The mother\’s character, the child\’s life, it is very sad to meet this kind of mother, it will ruin the child\’s life

The meaning of mother is influence – Zheng Yuanjie. I like this sentence of Zheng Yuanjie very much, but many of my readers said: Why do you only come to ask mothers? In fact, this is not the case. When I say the influence of the mother and the importance of the mother, I do not deny the role of the father, just like you cannot deny the influence of the mother. Li Ka-shing once said this in an interview: I think the most successful thing about a man is not how good his career is, but marrying a good wife. If your father has a good wife, your childhood will be spent in happiness. If you find a good wife in the future, your middle age will be spent in happiness. If your son finds a good wife, your old age will be spent in happiness. Spend it moderately. It can be seen that the role and influence of women in a family are very important, but in real life not all mothers are worthy of the word \”mother\”. A good mother can achieve success for her children, but a mother with a bad personality can also \”ruin\” her children. 01丨The mother is selfish and irresponsible, ruining the life of her child. I have a neighbor. When his child was more than two years old, his wife left and ran away with others. In fact, most rural areas at that time were the same, poor. The wealth gap was not so obvious. At that time, the canteens did not even have bread or toys. After his wife ran away, the man and his son lived together for more than a year. Later, the man went to work in the city and brought back a woman from out of town. The arrival of this woman was the beginning of the boy\’s nightmare. This stepmother also had a hard time telling fortunes. She married from her hometown in Sichuan to Shanxi. After the marriage, she was always subjected to domestic violence, and her face was burned by her ex-husband. She left her son and daughter behind and ran away. Maybe because of her own misfortune, the stepmother vented all her emotions on the child. When he was less than five years old, the stepmother asked him to learn to cook. If he didn\’t cook, he would be beaten severely. In the most serious incident, the child\’s arm was beaten until the bones were misaligned. When he was 14 years old, he dropped out of school and went homeless, sleeping under an overpass. Later, a kind-hearted hotel owner took him in and asked him to help in the hotel. The salary only provides accommodation and three meals. That child should be in his twenties now, but he is away from home all year round and doesn\’t know what to do for a living. Every time I think of this child, I think: If the mother had not left, the child would not have become like this, but who can predict what did not happen? Later, when I watched \”Extreme Challenge\”, they came to Guilin to help left-behind children. The boy Zhang Yixing helped usually lived with his grandfather. His father worked in other places, and his mother ran away after giving birth to him. He had never seen his mother like that. Then when asked whether he had any resentment towards his mother and whether he missed his mother, the boy said that he missed his mother very much and even dreamed about her. Zhang Yixing chatted with Huang Bo and talked about this matter. Zhang Yixing criticized the boy\’s mother for being irresponsible. Huang Bo patiently explained: This matter is not absolute. Everyone has the right to choose. We cannot interfere and it is not easy to evaluate. . In fact, we have no right to criticize or accuse anyone. After all, everyone has the right to choose and decide how to live their own life. Just encountering such \”irresponsible\” mothers often leaves children with hurt and inner shadows that often take a lifetime to heal. 02丨Strong and unreasonableMy mother’s friend’s daughter has stopped going to school for a year. She usually watches her mobile phone at home after 11 o’clock, sleeps until noon and then gets up again. After eating, she only looks at her mobile phone and plays games, and refuses to communicate with her parents. Whenever he speaks, he gets very irritable and yells in various ways. My friend is very angry and often loses his temper at home and becomes hysterical because of the problem of his children not going to school, but to no avail. In fact, this phenomenon in children has a lot to do with friends. A few years ago, my friend and her husband were not in a good relationship. The two had been arguing for three to five years. During this period, the friend always vented the grievances between the couple on the child. One time I went to visit a friend on vacation. She was losing her temper with her child because the child knocked over the bowl. My friend started scolding and beating the child hysterically. While beating and scolding the child, he cried and hit himself. The child was so scared that he shivered next to her. trembling. I didn\’t understand it at the time, and I was very disappointed with her: Even if you and your husband have a bad relationship and quarrel, there is no need to take out your anger on the child! Afterwards, I chatted with my friend and tried to enlighten her. Unexpectedly, she looked indifferent: No matter what, I have to get angry anyway. Who let her be born in this family? This is their fate! Seeing that I couldn\’t persuade her, I stopped trying to persuade her. Later, my friend and her husband separated, and my friend often went to sleep in the dormitory at night, leaving her two children at home. Later, the couple went back and forth without getting divorced. In the past few years, their relationship got back together. Then in my friend\’s heart, she thought that the relationship between the couple was harmonious, and the children should also get better, but she never thought about it. harm to the child. Now that her child is not in school, she vents her grievances on her child. She even feels aggrieved: What else do you want me to do? I bought her a mobile phone, clothes, raised her, and took her on trips. I worked hard for these things, what else could I do? So now in the eyes of friends, these are the children\’s own problems, and they think it is the children\’s fault if they are disobedient. I am really speechless about my friend\’s personality: she is too strong and can\’t control her emotions. She thinks that others should revolve around her. Once others think differently from her, she often thinks that she has given a lot, and she feels that others are at fault. Then a lot of resentment will arise. Children are most afraid of meeting such a strong and unreasonable mother. She wants to control her children in everything and wants her children to follow her own ideas. Once the children are unwilling, they will feel aggrieved. Why shouldn\’t the children who have worked hard to raise them obedient? They often decide their children\’s path arbitrarily because of their own strength. A neighbor in my hometown is a single mother. She raised her daughter and her son alone, and both of her children went to college. She is a relatively powerful mother in rural areas. But one thing is that this mother is very strong. When her son had a girlfriend in college, the mother did not agree and threatened her son to break up with his girlfriend and let her son break up with his girlfriend and go on a blind date locally to find a partner, so that her son could stay with her. Up to now, her son Bensi is still single and has not found a partner. We are mothers, the ones who bring children into this world. Our words and deeds affect our children. Although not everyone is a perfect mother, after becoming a mother,Less must learn responsibility, tolerance and love.