The more obedient a child is, the more miserable he will be when he grows up! Countless parents fell silent after watching this

Chen Xiao’s wife, Lily, has a master’s degree in the financial industry. Chen Xiao came to Beijing from his hometown specially to attend Lily’s graduation dinner as a family member. Most of Lily\’s classmates who are part-time graduate students have been employed for many years. Some have established their own companies, some have become managers, some have entered universities to engage in teaching, and some have become national civil servants… This made Chen Xiao, who was a guest in Beijing, very embarrassed, because Chen Xiao knew that he Although he also graduated with a master\’s degree, he was just an ordinary employee of a company. What makes him even more nervous is that as a guest in the eyes of his wife\’s classmates, the \”weakness\” of his work will be mentioned no matter what. He was thinking about it in his mind, and he made up his mind to say this, \”I am now engaged in the media industry. I often participate in XX exhibitions across the country, and often communicate with some well-known websites (ignoring the website name). I am currently serving as the reporter for the East China region. Task…\” This made the wife sitting next to her feel very embarrassed, because she knew in her heart that Chen Xiao\’s real job was just an ordinary employee, and there were no projects that needed to be undertaken. But in order to protect Chen Xiao\’s face, he did not explain his job in detail, but chose to change the topic. In fact, not long ago, Chen Xiao had a quarrel with his mother over work matters. His mother asked him to choose to take the civil service or career editor exam, but now Chen Xiao has long lost the intelligence of his student days and had to find a media agency. The salary is not high, but the work pressure is not small. While chatting, my mother said in a slightly mocking tone: It’s not embarrassing for you to earn such a salary as a graduate student! You see, XX is the same age as you, and his annual salary is already over 100,000 yuan… Chen Xiao\’s academic performance has always been good. When Chen Xiao was young, his parents always taught him to work hard, study hard, and develop in a good place in the future. And when Chen Xiao was determined to pass the exam and go to a distant place to develop, his parents went behind his back and filled out the schools in the province, because in their eyes, they were all the same schools, so why should he go to school in other places? When you graduate from college, go wherever you want. After graduating from college, Chen Xiao wants to work in a distant place because there are many more opportunities in big cities. But at this time, my parents\’ words were very firm: You are not allowed to go. It would be great to stay at home and take the civil service exam. What are the advantages of big cities? They are not as good as ours. Small cities are less stressful and you don\’t have to panic all day long. Back then, Chen Xiao struggled and resisted: Didn’t you teach me to get ahead since I was a child? Why should I be prevented from developing abroad? In this case, why did I need to work hard in the first place? I just hope that my life is a little extraordinary, even if it is only a little different from what you designed! The reason for parents is simple, because there is no way you can succeed. You are our child. Who else in the world knows you better than us? Some children completely lose their own ideas when they become adults. After years of indoctrination by their parents, they have gradually forgotten what kind of person they want to be. One netizen told Youma this way: going to school, graduating, working, getting married, giving birth, educating children, supporting the elderly, and then retirement and doing nothing. The consistent thing is aging – not knowing what you want.Such figures are like floating duckweeds, drifting down the river and gradually disappearing into the water, leaving not even a ripple behind. With the \”encouragement\” of his parents, Chen Xiao once took several civil service and professional examinations. At that time, he was still a little wild, and taking the exams was just to perfunctory his parents. But now, when he really wanted to settle down and find a secure job, time no longer existed, he had lost his dreams, and he had lost his ability to take exams. A graduate degree allowed him to insist on speaking tough words, and all that was left was his humble self-esteem, nothing more. where is the problem? Chen Xiao complained: \”My parents never know what I want. They only know that they put their own values ​​​​and dreams on them and force me to do things they think are good. I often feel very sad. I have no control over my life. When I want to struggle, my parents will get involved: Son, we are all people who have experienced more than you, listen to us, it is correct. In the end, I became what I am now, They said I didn\’t work hard.\” We used to worry that parents would regret not being involved in their children\’s growth for various reasons. Nowadays, Chinese parents are paying more and more attention to their children\’s education. From a starting point, this is a good thing. But some parents will also go to another extreme in their children\’s education, which is to be overly involved in every detail of their children\’s growth. Parents control every little thing about their children, allowing their children to enter the best elementary schools, junior high schools, and high schools, guiding their children to enter prestigious universities, and finally find a \”good\” job. Children who grow up in such a \”list-based\” childhood may be able to do well what their parents agreed to do, but in the end they forget about themselves. In this process, parents often play the role of \”angels who exercise rewards and punishments.\” They require their children to meet certain conditions. Getting further and further away, and gradually becoming a product of the will of the parents. In fact, all children become their own people at the beginning, but the parents have to shape their children according to their own will, so the children\’s will is suppressed, and they eventually lose themselves to varying degrees. Parents love their children because they have suffered losses and hardships before, so they do not want their children to follow the same path. However, children are not their parents after all. Moreover, times are changing, and the role of parents should also change. Cai Kangyong said, what is the most precious thing for children from parents? It is to give them an ideal environment and let them become themselves, rather than becoming the person we want to change.