The more willing you are to use your children, the more promising they will be! Don\’t believe it

Preface: Youma spent her childhood in the countryside. At that time, among a group of friends, there were two 10-year-old boys who were recognized as \”low-lifes\” because one of them liked steaming vegetable rolls and the other liked to drive a walking tractor. My friends, including many parents, all agree that when they grow up, these two guys are destined to do hard work and will never be successful! The little boy who liked steamed vegetable rolls had a nickname that was very characteristic of that era: \”Battlemaster\”. He is the youngest in the family, and he has several brothers and sisters. Whenever the \”battalion commander\” came home from school in the afternoon, the rest of the family had not returned from working in the fields, so the \”battalion commander\” started cooking, and what he cooked most was steamed vegetable rolls. He first washed and cut wild vegetables such as purslane, mixed them into stuffing, and then started kneading the dough in a large porcelain basin. Knead the dough, shape it into fist-sized balls, and then roll the dough into thin pancakes. Then spread the filling evenly on the dough, roll it up and flatten it slightly. The last thing is to steam it in a pot… Every time we go to the \”battalion commander\” to play, he almost always does this at home. Seeing him skillfully kneading dough, sticking out his buttocks to roll out cakes, and holding corn stalks to heat a big pot, we all said that he was simply an \”old woman\” who did all the work that only \”old women\” can do. Another boy who likes to drive a walking tractor is nicknamed \”Monkey\”. I don\’t know why his parents gave him such a name. But he lives up to his name. He is very active and wants to touch and see everything. He always likes to provoke others. His friends say he has \”cheap hands and claws\”. Please click here to enter a picture description. \”Monkey\” is very interested in all kinds of farm work and is simply born to do farm work. When the friends first learned to ride bicycles, \”Monkey\” could already drive the broken walking tractor at home. First, let his father start it with the crank, and then he can jump on it, skillfully use the clutch, shift gears, and turn… Whoever has a job of plowing fields or pushing manure, \”Monkey\” is willing to participate, even Come uninvited, just give snacks. At that time, my family had an orchard, so \”Monkey\” ran to my house the most often, because every time he helped to finish the work, my mother would give \”Monkey\” a meal and then let him take a big bag of apples home. . Everyone who has seen \”Monkey\” will predict the future of \”Monkey\” with confidence: This child is useless in studies, but he is very efficient at work. He will definitely be a good laborer in the future! After my friends grew up, they all went their separate ways. I went away to college, and the other friends also worked hard to manage their own lives. Everyone is very busy and there is little contact. The news about the \”battalion commander\” and \”monkey\” again came from my mother some time ago. The \”battalion commander\” later applied for military school and served as a soldier. It is said that he was highly appreciated by his leaders because he was able to endure hardship and was diligent. Now he is assigned to Wuhan, where he works at the airport and is responsible for logistics. He is a deputy battalion-level cadre and his salary is quite good. And \”Monkey\” is a manager-level person who sells luxury cars in Shanghai. Every year he drives a big Mercedes-Benz and takes his wife and children back to the village. And the friends who used to laugh at them are barely good people, just like me who got into college, Looking for a relatively stable job, they are often worried about salary, professional title and other matters; more people get married early and become a \”good laborer\”. The fact that \”Batalion Commander\” and \”Monkey\” got to where they are today is definitely not due to luck alone, it is definitely inseparable from their childhood experiences. Their busyness and hard work in childhood cultivated the characteristics of diligence and down-to-earth character; they shared housework with their family members in childhood, which made them understand their parents\’ hard work and understand others. Diligence, tolerance, and consideration are very important qualities in today\’s society, and they are also qualities that many children lack. Nowadays, many college students are particularly distressed when they first enter school. Because they are far away from their parents, they have to make their own beds, wash clothes, and clean shoes. For more than ten years before that, these things were all taken care of by the parents, and the children only needed to \”study hard and don\’t have to worry about anything else.\” Many college students\’ quilts and pillowcases are greasy and black if they are not washed for half a year. They never bother to wash their socks, so they buy more than 10 pairs and wear them… Not only do boys do this, but girls do too. When Youma was interning in the university psychological counseling room, she would meet many such college students. After they left their parents and entered a strange environment, they not only couldn\’t manage their own lives well, but they couldn\’t even interact well with their classmates. Almost all these children have one thing in common: their parents love their children very much and take full care of their lives. They are never willing to boss them around or let them do any housework. Many people know that it is not easy for college students to find a job now. But if you know their growth experience and their performance in college, you will know: in this state, they can\’t find a job. For a person, the feeling of \”being used\” and \”being needed\” is very important. This is the source of our self-confidence and self-esteem, and also our motivation to live hard. Think about the elderly people around you. Although their legs and feet are inconvenient, they always want to intervene when their children are doing housework. But their children often shout at them: \”Mom, just rest and relax. You are not needed. Don\’t interfere!\” Will the old people be very happy at this time? No, they definitely feel bad in their hearts, because not being needed means that others are saying to you: \”You are useless, we don\’t need you, and we don\’t really trust you!\” The same is true for children. Only by calling your child around from time to time and giving him some tasks within his capabilities can we stimulate the child\’s inner sense of responsibility and help him build good self-confidence. My daughter Xiaoyou has always taken out the garbage in my living room, because every time she took it out, I would encourage her dad and say, \”My child, you are amazing. Our house is much cleaner and tidier because of you. Mom and Dad will do it every day.\” I\’m in a good mood when I go home!\” At that time, I could clearly see the pride and confidence on my daughter\’s face. In fact, many parents, including Youma herself, always fall into a love misunderstanding: they love their children so much that they are reluctant to let their children do some dirty or tiring work. However, the ultimate goal of parents\’ love for their children should be \”separation\”: the purpose of our love for our children is to let them grow up independently and face the storms of the future with strength, not to stay with us, to be a \”giant baby who can\’t stop breastfeeding at the age of 30.\”