The most important ability to get along with adolescent children: two words

Last night, the eldest daughter was doing homework in the study room. I had about ten mosquito bites on my body and it was painfully itchy. He began to accuse his sister: \”My sister opens the window every day, causing me to be bitten by mosquitoes every day.\” Dad heard this, and began to blame his sister: \”How many times have I told you, I open the window screen every day when I come back, and never close it after opening it. \”With her father\’s support, the eldest daughter is even more energetic. She sticks her head out of the window every day to look outside and deliberately doesn\’t close it properly. The second daughter cried aggrievedly: \”I was wronged. I didn\’t open it at all yesterday. I ate pancakes when I got home.\” The father responded: \”It\’s not who you are. There are only four people in the family. No one else opens it, so you open it every day. I\’ve seen it several times.\” The second daughter read Mr. Wang Dingjun\’s \”Six Books on Composition\” a few days ago. One of them is \”reasoning\” and there is a chapter dedicated to evidence. The second daughter immediately used it: \”Get it for me. Come up with evidence, whoever sees me open it. \”That\’s what a good book does, you can use it after you learn it. Seeing that the second daughter would not admit it, the eldest daughter and her father decided that it was the second daughter who did it. My eldest daughter was suffering from itching, so I suggested applying some grass ointment because it smelled too strong. He was still saying that my sister was in trouble. I asked my second daughter to go back to the house and chat with my eldest daughter. Me: \”I have been bitten by mosquitoes a few times before. I have had this experience. The first thing I do when I come back is to check the windows and close them quickly to protect myself.\” Before these words could finish, my eldest daughter\’s emotions were completely ignited: \”What kind of society is this? Is there any royal law? Let the victim bear the responsibility for other people\’s faults. Have you ever heard of this logic?\” Me: \”My sister is wrong and she should bear the responsibility. She doesn\’t admit it now, and neither do we.\” Evidence, tomorrow she opens the window again, you are bitten again, and then you say it is her fault, and the cycle continues. Do you plan to continue to be bitten, or how to deal with it?\” The eldest daughter calmed down: \”I am a victim, I learn first. Protect yourself, check the windows first, and wear long sleeves. You must take care of your sister.\” The second daughter was crying, and she was sure that the windows were not opened today. And she suspected that her father had not closed it properly in the morning. I said, \”Mom, there is no evidence. You want to prevent being wronged. What should you do tomorrow?\” The second daughter quickly came up with a solution: \”I won\’t go to the study room tomorrow. I will do my homework in the room. No one can accuse me wrongly.\” In reality. In our family, it\’s all trivial things, but these trivial things can easily lead to emotional outbursts. When little things accumulate, the whole family is in internal strife. 02 The most important ability to get along with adolescent children is two words: facing. As the anchor of the family, I let everyone face their own problems. Our family has a rule: one-hour problem circle. If you encounter any problem, within an hour, everyone must sort out their emotional stuck points, face the problem, and propose a solution, so that everyone is clear. Of course, I am not born with this ability. I also improve my abilities through repeated learning. The book I read recently, \”Family Education, Love Is Not Enough\” written by Huang Qituan, a psychological investor and senior psychology tutor, proposes what is the key to family education and what is the real underlying logic? This book The underlying logic made me enlightened: Begin with the end in mind. Stand at the end and look at the starting point, think about what you really want in the future and what you should do today. When we stand at the end and look at the starting point, we will suddenly become enlightened, and our perspective on things and our viewpoints will be completely different. Looking at the future, what kind of life do we want our children to live? This book solves the confusion of parents and the future of their children. Over the years, I have communicated with many parents. In fact, parents love their children very much and want to help them. But what confuses parents is where should I start, especially since the child is a living individual, just like the weather in June can change at any time. We are especially easily confused by children\’s behavior and led astray by their emotions. This book is here to solve the confusion of parents. Through 9 psychology classes. Write the solutions to these problems clearly. How does the family affect a child\’s life? How does character determine destiny? What nutrients do children need to grow? How to improve a child\’s sense of self-worth? How to improve a child\’s ability to resist frustration? How to cultivate a confident child? Just like a child addicted to mobile phones, Addicted to the game. In fact, children are frustrated in real life and have no sense of value. In games, they realize their own sense of value. In the future AI era, the era where the college entrance examination determines destiny has passed. We don’t need to see our children graduate, just see that many college students are now unemployed after graduation. The army of people taking the postgraduate entrance examination may not necessarily be motivated by passion, but more likely by delaying employment. When we raise children, we must start from the underlying logic and cultivate a stable core in our children. It is certainly not an easy task to achieve this. Head Huang said: Family education is a huge project. We cannot look at it from a single perspective but should stand at a higher position, use a comprehensive perspective, start with the end in mind, and find some rules from it.