The mother of three children collapsed on a Fuzhou flyover at 3 a.m.: Who saw the tears of the \”three-no woman\”?

A few days ago, there was a video that deeply resonated with many mothers. In the video, Ms. Zheng from Fuzhou collapsed and said to the police on the overpass: I am very troubled and depressed. If I had not called 110, I would have jumped directly from here… She became a policewoman after giving birth to her third child. A stay-at-home mother takes care of all the big and small things at home alone. One person often has to take care of three children and take them to school. The three children travel to three places. You have to keep up with their eating, drinking, and eating habits, and you won’t have any time to spare. She was like a top, spinning non-stop for this family. The children took up a lot of her time and energy, so she had no social interaction and no friends. She has paid so much and sacrificed so much, but her husband can neither understand nor care about family affairs. He is only busy with his own affairs and sometimes does not even answer the phone. The imbalance between giving and receiving, the fear of social disconnection and the lack of self-worth made her feel deeply inferior, lonely and helpless. Many mothers feel sad about this. One netizen said sadly that we have taken care of our families, but have lost ourselves, becoming \”three-no women\” who are despised by society and ignored by our families. What is a three-no woman? No understanding, no social interaction, no value. The plight of hiding in the family is the inner sorrow of many stay-at-home mothers. With a gentle pull, endless grievances and endless pain flowed from my heart and eyes. But who can understand? I once watched a video where the interviewer asked: \”What do you do?\” The man crossed his arms across his chest and proudly said: I am a professional manager. The interviewer asked again: \”Then what does your wife do?\” The man immediately frowned and said with disgust: \”She has no job. She is just a housewife. She cleans, washes clothes, cooks, picks up the children, and coaxes her every day. The children are sleeping…\” In his opinion, these are what a wife should do. When the interviewer finally asked the husband, \”What did you do after you got home from get off work?\” The husband spread his hands and said, \”Have a rest and lie down on the sofa and watch TV. Because I\’m really tired after a day\’s work.\” There is a line in \”Rouge Button\”: It\’s so difficult to be a woman. Even though I try my best, I still don\’t know why I still get through it. not good. This is one of the sources of pain for full-time housewives. Life is full of holes, and no one shares the joys and sorrows with you. Sometimes, what overwhelms a stay-at-home mother is not the physical fatigue, but the pain in her heart. Lu Linxi, a top student at Harvard, once met a young mother bringing her child to see a doctor in the orthopedic clinic of a hospital. This mother looks thirty years old, but due to lumbar muscle strain, her back is bent like an old woman. After the doctor completed the examination, he told her that there was nothing serious and that she should go home and rest more. After hearing this, the mother smiled bitterly, took the child\’s hand and walked outside. When she arrived at the entrance of the hospital, it was raining heavily outside. She took out her mobile phone and called her husband. Her husband told her impatiently that he was on lunch break and asked them to take a taxi home. After hearing this, the mother couldn\’t hide the disappointment in her eyes. Zhang Ailing said that men after middle age often feel lonely, because when he opens his eyes, he is surrounded by people who rely on him, but there is no one on whom he can rely. For a stay-at-home mother, the reality is that there are people in the house that she has to take care of, but she has no support for herself.umbrella man. She is a wife, a mother, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a cook, a handyman, an alarm clock, and a nurse. But no one talks about or understands the hardship and exhaustion of holding multiple jobs like this, and can only secretly blend it into the busyness day after day. Housewife @ Single Boat describes being a housewife as the graveyard of friendship. In the five years I have been working full-time, not only have I not made a single new friend, but some old friends have also drifted away. She used to have a sister group in college, which used to be lively and chatting about various topics. When she became a housewife, everything changed. She had endless housework to do and endless worries to worry about. After chasing the children to feed them for more than an hour, she was busy washing pots and pans in the kitchen for half an hour. When she took a break from her busy schedule and opened the group where messages were flying all over the place, she continued what she had said half an hour ago and wanted to continue chatting. But the topic has become cold, the energy has passed, and no one is paying attention. Sometimes she also wonders whether to take the initiative to pick some topics to talk about. But what can be discussed is that parents are short-lived. As for the latest lipstick? Or want to discuss the latest season’s clothes? She hasn\’t paid attention to her for a long time. If she really wants to go out, she can at most open the dressing cabinet and grab a lipstick and apply it casually. A friend once invited her to travel to Qingdao, but she couldn\’t leave because she wanted to breastfeed. Invite her to attend a classmate\’s wedding. She has to take care of her sick mother-in-law. She always said next time, but in the end, her friends stopped asking her out. Her only remaining one or two friends only rely on the topic of parenting to maintain their shaky relationship. Every time they wanted to talk more, the cries of the children and the mess in the kitchen quickly made them fall back into the trivial matters of life. Doing housework with your eyes open, crying with your eyes closed, in this cycle, friends gradually drifted away, and best friends were speechless. There is a passage in Li Yinhe\’s book that states that stay-at-home mothers are essentially Sisyphus-like torture: when things at home are dirty, you have to clean them. Like Sisyphus, who was punished in ancient Greek mythology, he had to push the boulder up the mountain for the rest of his life. He used all his strength to push it to the top of the mountain, and then the stone rolled down the mountain with a \”crash\”. Home is that boulder, and their children are also that boulder. They can only hold on to it. Stay-at-home mothers no longer have the freedom to socialize as they please, and they no longer have the leisurely leisure time to go shopping arm in arm with friends. These are all dreams. With their hands and feet pulled away, they looked around, shouldered their responsibilities, and lost their friends. In South Korea, there is a term used to demean stay-at-home wives, called: mommies. Bugs are weak, humble, and dependent on other stronger creatures for survival. There is contempt in this word. But how despised the bystanders are, how sad it is for those involved. It’s not that they don’t want to work, it’s that they are tied to their homes. Psychological counselor @fangyuan received a patient with depression. After giving birth to her baby, she chose to become a stay-at-home mother. But after raising her baby at home for 7 years, she completely fell out of touch with society. Apart from eating, sleeping, and taking care of children, I have no idea what kind of work I am qualified for, so I often fall into depression. Others show off their year-end bonuses and thrive in the workplace, but I am constantly consumed by housework and remain stationary. Engaged in decoration designFor her, the industry has undergone earth-shaking changes, but she was only a belated observer. The huge panic of being abandoned by society gnawed at her heart, leaving her confused and restless. Not only that, even if a full-time housewife finds a job again, it will be difficult. There is a joke in the HR circle that divides women in the workplace into three levels: married with two children = smoke bomb (no energy for work); married with one child = time bomb (a second child can be born at any time); married over 30 years old but without children. =Extraordinary time bomb (pregnancy + maternity leave for two children). Cheng Zhiwan, who has been engaged in pharmaceutical sales for many years, decided to return to the workplace when his children were in elementary school. But all of a sudden I ran into the iron wall of society, and all my application letters fell into disarray. Finally, she was asked to interview with a family, and she was asked two unexpected questions by her young interviewer: Will you have a second child? After being away from the workplace for so long, do you think you can still compete as a young college student who has just graduated? Later, she repeatedly lowered her threshold and finally entered a small company. At this point, the real ordeal begins. During meetings at work, she would often receive calls from her mother-in-law, saying that her child was crying and fussy, and her boss always looked at her with suspicion. When she got home, she was busy preparing materials, and her husband complained that she had left the child aside. regardless of. When a full-time housewife actually enters the workplace, she is a sinner at work and a sinner at home. Her bosses and colleagues thought she didn\’t do a good job, and her mother-in-law and husband thought she didn\’t take care of her family. Being labeled as a stay-at-home wife is like being branded as a good-for-nothing. They are despised by their families, abandoned by society, and live a hard life in the cracks. ▽Anne, a professor at Princeton University in the United States, pointed out the reality that no matter how hard women try, they cannot balance a successful career and a fulfilling family life at the same time. Yes, stay-at-home mothers often face a dilemma: no matter what you do, it seems to be wrong; no matter how you choose, you will eventually lose your choice. But let’s not forget that the option of being a full-time housewife is not for a particular woman, but for the entire family. We must overcome the mountain of prejudice, love them deeply, treat them well, and understand their thousands of sufferings and difficulties.