The mother\’s pattern determines the height of the child\’s life

There is a sentence in \”Mother\’s Influence\”: \”A mother\’s influence on her child is like an uninterrupted force that will last throughout her child\’s life.\” Indeed, mother is the soul of a family. As the most important person in a child\’s life, the mother\’s vision and pattern determine the child\’s lifelong success and happiness. A truly big-minded mother will do \”three things she doesn\’t say, three things she doesn\’t help, and three things she doesn\’t get used to\” when her children are growing up. Not to mention Emerson\’s famous saying: \”Family is the land of the father, the world of the mother, and the paradise of children.\” The heart of every child is soft and immature, and a mother\’s light words are sometimes more powerful than a slap in the face. All hurt. A mother\’s mouth is the feng shui of a family. There are certain things that should never be said at home. 1. Don’t complain about your father. A blogger once shared her childhood past: When she was a child, her father unfortunately was laid off, and she could only do some odd jobs to make money to support the family. When I get home every day, my mother always complains that my father has no future and cannot make money, causing hardship to herself and her children. She would often quarrel and have a cold war with her father over trivial matters, always nagging and full of resentment. In the voice of mother complaining every day, the blogger became more sensitive and pessimistic. CCTV recommends over 500 excellent documentaries with high scores. After watching this, the child became addicted to self-discipline. Her only wish throughout her childhood was that she could go to a distant university and escape from this home. The most terrifying thing about a family is not poverty, but being full of \”family strife.\” If the mother often complains about the father, it will only lead to discord between the husband and wife, tense parent-child relationships, and constant conflicts. Children who grow up in such an environment will often be mentally and physically exhausted and walking on thin ice. 2. Don’t talk about attacking children. In the TV series \”Crazy\”, Gao Xiaochen grew up under the pressure of his mother Chen Shuting. Her son was wronged, but instead of comforting or empathizing with her, she scolded him: \”It\’s such a big deal, there\’s nothing to cry about!\” Gao Qiqiang praised his son for practicing piano well, but she disapproved and hit him: \”It took me a month to practice. How dare you say this!\” Over time, Gao Xiaochen became extremely proud and inferior, and he tried his best to prove himself, but in the end he made a big mistake. Words are the sharpest weapons. Those words may seem unintentional, but they are like bayonets, deeply hurting the child\’s heart. Philosopher James once said: \”The essence of human nature is the desire to appreciate, especially children. Appreciation can make children grow into towering trees, while belittling can make children wither and deformed.\” A well-organized mother knows how to cheer for her children. Because they know that appreciative eyes and firm applause are the biggest push for children to move forward. 3. Let’s not talk about crying poverty. I saw this scene in KFC: a mother sat opposite her son and watched her son eat. She kept muttering in her mouth: How much salary will your meal cost me? How much can a mother eat in one bite? I’m not even willing to eat it, I’m keeping it all for you! …The boy lowered his head deeply and chewed the food in his mouth silently. In life, we often see mothers like this – in order to make their children sensible and cherish their current life, they often cry to their children about poverty, complain about the hard work of making money, and how difficult it is for parents. Doing so will indeed make children more and more \”sensible\”, butAt the same time, it will make the child feel a strong sense of unworthiness. The kind of poverty and lack that grows from the bottom of the heart will slowly destroy a child\’s self-confidence and hope for life. After San Bu Gang became a mother, all mothers had a common problem: they always wanted to do their best for their children, for fear that they would not do enough. In fact, the best mothers often only achieve 60 points. Just like Suhomlinsky said: \”What children try to do when they grow up, they should be allowed to do it, and give children an environment for free development to help them grow better.\” If you have some help, help Instead, it harms the child. 1. Before I help you with your studies, there is a \”Don\’t Call Mom Equality Treaty\” that went viral online. The actual purpose of most contracts is to tell children: \”If you encounter problems while studying, please try to solve them yourself as soon as possible.\” However, I know a mother who is always on standby while her child is doing homework. One moment, I help correct homework, and the next moment, I explain the problem-solving ideas to the children. The original intention was to worry about the child\’s study, but over time, her son not only failed to improve his grades, but also formed a bad habit: when his mother was not around, he could not complete his homework independently. In the final analysis, learning is the child\’s own business. If the mother does everything by herself, it will stifle the child\’s initiative and consciousness in learning. Only by taking a step back and giving your child enough space to realize that learning is his own business will he learn to take responsibility for his own future. 2. Things that children can do independently without help. Today’s children are the treasures of their parents. How many mothers take care of their children\’s lives out of love for their children, fearing that their children will be tired. There is such a mother in \”The Boy Who Opened His Heart\”. She always feels that her son is still young, so she does everything for him. She feels that when the child is older, he will naturally be able to do everything. But the fact is that the boy is already 8 years old. He still doesn’t know how to use chopsticks. Every time he drinks yogurt, he spills it on himself. He even drops a cup on the floor… his life skills are basically zero. The hardest thing about being a mother is never how much love you give your children, but knowing how to let them try: when they are 3 years old, they can eat by themselves and put on their own shoes. At the age of 5, he can dress independently and do simple housework. I learned to cook and plan my time at the age of 10. At the age of 13, you can make your own decisions and learn to take responsibility. If you cultivate your child\’s independence as early as possible, your child\’s future will be more stable. 3. Don’t help children who can make their own decisions. People have to constantly solve problems throughout their lives. If a child always asks his parents for help when encountering problems, how can he fly high? Shao Yijia, a girl from Zhejiang, scored 719 points in the college entrance examination. In order to fulfill her dream of Peking University, she arrogantly refused admission to Tsinghua University. Parents applaud their daughter\’s choice. In their eyes, \”My daughter has been independent and independent since she was a child, and she doesn\’t have to worry about anything at home.\” From an early age, her parents have given their daughter the right to choose freely and encouraged her to make her own decisions. Her parents\’ respect and letting go helped her improve her ability to think proactively and solve problems, and she became more and more confident. Give children the right to choose, and they will dare to think and fight, and move towards a wider world with courage. The famous educator Ye Shengtao once said: The purpose of education is to cultivate habits. To some extent, habits canDetermine the fate of a person\’s life. Parents must not condone or pamper their children\’s bad habits. 1. I’m not used to seeing such news without any rules. A 12-year-old boy was addicted to mobile phones. After many attempts to persuade him failed, his mother decided to confiscate the mobile phone. Unexpectedly, the boy lost his temper and beat his mother on the street, constantly hurling insults at her. The child who had worked so hard to raise him waved his fist at her. This mother must be very disappointed. But as someone said in the comment section: \”At first glance, this child has been spoiled since childhood, otherwise he wouldn\’t be like this.\” Behind a child who is lawless, rebellious and difficult to control, there is often a pair of parents who are overly indulgent and soft-hearted. As the old saying goes: Three years old looks old, seven years old looks old. Mothers must set rules for their children as early as possible, and do not think that children can be spoiled because they are young. When educating children, we must let them know respect, obey the rules, and truly grow up. 2. I’m not used to eating too much and I’m too lazy to do anything. I once watched a psychological interview documentary. A 29-year-old boy wants to sue his parents for \”not supporting him\”. It turns out that the boy grew up in a poor family, but his mother doted on him. Other people\’s children help the family work in the fields, exposed to the sun and rain; he just lies at home, sleeps, plays games, and is lazy all day long. When he grew up, he always stopped working after finding a job for two days because he felt too tired, so he finally chose to go home and \”graze his old age.\” The father cruelly kicked his son out of the house and wanted him to fend for himself, but he took his father to court. Professor Li Meijin once said: \”Being spoiled is like killing a child, and pampering produces a rebellious child.\” The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! Children who have been lazy since childhood have long been accustomed to enjoyment. After entering society, they will find it difficult to endure hardships and hardships, let alone have a sense of responsibility and self-motivation. If you cannot feed your children for a lifetime, you must let them suffer a little, sweat a little, and do more housework. 3. Mothers must have their own principles if they are not used to educating their children. You absolutely cannot become soft-hearted or compromise when your child starts acting up and crying. Tiger mother Yu Jinguo, who sent a pair of children to Harvard, mentioned when talking about her youngest son: This child has been troublesome since he was a child. He is naughty, lazy, and has a three-minute enthusiasm for doing things. Every time I practiced the piano, I would either act like a fool and not practice; or I would sit in front of the piano and play randomly, trying to get by. But she didn\’t get angry, let alone compromise. Instead, she firmly told her son: \”Practice on time, and you can watch your favorite animation after it\’s over; if you cheat and don\’t practice, you won\’t even think about watching animation this week.\” In this way, her son gradually changed his mind. I got rid of my bad habits and became more and more self-disciplined. Mothers must learn to firmly reject their children\’s unreasonable demands and let them understand the principles and bottom lines of adults. Don\’t let your temporary indulgence ruin your child\’s life. Writer Munir Nasuf once said: Mother is the first school in life for her children. Mothers not only play the role of nurturing and caring for their children, but also affect their children\’s personality development and destiny due to their different parenting styles. If the mother talks well, the child will have a smile on his face and the home will be filled with sunshine; if the mother knows how to let go, the child will become independent and full of courage to overcome obstacles.Only when a mother disciplines her children cruelly can they grasp the steering wheel of life and steadily step onto the racing track. Like it, be a big-picture mother, and guide your children to their own vast mountains and seas.