The growth code for children aged 1-14 years old: Revealing the secrets of how to raise outstanding children

The Gesell Institute of Child Development at Yale University has followed children for more than 40 years, investigating the changes and development of children\’s physical, psychological needs, and behavior between the ages of 1 and 14. These essential results can help parents truly understand their children: know what their children really need, and how to raise truly outstanding and happy children. Many parents will have doubts and worries of one kind or another at various stages of their children\’s growth: Why are they not as obedient as before? Why aren\’t you as lively as before? Why did you start lying? Why have academic performance deteriorated? Why don\’t you like to communicate with me anymore? Why don\’t you care about others? Why do you just play games all day? …….We often don’t understand the countless “whys” these children grow up with. I believe this article can help parents, from now on, truly \”understand\” their children and understand their children\’s physiological needs, psychological needs, changes in intrinsic needs, and behavioral changes at various stages. Use understanding and love to cultivate better children! 01 The \”harmony period\” and the \”stubborn period\” from 1 to 2 and a half years old. We always say: it is very important for children to be 3 years old. Although when children grow up, they rarely remember things under 3 years old. But facts show that even if the child does not remember the experience within the age of 3, it will have a huge impact on the child\’s life. From about 1 and a half to 2 and a half years old, children will repeatedly shuttle between the \”peaceful period\” and the \”stubborn period\”. Because children are growing rapidly at this time, these cycles are relatively short. At this time, if children are given more companionship and attention, their sense of security will be satisfied and a good foundation will be laid for future character development. 02 The 2-year-old child always puts the word \”no\” in front of his head, rolls around, insists on having his own way, is possessive, and is selfish and overbearing. In fact, these behaviors of the child are just because: the child begins to have self-awareness, will, and intention. But they don\’t know how to express it, and even they themselves don\’t quite understand their own intentions. When dealing with such a young baby, the main discipline techniques are guidance and detours. Safety first, don’t tell your children not to play or touch. Parents need to lock up what should be locked up and buckle the lids on what should be covered. Explore the child\’s daily routine and take appropriate measures before the child falls into a trap that may lead to bad moods, such as letting the child eat, sleep, and take him to other places to play. Understand many of the children\’s \”bad behaviors\” as children\’s knowledge-seeking behaviors of exploring and learning. For example, if you teach your child how to build building blocks, he will push down your finished product and refuse to learn from you. At this time, you should interpret his behavior as: he is now more interested in the phenomenon when the blocks collapse, and he is thinking about the relationship between pushing and falling. 03 The 3-year-old child is friendly, calm, safe, easy to accept, and willing to share. The 3-year-old child is friendly, calm, safe, easy to accept, and willing to share. At the age of 3, his always tough attitude of rejection decreased and was replaced by sharing or dependence, but he could also experience his own growth and enhancement of abilities. He has become quite mature and comfortable in controlling his body movements. His pace was steady and he took tight turns with ease. Language skills are also developed moregood. But from the age of 3 and a half to the age of 4, resistance becomes the biggest feature of this period. Three and a half years old is an age of introversion, anxiety, insecurity, and extremely strong willpower. The 3-and-a-half-year-old child is very insecure, and even shows insecurities in his physical development, such as stuttering, falling frequently, and sometimes shaking with nervousness. On the one hand, he is insecure, but on the other hand, he wants to dominate the external world. Because he couldn\’t control his emotions, he struggled to live a very unhappy life every day. He is experiencing himself in relationship to others and to himself as an individual. Many children at this age have imaginary friends, either people or animals. What\’s more interesting is that the Oedipus complex will appear at this time. 04 4-year-old children are lively at heart. They love adventure, hiking, and excitement. 4-year-old children love anything new, contact with unknown people, go to new places, new games, new toys, and new activities. and books. No one responds more to adults\’ ideas for entertainment than they do. The 4-year-old child discovered that although adults still have great power, they are not omnipotent. At the same time, he also discovered that he is very powerful. From his point of view, bad things can be done and the roof will not collapse. A 4-year-old child often talks about shit, shit and the like. By the age of 4 and a half, he began to learn to bargain. From this period onwards, children gradually understand whether things are good or bad. During this period, the happiest thing for him was listening to some short stories before going to bed. 05 The 5-year-old child is cheerful, sensible, and reasonable. He is determined to be a good child and please his mother. The most pleasing trait at this age is that he loves life, enjoys himself, and always sees the bright side of life. noodle. The life of a 5-year-old child is always closely related to the present and here. He cared deeply about his room, his home, his street, his neighbors, and his kindergarten classroom. 5-year-old children naturally become quieter, more controlled, and more family-oriented. He likes to abide by established rules and restrictions, and feels more at ease and comfortable with what others have tried or established facts. His most interesting time is now and his favorite place is here. A 5-year-old child seldom gets into trouble. The most important thing is that he already has a miraculous ability to judge what he can and cannot do. In other words, he has learned self-control, he will measure his own abilities, clearly distinguish between what he can do and what he cannot do, and make accurate judgments, and he will only try those things he thinks he can definitely do. After repeated successes, he built up his confidence. A 5-year-old child will not worry about things randomly, but a 6-year-old child will often worry about not being able to find his mother after school. A 5-year-old child will think that his mother must be at home, not only now, but always in the future. They take it for granted that he and his parents are immortal. At the age of 5 and a half, there will be a major change. The characteristics of the 5 and a half year old are hesitation, laziness and idleness. 06 A 6-year-old child has entered a stormy second rebellious period. Six pairs of children have extremely polarized personalities.In a blink of an eye, I hate the things I loved so much just a moment ago. The center of his world is no longer his mother, but himself, and he wants everything to be his way. 6-year-old children are at the two extremes of being very obedient and very rebellious at the same time. Writing strokes or numbers backwards is a very common 6-year-old phenomenon. He is competitive in everything and cannot tolerate any failure. And he is now in a sensitive period where he is easily hurt. Nightmares can also cause great distress to 6-year-old children. The biggest problem is: his relationship with his mother also wanders between two extremes. He is deeply dependent on his mother, but at the same time he is trying to stand up on his own, psychologically hoping that he will not have to rely on anyone else. A 6-year-old child is not very clear about the difference between \”his own things\” and \”other people\’s things\”, so it is a common phenomenon to take away other people\’s things that he likes. 07 7-year-old children care about their status and value in the family. 7-year-old children no longer talk back to you like they did when they were 6 years old, but they don’t like to interact with others as much. He tends to have a poor memory, is easily distracted, takes his time at work, and is not interested in helping around the house. When others ask him to do something, he often doesn\’t answer or act for a long time. He lives in his own secret garden, full of sentimental undertones. He will feel that others do not like him and are deliberately causing trouble for him. A 7-year-old child can easily imagine the bad side of everything. A 7-year-old child is very concerned about not being late for school, completing homework in time, and receiving his own things in his own place. From this time on, the child knows how to care about how others evaluate him. To be precise, he began to care about what the teacher thought of him, and began to want to be a good student who would satisfy the teacher. Moreover, the mind of a 7-year-old child has matured and needs its own space. That\’s why he likes to have his things in his own place. If possible, the child at this time needs his own table, his own drawer, his own box, and his own bed. Not only do 7-year-old children\’s handwriting become much smaller, but they also like to ponder very small things. This is because their eyes and brains have reached this stage of development. He will like to look very close, even if his eyes touch the thing. 7-year-old children are very concerned about their status and value in the family. Although the establishment of moral concepts does not begin to form until the age of 8, 7-year-old children have already begun to develop a sense of morality. He began to care that he could not take other people\’s things (although he would still take them occasionally); he could not lie or deceive others, and he would not deny or blame others if he did something wrong; and he would be willing to abide by the rules and abide by them without error. 08 An 8-year-old child suddenly becomes a chatterbox. It is completely opposite to a 7-year-old child. A child may suddenly become a chatterbox. He suddenly became very strict with himself and others, and could even be said to be very harsh. This brings another milestone growth for 8-year-old children, which is that they begin to establish the concept of moral right and wrong, and begin to understand the cause-and-effect relationship between things. He is very willing to be a good kid, willing to get things done, and willing to follow the rules. An 8-year-old child\’s view of \”right and wrong\” is no longer a simple polarity of \”good and bad\”, and his thinking begins to become fuller. He cares about how he feels about himself, also cares about how others feel about him. His concept of good and bad is no longer limited to whether his parents allow him to do something, but he has established a concept of right and wrong based on his budding causal logical relationship. Before that, children\’s judgments of \”good\” and \”bad\” came from their parents\’ \”permission\” or \”disapproval\”. He will keep his ears open to listen to what adults say about him when they chat, or try to figure out their expressions when they speak. He very much hopes to be recognized and praised by others, and is very sensitive to criticism from others. So when he is criticized, he often finds reasons or blames others first to make it easier for him to bear. 8-year-old children are the age when they need their mothers most emotionally. He desperately needs his mother to share his thoughts, fantasies, conversations, and games. He always likes to be with his mother, including working, playing, chatting and reading together, which makes him feel that he \”owns\” all of her. No matter how busy a mother is, she must allocate at least half an hour every day to wholeheartedly satisfy the child\’s psychological needs of \”all possession of mother\”. This will help the child successfully go through the period of psychological attachment to the mother and lay a solid foundation for the child to calmly move towards independence at the age of 9. At this time, he was full of interest in exploration and adventure. He could take the bus home by himself on a familiar path, and the scope of exploration in his living area became wider and wider, and he even crossed the boundary and went to other people\’s private courtyards. He loved geography, studying and even using maps. However, it is important to note that the rate of injuries among 8-year-old children is the highest among all age groups. 8-year-old children are very sensitive to the relationship between their parents. He began to pay attention to what happened at home, including paying attention to adults\’ phone calls, letters, and gossip, trying to find his place in the family. He likes to play with children of the same age and the same gender. The friendship at this time is a true two-way friendship, because he is no longer purely self-centered and begins to pay attention to what others do and think. Not only is he willing to serve others, but he also hopes that others will be as willing to repay him as he is. 09 The independent and persistent learning ability of a 9-year-old child has improved across the year. In the past few years, every time a grade was reached, the difficulty of the homework requirements seemed to only increase a little bit compared to the previous year. But now we have encountered a huge leap: to be competent in fourth-grade homework, not only do children need to have new ways of thinking and new abstract concepts, but they also need to use new methods to apply some of the knowledge they have learned before. Teachers are very aware that the requirements for fourth-grade primary school students are a leap-forward improvement. However, many parents do not understand this. Therefore, if a child who has always studied well in the past suddenly and unexpectedly struggles to learn, parents will often feel very surprised. Although many nine-year-old children do face quite severe academic requirements, most children still like to go to school. The whole routine of getting up in the morning and getting ready for school has now become quite smooth. There is rarely any frenzy and fuss. Most children have already taken on many of the tasks of getting ready for school themselves. Children may talk about school more than before when they come home. He especially likes to talk about some of his own successes, outstanding performances, andTalk about something special that happened at school. \”Sense of achievement\” is very important for children of this age. Therefore, little boys and girls often become very competitive. Whether they are doing homework or playing, they are unwilling to fail and must try their best. 10 The life of a 10-year-old child is very beautiful. He is an action child, not a thinking child. The child feels as if there is a watershed between the age of 9 and 10. Once he crosses it, the child will climb a new mountain and come to A new region, entering a new growth cycle from 10 to 14 years old. In general, a 10-year-old\’s life is better than that of a 9-year-old, especially since he can \”do more.\” A 10-year-old child is an \”action\” child, not a \”thinking\” child. Any simple thing can bring him great happiness, such as being able to go out to play after dinner, no homework, and visiting a children\’s playground. There will be less and less fear. According to reports from 10-year-old children, children who used to be afraid of dogs and the dark are actually no longer afraid of these things. The most common emotional expression of a 10-year-old child is anger – when this contented, cooperative, and cute little 10-year-old child gets angry, it is like a volcano erupting, fast and violent, even kicking and biting. If he could control it a little better, he would yell, cry, and return to his room while stamping his feet and cursing. Although 10-year-old children can cry when they are angry, in general they feel that \”how can they cry at such an age\”, so tears at this age are the least. Sadness sometimes makes them cry, but less often, and they are more likely to be angry and cry. A 10-year-old may be sad, but usually not deeply. If someone breaks their heart, some children will \”cry home\”, while others will pretend as if nothing has happened and quickly calm down to cover up their embarrassment. 11 11-year-old children are always in a dynamic and unstable age state. 11-year-old children do not deliberately do regular things in terms of self-care and daily routine. Emotionally, signs of rebellion have grown. The self-awareness of 11-year-old children is growing, their awareness of independence is increasing, and capriciousness is the norm, and parents must understand it. In terms of activities and hobbies, the antagonism increases and the child is unwilling to play alone. In school, teachers began to be very strict, and teachers also faced challenges. 12 The personality and behavior of 12-year-old children are in a more ideal state. Various characteristics of early adolescence are highlighted. The self-care and daily routine of 12-year-old children have made adults worry a lot. The reduction of negative emotions is the main feature of this age. They are confident, independent, considerate, and self-assertive. CCTV recommends over 500 high-scoring documentaries. After watching it, children become self-disciplined and addicted. In terms of interpersonal relationships, the relationship with their families has eased, and the opposite sex is no longer exclusive. At the same time, they have broad interests and prefer group activities. Enthusiastic, even overzealous, about student life. In terms of morality, they have a little more thinking and a little less impulse. 13 A 13-year-old child’s tangled self-personalityA 13-year-old boy with frequent flashes of practical ability will make a sudden turn or brake suddenly on the road to youth. He changed from the sunshine and calmness he had when he was 12 years old, and fell into a tangled state again. Not willing to interact with others, introverted, a bit withdrawn, and unwilling to be spied on by others. Although he doesn\’t like dealing with adults, he already has his own unique perspective on problems. At this time, he began to know how to restrain himself, he would not eat endlessly, and he could basically go to bed on time. Although his character was gloomy, pessimistic, and secretive at this time, when it came to hands-on work, he frequently showed flashes of inspiration and liked to knock, repair and make things by himself. Generally speaking, 13-year-old boys have clearly shown the characteristics of adolescent boys. 14 A 14-year-old child has a vibrant year, but the unexpected events cannot be ignored. When he enters the age of 14 from the naughty 13-year-old, in this vibrant year, you will see a boy with changing roles. He loves school, loves interacting with people, and is willing to make his life very fulfilling. At 14 years old, he is more tolerant and less critical of things he dislikes than he was a year ago. Although 14-year-old children have so many advantages, it cannot be ignored that some boys and girls will be exposed to some bad habits at this time. In terms of sex, 14-year-olds will encounter many problems such as unwanted pregnancy and abortion because they do not have enough knowledge and information. At this time, how parents face and discipline their children\’s sexual problems is a very necessary and difficult matter. Fortunately, most 14-year-olds will show a stronger sense of responsibility, which is gratifying. The above is the \”growth code\” for children aged 1-14 years old. I hope that many parents will have different understandings and insights at different stages of their children. On the road of raising and nurturing children, there may be troubled moments, and there may be troublesome moments, but I believe that every parent can gain countless wonderful warmth and happiness from their children. Bless all parents and children, and wish each child to grow up slowly and have long-lasting innocence and happiness.