The lower the level of the mother, the less happy the child is

While browsing Weibo, I accidentally saw a picture from the Dolce & Gabbana show, and I was so envious. On the left is the 19-year-old Italian supermodel Vittoria Ceretti, and on the right is her mother. But judging from the photos, these are not mother and daughter, they are clearly two sisters of similar age! Netizens also lamented that VC\’s mother has such a proud daughter who has a successful career at the age of only nineteen and shines on the catwalk. If it is said that \”children are parents\’ business cards,\” VC\’s mother\’s business card is inlaid with gold. But what I envy even more is that VC has such a mother who knows how to take care of herself, keep in shape, and is always pursuing fashion and beauty. As the proverb goes, children grow up watching their parents’ backs. It is easier for a daughter to live like her mother, even if you never deliberately imitate her. I remember my friend Xiaowen once told me that she didn\’t like her mother very much when she was a child, because her mother always complained about her father, nagging her whenever she disagreed, and often yelled at her, which made the atmosphere at home very unpleasant. However, after getting married, she found that she unconsciously complained about her husband. After having children, her attitude towards her children was exactly the same as her mother\’s treatment of her when she was a child. A mother\’s lifestyle will directly affect her children\’s lifestyle. We all say that \”Meng Mu\’s Three Moves\” shows the impact of the environment on people, but in fact, it is Meng Mu who determines the impact! Just imagine, if Mencius\’s mother did not pay attention to her children\’s education and chose to live near a cemetery or a market casually, then when Mencius grew up, he might have become a serious funeral director, a cunning hawker or a busy butcher. It is very likely that we will Missing is such an influential thinker. Similarly, the mother\’s values ​​​​and attitude toward life will also subtly affect the child. Faye Wong has always been famous in the music industry for her maverick and willful personality, and her three love stories are even more talked about. In the eyes of some people, she is not a \”good mother\” because she is too self-centered and treats her feelings very purely. She was still in a girlish relationship until she was in her forties. She never thought about having a \”complete family\” for her children and maintaining a marriage that had ended its destiny. Her attitude towards her daughter is clearly reflected in the song she wrote to her daughter. She said to her eldest daughter, \”You can\’t be bad, you don\’t have to be too good.\” She said to her second daughter, \”You can teach people to be kind without saying a word, and you don\’t realize that you are at peace, and you don\’t cause trouble and you can\’t make waves.\” The eldest daughter Dou Jingtong is not a \”good child\” in the traditional sense, but she is not a bad learner either. She prefers androgynous looks, has dyed her hair hot pink, and even had a \”death wind\” tattoo running from her chin to her collarbone. Some people say that Faye Wong is a helpless mother who cannot control her rebellious daughter. Some people say that she is a derelict mother who blindly indulges her daughter. However, the true mother-daughter relationship revealed by Dou Jingtong in an interview is this: \”It is equality and respect. Our family does not care. Regardless of age, including my sister, everyone communicates and decides on things on an equal footing, so I don’t need to be rebellious.” Dou Jingtong, who grew up in this environment, became a blockbuster with her English single “With you” when she was 15 years old. At the age of 19, he was named \”Hot-searched Singer of the Year\” by netizens and launched his firstZhang has created a solo album, and also composed the theme song for the movie \”July and Ansheng\”, and also gave a stunning performance at Faye Wong\’s concert. Although the second daughter Li Yan is still young, she is already a very thoughtful girl. The nine-year-old makes videos to share makeup, styling and fashion tutorials in a serious way. Her movements and words are full of confidence and optimism, claiming that \”only I can understand Sister Fei\’s fashion\”, showing no trace of the impact of her cleft lip and palate when she was young. When someone commented that Faye Wong didn\’t love her, she responded decisively: \”You are not me, how do you know that my mother doesn\’t love me?\” Although the two daughters still have a long way to go, their mother Faye Wong has laid the foundation for their lives. Sex is enough for them to learn how to face the good and evil in the world and choose their own way to grow up strong. Similarly, a weak and backward mother will also cause misfortune to her children. If the mother is a submissive person to her husband\’s violence, her daughter will naturally not know how to fight back when she encounters a rude man; if her mother preaches that \”it is better to marry well than to study well\”, the daughter\’s attitude towards learning and grasping life will also be negative; If a mother tolerates her husband\’s cheating marriage, it will naturally destroy her daughter\’s expectations for a beautiful love. Whatever the mother does, the daughter sees it. Even if some of them are bad, they will subtly become the daughter\’s initial judgment standard for future life. I remember once seeing a piece of news about a young boy who beat up his girlfriend on the street and was stopped by passers-by and sent to the police station. To everyone\’s surprise, the boy who was released on bail in the end was his girlfriend\’s parents. The reason was that the two were lovers and it was a family matter. When her daughter was bullied, the mother did not immediately step forward to rescue her daughter from her unfortunate relationship, but she thought it was just a family matter or even not a problem. How can such a mother who is accustomed to compromise in marriage pass on the correct view of emotions to her daughter so that her daughter can find her own happiness? In a TED speech, Yi Nengjing used the blood and tears of her first failed marriage to tell us the great influence our mothers have on us. Yi Nengjing\’s father always wanted a son, but her father left them after her mother gave birth to her seventh child, Yi Nengjing, and she could no longer reproduce. She always wanted to prove that she was as strong as her son. However, mothers like traditional Chinese women keep saying: \”It\’s my fault, it\’s my fault, I can\’t give birth to a son. Then, dad left, and dad was right. I didn\’t give birth to a son for your dad.\” .\” This concept has always deeply affected Yi Nengjing and also affected her marriage. She entered into her first marriage at the age of 18. Unlike Yi Nengjing, who comes from a poor family, her ex-husband Yu Chengqing comes from a well-known family. But this marriage did not receive the blessing of the husband\’s family. The two only got married secretly, with only a handful of family members attending the wedding. After marriage, Yi Nengjing once said publicly that since marrying into the Yu family, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been at odds. The Yu family\’s good family tradition allowed them to remain silent about Yi Nengjing\’s scandal in order to maintain a decent image. Therefore, Yi Nengjing has always been \”frustrated\” in her life in the Yu family. But she lasted for 22 years in such a \”frustrating\” marriage.How can a mother without self raise a daughter with strong self? (Yi Nengjing TED Talk) A boy will begin to recognize the role of women from the role of mother, and the type of his ideal wife will be similar to that of his mother. When he believes that his wife should unconditionally contribute to the family, tolerate all his demands, and fully take care of the children\’s life and study, while he only needs to earn a high salary at home, watch TV and play games at home, the new generation \” This is how \”widowed marriage\” was born. Every girl is a daughter, and every daughter has the potential to be a mother. The mother\’s level directly affects the happiness of her children and even the family. In fact, the mother\’s level has nothing to do with origin, family background, education, etc. It is most directly reflected in the mother\’s outlook on life. A mother\’s influence on her children\’s outlook on life lies not only in her words, but also in her \”exemplary teachings.\” The so-called \”teaching by example\” refers to a woman\’s own strength and ability to obtain happiness. A woman who has her own life, her own hobbies, and even her own career, and has her own fulcrum of life, will not be trapped in the identity of \”wife\” or \”mother\”, and will not lose herself and live a life she does not like. look. No matter what the situation is, mothers who insist on learning and growing can continue to bring freshness to the family and become the best role models for their children. Just like a kind and gentle mother will cultivate a considerate child; an optimistic and progressive mother\’s child will certainly not be easily pessimistic and disappointed in life. If you are excellent, your children will not be inferior either.