cai Bin was born, Cai\’s mother stayed in her hometown to take care of the child, while Cai\’s father continued to go out to work. Later, two things happened that made Cai\’s mother decide to \”Meng\’s mother move three times\” and take her children to study in the city. One thing is that her neighbor is a junior high school teacher. He hangs out in the mahjong room after get off work every day and on his days off. More than once, Cai’s mother saw her talking dirty words to her poker friends after losing money. Another thing is that Cai Bin is very timid and afraid of getting into trouble. He never dares to speak out when he is bullied outside. Once, Cai\’s mother asked him: \”Why didn\’t you fight back when someone hit you?\” The child didn\’t speak for a long time. Cai\’s mother finally asked with a bit of anger. The child replied in a very small voice: \”Dad is not at home. I don\’t want them.\” I\’m causing trouble for you.\” So, Cai\’s mother resolutely recalled Cai\’s father, who was working in Wenzhou: \”My child cannot grow up without my father.\” After Cai\’s father came back, Cai\’s mother began to pack and prepare to go to the provincial capital: \”It must be done. Let the children study in the provincial capital.\” The gentle mother Cai is very consistent in her children\’s education. Her appeal at the time was very simple: a family like ours and parents like ours can’t expect their children to succeed, but as long as their children are even slightly better than us, that’s victory. In the spring of 2014, their family moved to the provincial capital. The rental house is very simple, with everything from second-hand refrigerators to chopsticks, which a family of three bought. And every time Cai’s mother would let Cai Bin, who is 5 and a half years old, make the decision. Her idea was very straightforward: if he chooses and participates, he will cherish every brick of this family. Cai Bin was sent to preschool, and the couple looked for jobs. When I first arrived, it was hard to find a job, but every time I hit a wall or was fired after working for a few days, Cai\’s father and Cai\’s mother never shy away from their children. When the family of three was having dinner, Cai\’s father and Cai\’s mother talked about their job-hunting experiences. Naturally, Cai Bin also started talking about the things he did in preschool. Cai\’s mother has a mantra: \”We have no relatives in this city, so if you have happy or unhappy things, tell them all, and we will bear them together as a family.\” This is the brilliance of Cai\’s mother. She didn\’t feel that When the child is young, he doesn’t care what he thinks, but treats CaiTreat Bin as a person with an independent personality. Some parents always like to talk about their children with acquaintances, and often tell their children\’s embarrassing stories and secrets in front of their children, and use them as jokes. But Cai\’s mother has never been like this. She cares about saving face for her children and protecting their privacy. In her words, some embarrassing things are nothing to adults, but to children they are as big as the sky. If adults talk and laugh without taking things seriously, they may cause harm to children. Some secrets are secretly told to children by treating them as friends. If you don\’t take it seriously and talk loudly everywhere, it will only chill his heart and make the child become more and more alienated from you. Cai Ma is extremely honest with Cai Bin. She often said: \”My parents are both junior high school graduates, and the little they learned was enough for food. Therefore, you have to rely on yourself when it comes to learning. What you learn is what you learn. Since my parents don\’t understand, I won’t pretend to understand and ask you.” When the child encounters a problem after going to school, even though Cai’s father and Cai’s mother know how to do it, they don’t help the child, but ask the child to go to school to ask the teacher. Cai\’s mother also vaccinated Cai Bin in advance: \”The cost of living is very high when you move to the city to go to school, so your parents cannot afford to hire a tutor for you. Therefore, you must rely solely on your studies at school and stay close to the school.\” Follow the teacher, listen carefully in class, and don’t ask questions after class. This is what she told her children, and the implementation is the same. Even when the child is doing homework, because he has been doing a math problem repeatedly for two hours and the child is so anxious that he slaps the floor, Cai\’s father and Cai\’s mother still choose to do nothing to help and stand by. The next day, the child went to school and asked the teacher. He also asked the teacher to give five questions of the same type to take home. There is no child who is not playful. Once, Cai Bin was approached by his teacher because the child had not completed his homework for two consecutive days. That day, the child returned home terrified. However, the parents never said anything from beginning to end. As usual, the family of three has a clear division of labor. Cai Bin does his homework, his mother does the laundry, and his father cooks. At the dinner table, they were talking and laughing as usual, as if nothing had happened. Finally, the child couldn\’t bear it anymore and asked them: \”Mom and Dad, I didn\’t finish my homework for two days in a row. The teacher said that she was looking for my parents.\” Cai\’s father and Cai\’s mother said in unison: \”Yeah, I understand.\” Then nothing happened. . Cai Bin: \”Why don\’t you criticize me?\” Cai\’s mother: \”Didn\’t the teacher already criticize me?\” Cai Bin: \”I have been playing football with my classmates after school for the past two days. I was too tired from playing and just did my homework. I was sleepy, so I just went to bed.\” Cai\’s mother: \”It\’s not a big deal if I didn\’t do my homework once or twice. Playing football is also learning, and I can make friends, which is good.\” Cai Bin: \”You really don\’t criticize me? \”Cai\’s mother: \”You already know that you are wrong, and you have been criticized by the teacher. It\’s no big deal, but you still have to take turns.\” After that, the child never failed to complete his homework. Sometimes there is no time to do homework due to various things. Even if parents say they don’t have to do homework today and parents can say hello to the teacher, the children will choose to sleep for a while, set their own alarm clock, and get up one to one and a half hours earlier than usual. , get up and do homework. In the first grade of elementary school, there were 40 children in the class, and Cai Bin ranked 25th. The day the results came out, the child cried on the spot. But, back toBack home, Cai\’s father and Cai\’s mother didn\’t even say a word of blame. The two of us talked about how poor my grades were when I was in school. In elementary and junior high school, Cai’s father changed his grades on his own several times, but his parents found out and gave him a beating. Then, after comparing with each other, I came to the conclusion: \”My son can get the 25th place in the class and compete with the children in the city. This is already the best result among a family of three. It is the best result among three people.\” A top student.\” For this reason, his father went downstairs and bought a bottle of Coke, and the three of them drank it to celebrate \”Cai Bin\’s honor.\” The child burst into laughter under the comfort of his parents. In private, the couple often comforted each other. Dad Cai said: \”Our own grades are so poor, wouldn\’t it be ridiculous to ask our children to become academic masters?\” Cai\’s mother said to Dad Cai: \”As long as the children are healthy, happy and have good personalities , With that kind of perseverance, he will definitely not starve to death in the future. Neither of us will starve to death, so he must be better than us.\” After thinking that \”the child is better than us\”, they looked at the child and found that he was better than us. There are really many advantages. The children are very grateful. One time, the math teacher called Cai’s mother and told her that her child had scored full marks in the unit test that had just ended. After the results were announced, the child went to the math group, bowed to the teacher, and said, \”Teacher, thank you. I ask you questions every day. You are so patient and never bother me.\” After bowing, the child found the teacher\’s desk. The flowers on the bed were short of water, so I ran to the water room with the flowers in my arms and watered them. When I came back, I happily said to the teacher: \”Teacher, I finally found an opportunity to repay you.\” The head teacher reported to Cai\’s mother. , starting from the second grade, Cai Bin stayed on duty after school every night. When the teacher found out, he asked him why. He said that some classmates said that I was a loan student and that I was taking up the resources of the school, class, and classmates. I wanted to make up for it. The grandmother who lived downstairs reported to Cai\’s mother: \”For several days in a row, I found that the garbage I left at the door was \’lost\’. I paid special attention to it, and found out that it was your son who picked it up while he was at school. Go down and throw it away.\” These things were all reported to Cai\’s father and Cai\’s mother. They asked Cai Bin: \”Why have I never heard you say these things?\” The child said very proudly: \”It\’s such a big deal, what\’s there to say?\” Cai\’s mother asked him: \”My classmates said that to you, you Are you sad?\” Cai Bin replied: \”It\’s sad, but it\’s useless to be sad.\” The child\’s words made Cai\’s parents cry. As a result, the two of them unknowingly learned from their children in their daily work. Dad Cai delivers express delivery. If he sees garbage in the corridor, he will help others carry it away with ease. He took orders that were remote, far away or even had unknown addresses that his colleagues were unwilling to take. And he also gradually came up with his own algorithm. Although it is time-consuming and labor-intensive to accept orders that others are unwilling to send, it is not profitable. However, if you run a lot, you will always receive a few shipping orders during the delivery process. . After all, it actually makes money. In the words of Dad Cai: God will not treat those who dare to suffer losses badly. The same goes for Cai\’s mother. She first worked as a housekeeper, and then was introduced to her as a caregiver by a fellow villager. When I first arrived, the so-called \”agent\” who was in charge of the nursing staff always sent those elderly people who were unable to take care of themselves to Ma Cai. Cai Ma never choosesWhen she was tortured by those Alzheimer\’s patients and wanted to run away, she said to herself: I can\’t be filial to my parents, so I should take care of them as my own parents. Later, Cai\’s mother no longer needed an \”agent\” to assign work, and she was still charged a commission. The patient\’s family members spread word of mouth that Cai\’s mother had too much work to do. Good luck flows healthily in this home. Because my parents are very busy, especially Cai’s mother’s work, they often can’t sleep at home even one night a month. But as long as the family of three can have a meal together, they will definitely cook several good dishes, and everyone will talk about the happy and lucky things they have encountered recently. A family of three always has endless topics to talk about. Every time, the child says, \”Mom, Dad, no, I have to do my homework.\” The parents hold the child back: \”Don\’t worry, let\’s talk for a while.\” In elementary school , Cai Bin\’s grades were not ideal, below average, but every time his grades came out, Cai Bin\’s parents couldn\’t stand it anymore and asked them, \”Why don\’t you do anything?\” Are you concerned about my study? The Cai family\’s parents said nonchalantly: \”The ink in my parents\’ stomachs may be wrong when they say it. Don\’t mislead you.\” \”We are all scumbags ourselves, why should we ask you to study well?\” You are sensible, kind and self-disciplined. You are already so much better than your parents. What qualifications do we have to point fingers at you? \”This is the self-effacement and self-knowledge of Cai\’s parents and Cai\’s mother, and it is also their brilliance that they are not aware of. Faced with their children\’s frustration with their grades, they have been constantly relaxing their children: \”You study well, and you will be the icing on the cake. If you don\’t study well, your life will be good as a person, and that\’s fine. Even if your parents are illiterate and haven\’t starved to death, and you can still gain a foothold in the provincial capital, you will naturally live a better life than us. So, nothing to worry about. Eat when you should, drink when you should, and the most important thing is to have fun every day. \”This is how education works in reverse. The more parents lower their expectations, the more their children will have higher demands on themselves. A parent once asked Cai\’s mother: \”Does Cai Bin in your family have a rebellious period? \”Cai\’s mother thought about it seriously. It did happen. It happened in the first grade of junior high school. I discovered it at that time. Cai Bin actually brought his mobile phone to school. I didn\’t bother him, but reported the matter to Cai\’s mother, hoping that she would Pay attention. I remember telling her at that time that children of this age should not make noises or scold her, and just take advantage of their guilt and take their phones back. I didn’t know until today that I was wrong, or underestimated. Cai\’s mother. She returned home that day and said to Cai Bin in a flattering manner: \”Why don\’t you tell your mother if you want a mobile phone? I guess you must use the pocket money and meal expenses that are usually given to you.\” I saved everything and bought a second-hand mobile phone. \”Cai Bin was extremely ashamed at the time. Unexpectedly, Cai\’s mother continued to encourage: \”Let\’s play for a few days. You have been too sensible since you were a child and never did anything to make your parents worry. But who is not a baby yet? Now you are in adolescence. You should also be rebellious. Show your mother. Don\’t worry, I will never tell your dad. \”Not only did Cai\’s mother not betray the child to Cai\’s father, but she also stood guard for him. However, the child played for two nights and then returned the phone to the mother. He said: \”Actually, it doesn\’t mean anything. \”Cai\’s mother said to Cai Bin: \”Son, you don\’t have to be so sensible. existAt your age, it\’s normal to do something outrageous and get into a little trouble. Before you were a minor, your parents were there to cause trouble. It would be really embarrassing if you come to trouble us again when you become an adult. \”Throughout the three years of junior high school, Cai Bin has made steady progress and his grades have been improving. In fact, as a teacher with countless students, I must admit that Cai Bin is not the kind of talented and intelligent child I have taught, but he is better than He is emotionally stable, confident and optimistic. He has a method that never fails. If he makes a mistake on a question, he will ask the teacher for help. If he does not understand, he will ask the teacher for five to ten more questions of the same type. During lunch break, he asked another child in the class for a question. I sat in front silently and listened to the conversation between the two. The classmate said, \”Didn\’t you ask the teacher this question yesterday?\” Cai Bin: \”Yes, but I found that your problem-solving ideas are different from the teacher\’s.\” \”So, the classmate explained it to him. Cai Bin didn\’t understand it the first time, so he asked his classmate to explain it to him again. After the classmate finished explaining, he sighed: \”Compared with you, I think my brain is the legendary one. wood lumps. The classmate laughed: \”But you have high emotional intelligence.\” Cai Bin didn\’t laugh: \”It\’s okay, no need to comfort me.\” My mother-in-law had a tattoo with the words \”Serve the Country with Loyalty\”, and later asked my mother to tattoo \”Diligence can make up for one\’s weakness\” on my back. \”The two of them laughed. I was eavesdropping silently, and my heart was filled with tenderness. A child, when he is a teenager, can clearly observe the inner world, compare without comparing, know himself without feeling inferior, how valuable it is. Such a child, I can\’t wait to see their future. It is because of this solidity that Cai Bin became the dark horse of this high school entrance examination. Because of him, his parents, who had already established a foothold in the provincial capital, moved back to their hometown to work and live in the county. The child made it clear that it was perfectly fine for him to live in school. But Cai’s parents and Cai’s mother did not worry about their children, but they felt that the time a father and son spent with their children was limited, and they did not want to miss these precious three years. Mom’s words: “I have nothing to do with my children. \”In this pair of parents, what I see is the parents\’ low expectations, high appreciation, and unconditional love, which can help their children grow up with twice the result with half the effort. I also see the good luck of a family that circulates in a positive and high-energy magnetic field. . The low-educated father and mother of Cai tell us with practical results: How can education be so easy? This is why I have come to tell you this story in a hurry. I have seen so many parents. Anxious and helpless, many of you are better educated, have higher incomes, and have a higher starting point than Cai’s parents, but you may not be as calm, relaxed and self-effacing as they are. I have always told everyone that education is actually a game. The transfer of energy. As parents, we must first be high-energy ourselves, love work and life, be positive, optimistic, and beautiful. Third-rate parents serve as nannies, second-rate parents serve as coaches, and first-rate parents serve as role models every day. Children will naturally learn ways to improve themselves and become better themselves. Therefore, I am not telling you an inspirational story about a top student. I want you to relax and live a rich life first. Then, use. Use life to influence life, use soul to nourish soul, useWisdom inspires wisdom. I hope you are happy to be parents.