The higher the level of parents, the less restrictive they are to their children.

A mother said in a message that she felt she was trapped in a strange circle in her children\’s education. The greater her expectations for her children, the greater her disappointment. In order to train her children to become excellent people, this mother gave up all her time, accompanying her children to do homework in the evenings, and accompanying her children to various cram schools on weekends. However, the children\’s grades not only did not improve significantly, but also declined. , and her words will not have much effect on the children. She didn\’t understand why, after spending so much on her children, her own children were not as good as other children who seemed to have little care. Many parents have this kind of anxiety. They have provided such good conditions for their children and paid so much for their children, but the gap between their children\’s rewards and their own efforts is getting wider and wider. It is not difficult to understand this problem if you think about it carefully, because we have too high expectations for children, put too much pressure on children, and pay more attention to the transmission of pressure, but do not provide more inner support to children. An interesting phenomenon is that parents who don\’t seem to care much about their children and who don\’t have high demands on their children actually teach better children. An important reason is that these parents themselves are relatively high-level and have relatively low requirements for their children. Under the influence of a relaxed environment and parents, they can stimulate the inner motivation of their children. Li Qingzhao of the Song Dynasty is known as \”the most talented woman throughout the ages.\” Although only more than 70 of her poems have been handed down, she has the same reputation as those male poets who have left thousands of poems. Li Qingzhao\’s great achievements are inseparable from her family environment when she was young. In ancient times, influenced by feudal thought, it was generally believed that a woman\’s lack of talent was a virtue. Women did not need to have knowledge, as long as they abide by etiquette, obey their husbands, and obey the four virtues. In Li Qingzhao\’s teenage years, she was not raised to be such a daughter. Her father, Li Gefei, was a Jinshi scholar. He was well-read in poetry and books and was appreciated by Su Shi. He was one of the four bachelors after the Su family. He had held education-related positions such as Taixue Zheng and Taixue doctor. Her mother, Wang, came from a well-known family. Her grandfather was the imperial examination champion of Song Renzong Dynasty. Her mother was very good at writing articles. Her parents did not ask her to stay at home and learn etiquette like other parents. Instead, they taught her to read, write poetry, and write articles when she had nothing to do. They also allowed her to go out to play when the weather was nice. Drink and drink. Li Qingzhao wrote a poem \”Like a Dream\”: \”I often remember that the sun sets in the creek pavilion, and I am so drunk that I don\’t know the way back. I return to the boat late after my excitement, and I stray into the depths of the lotus root. I fight for the crossing, and I startle a pool of gulls and herons.\” The experience of traveling and drinking. Li Qingzhao, who grew up in such a family environment, had extremely high cultural accomplishment. As her experience continued to enrich, the content of her lyrics also continued to change, and she eventually became a famous female poet in the history of literature. To talk about a successful example of educating children, one must mention Liang Qichao. He gave birth to nine children in his life, three of whom were academicians. The other children also made outstanding achievements in their respective fields. Liang Qichao himself has many titles, including thinker, politician, educator, historian, writer, etc., and has made outstanding achievements in many fields. Such a character, when educating children, is a loving father, friend, and mentor. He has requirements for children and hopes that they will become talents., but there are no strict restrictions on them. He has written more than 300 letters to his children alone. In his letters, he has no harsh words for his children, and he has no hard and fast rules. When the children make progress, he expresses happiness, and when the children are emotional, he expresses his happiness. It becomes an emotional counselor to enlighten. When a child wants to choose a major, he only gives suggestions, and it is the child who makes the final decision. For example, he once suggested that his second daughter Liang Sizhuang study biology, which he thought had a future in China. However, he found that his daughter was more interested in literature, so he agreed to switch her to literature. Later, the child became obsessed with library science. These are all daughters Make your own decision. The children are studying abroad, and he hopes that the children can achieve great results. But when the children feel stressed, he tells them that what we are looking for is knowledge, not diplomas, so there is no need to worry, just work hard consciously, and there is no need to exert too much force. Regarding the secret of his success in educating his children, he once said, \”I often feel that I have to use myself as a role model for young people, and at least I should be worthy of being a role model for your sisters and brothers. I also believe that all of my children will learn from me. This kind of inheritance and teaching will not be corrupted by the hardship or comfort of the environment.\” He has this confidence, and with a father like him, his children will never do too badly. I once chatted with a friend and she said: \”We, the children we teach, will never be too bad in the future. Don\’t push your children too hard.\” I asked her why she had such confidence. She said that we have all received formal education, have never given up hard work and study, still have a certain enthusiasm for life and work, and have never given up on ourselves. Children can feel this mental state. If we ask too much of our children, it will put more pressure on them. We just convey our anxiety to our children without taking into account their feelings. In fact, as long as we do our best, our children will never be too bad, she said. Regarding how to educate children, no one dares to say that their own education method is suitable for all children. Every child has different characteristics. I am afraid no one knows their children better than their parents. As a parent, what you need to do is to stand next to your child, watch your child grow, and give him appropriate advice and guidance, instead of driving your child away with a whip or leading him with a rope. The higher the level of parents, the less restrictions they place on their children; the less restrictions they place on their children, the more their children can unleash their nature. It is not the parents who have the final say on what their children will be like, but they themselves have the final say.