The most poisonous Chinese greeting gift, but my parents never tire of it

During the May Day holiday, I went back to my hometown to reunite with my parents, and it was inevitable to attend a relative gathering. But this time, my uncle’s 5-year-old daughter Shishi also came, adding a lot of fun to us. As soon as they met, some people started asking her to sing a song for everyone. Shishi had a shy smile on her face, looking at everyone without making a sound. Her mother lowered her head and whispered in her ear: \”Baby, I just taught a song in kindergarten. You can sing it.\” \”I don\’t think she can sing,\” her uncle pretended to be disgusted and said, trying to provoke him. Shishi’s brows wrinkled, but she still smiled. I felt a little distressed and tried to smooth things over by saying, \”Sing if you want to, and don\’t force yourself if you don\’t want to sing.\” \”She wants to sing,\” an elder answered. When I saw it was my mother, she looked expectant. Then everyone started to boo again, and finally, under the coercion and inducement, Shishi finally sang a piece, which was very cute and nice, and she always had a smile on her face. The adults started to drink and drink, and I couldn\’t eat it because I thought of myself while looking at the poems. Even now, the elders still ask for performances from time to time. I remember the first time I brought my boyfriend home, the elders insisted that he introduce himself in English, even though they didn\’t hear the same thing at all. He readily agreed, but I still felt incredibly embarrassed. This poisonous Chinese-style greeting gift has caused a deep psychological shadow on children no matter how old they are. Take a look at the experiences of netizens: @Kuma will also happily drop SAN today. As soon as someone comes, he will be called out to meet the guests quickly and carry one on his back. Poetry, playing the piano, singing a song, doing a dance, and then the guest took out the money, and the mother happily took the red envelope. This is not your child, this is a famous Qinhuai prostitute. During the Lantern Festival, my uncle asked me to paint under the 120-ring fireworks. Draw the moment when the fireworks explode. @红成黄绿蓝 Mat I am a student of traditional Chinese medicine. From the time I start eating to the time I finish eating, I have been performing pulse readings. I don’t have to worry about the table being full and I have nowhere to sit. @李智摑-I am a broadcaster, and when there are a lot of people, I will be booed and asked to host or recite poems impromptuly. I…@Emma\’s Crookshanks family gathering with relatives, my parents started saying: \”Come on and stand like a stewardess and smile.\” They couldn\’t laugh. @ Silent Kalingbinga remembered that when I was a child, I really had no talent. My father said: Come, son, learn how to bark like a dog for your uncles… He turned to his brothers and said: My son has learned how to do it… Cooperate. Dear parents, everyone who \”performed\”, thank you for your hard work. Growing up, in order to satisfy their parents\’ vanity, children rarely escape the clutches of performing in public. Of course, the mood of adults is also easy to understand. On the one hand, there is a cute and talented child in the family, and everyone wants to show off; on the other hand, parents think this is a good opportunity to cultivate their children\’s confidence and exercise their courage. However, for children, the experience can be downright toxic, especially those who are forced to perform. Being forced by their own parents to do things they don\’t like, young children will feel helpless, afraid, wronged, and anxious… They will become cautious, afraid of making mistakes, overly concerned about the evaluation of the outside world, and even have low self-esteem. Afraid to interact with others. Everyone can simply think about it from their perspective. If you were forced to perform in front of a group of leaders, who would you be?How does it feel? This is what children really feel when they are forced. Of course, from another perspective, children are different from adults. They are often more expressive than us. Research has found that children around 1 year old will show their \”ability\” by pointing to some objects and get responses and praise from their mothers. For example, they will point to the kitten and say \”cat\”, which does not mean \”look, that\’s a cat\”, but \”mom, look, I know it\’s called a cat\”. At the age of 4 or 5, children hope to gain recognition from others through their performance, thereby enhancing their \”sense of achievement.\” So should children be allowed to perform in front of relatives and guests? In fact, this question is very simple. Parents only need to remember 4 words: respect your child and treat your child as an independent person. He is related to you by blood, but he has his own will and thoughts. How to do it specifically: You first need to understand your child, whether he is a child with a strong desire to perform or a child who is not very expressive. Then, ask the child if he or she wants to perform. When the child wants to perform, create conditions for him, let him perform, and give feedback; when the child does not want to perform, do not force the child, let alone label the child as \”introverted\”, \”shy\” or \”not brave\” Label. Different children are different, some are willing to perform, and some don\’t; the same child is different at different times, sometimes wanting to perform, sometimes not. If they are willing to perform, it will bring us joy; if they are not willing to perform, it is not bad to be a quiet child. After all, everyone studies to enrich themselves and make themselves happy, not to show others.