The labels you inadvertently put on your children are destroying their understanding of themselves.

Yesterday, my best friend and I had dinner together with our own small oil bottle. His baby is eight years old and has just entered third grade. Talking about the child\’s academic performance, my best friend said angrily: \”My baby can\’t speak English well, and I\’m so worried!\” The two children were having fun, and when my best friend\’s baby heard this, his eyes darkened. I quickly made a look and said, \”No, I saw that his English homework was very good the other day.\” Then I changed the topic. Afterward, I reminded her that she had made a serious mistake: randomly labeling children. After hearing this, my best friend asked in confusion: \”Is it that serious? I just said it casually.\” Of course it is serious. The third grade is a special stage. Because he has just started to come into contact with English and the learning tasks are getting heavier, the child\’s performance has deteriorated. Ups and downs are normal. As a parent, you should not laugh at your children\’s shortcomings and put negative labels on them. This may cause your children to carry the label of \”poor English\” throughout their lives. What you say casually has a great impact on the child\’s young mind, and it is easy to cause the child\’s strengths to become longer and longer, and his shortcomings to become shorter and shorter. Once there is a shortcoming in learning, boredom will occur and a vicious circle will be formed, and it will be even more difficult to make up for it. There is a labeling effect in management. When a person is labeled with a word, he will manage his self-image and develop in the direction defined by the label to make himself conform to the requirements of the label as much as possible. This behavior is caused by being labeled. Caused by this, it is called the label effect. In family education, the phenomenon of labeling children can be seen everywhere. Reflect on whether you often say to your child in front of others, intentionally or unintentionally, \”My baby doesn\’t like vegetables.\” Then the child will be even more disgusted with eating vegetables. If you say to your child, \”Why are you so stupid! You got such a simple question wrong!\” then the child will be even stupider, because he feels that adults know that he is stupid, and it doesn\’t matter if he doesn\’t work hard. When a child cries, if you reprimand the child, \”You crybaby, you cry all the time!\”, then the child will cry even more. You criticize Dabao: \”You like bullying your sister so much. You are really like a sadist.\” After hearing such comments, Dabao will bully Erbao even more because he has accepted the label of \”sadism\” you gave him. Your verbal cues often make bad things happen. There was a little baby in the kindergarten who didn\’t like to draw and even showed extreme disgust. Every time he took a painting class, he would express a feeling of extreme unease. He didn\’t paint. One moment he said he wanted to drink water, the next he needed to go to the toilet, and the next he said he was hungry and wanted to eat snacks. He made all kinds of excuses to escape. Even if he had to pick up a paintbrush, he would draw a few circles casually, without any hesitation. It’s hard to treat it seriously, let alone enjoy the joy of painting. I was very curious about his attitude toward painting, so I contacted his parents to find out the reason. His mother is an outspoken person. After hearing what I said about her son\’s avoidance of painting, she was so angry that she said she would take care of him when she got home. I am a little helpless and feel sorry for my children to have such parents, but there is no way. In this kindergarten, which is mainly the children of migrant workers, the quality of the children\’s parents is uneven. We cannot assume that all parentsThey are all gentle with their children. She said that her children used to like to draw, but later she felt that her children were not good at drawing and she said a few words to him. Could it be because of this? Children\’s drawings are always unconstrained and full of endless imagination. Picasso, the painting genius, once said that children are the best at painting in the world, and every child is a born artist. Just because we can\’t understand children\’s paintings does not mean that the children are not good at painting, but it is a sign of our lack of imagination. This parent is undoubtedly stifling the child\’s imagination. She labels the child \”painting is not good or bad,\” and the child identifies with this negative evaluation and loses his determination to pick up a paintbrush. I tried my best to explain to this parent the dangers of her approach, and suggested that she respect her child\’s paintings and not label her child at will. I also hope that her child can get rid of this negative comment as soon as possible and become a little kid again. artist. Some parents deliberately say that their children are not good or bad in certain aspects. Their intention is to use negative incentives to make their children develop in good ways. As everyone knows, after giving such a negative label to a child, the child will follow the guidance of the parent and develop in a bad direction. Therefore, putting negative labels on children is not only difficult to achieve the desired effect, but may also make children psychologically accept their own shortcomings and break the rules. It is difficult to label children as a motivational method because children\’s own thinking ability develops slowly. When others, especially parents, label children with a specific label, children will unconsciously develop a sense of identity. Then develop in the direction specified by the label. When parents make negative comments about one of their children\’s abilities, the children will doubt their abilities and conclude that they are lacking in this aspect. Once a child identifies with the negative label imposed by his parents, it will be difficult for him to have the confidence to work hard for it. Subconsciously, he thought that no matter how hard he tried, he could not do this well, because it was difficult to change what adults had already decided. Therefore, the stronger the parent\’s prestige in the child\’s mind, the more powerful the negative label that the parent puts on the child will be, and the greater the impact will be. Please don\’t laugh at your children\’s shortcomings in public. When your child shows shortcomings in a certain aspect, what you have to do is to help him analyze the reasons and find solutions, rather than ridicule and ridicule. Every label has a negative side and a positive side. Positive labels are an affirmation of children\’s abilities and enable children to continue working towards their strengths. Of course, we can use the positive motivational effect of positive labels. \”Our child is very diligent and often helps me with housework.\” \”He always knows when to study and when to play.\” \”The child is really sensible and knows how to give me a pat on the back.\” Post this to the child Labels can play a positive guiding role to a certain extent. However, we must realize that improper use of front-facing labels may have adverse effects. Without taking into account the actual situation of the child, arbitrary labels are set for the child according to the parents\’ own wishes, and the child is \”raised\”. Once the child discovers that the parent is exaggerating about his own strengths, it is easy for the child to lose trust in the parent, resulting in frustration. The function of tags is to mark the content and classification of the target, but childrenThe growth of a child has unlimited possibilities and should not be limited. So please do not set labels for your children at will, because your child\’s future may be defined within a certain range because of your random hint.