\”The New King of Comedy\” hides the smartest type of parents: those who are willing to let their children be frustrated

Life is never \”easy\”. We love our children. In addition to protecting them from wind and rain, we should also teach them to accept reality calmly and embrace setbacks. Rumeng, the character in the Spring Festival movie \”The New King of Comedy\”, looks ordinary but dreams of becoming an actor. For this reason, she endured ridicule, ridicule and disapproval, and she continued to play small roles for more than ten years. There is no talent or intelligence, nor is there a good family background. Rumeng just works harder than others and has a better mentality than others. In the past ten years, in order to make a living, she even worked as a nude substitute and acted as a corpse. When everyone discouraged her and no one gave her even a word of encouragement, her parents still often visited her on the set. When the director scolded Rumeng, her father went straight to scold the director; if Rumeng couldn\’t get her lunch box, her father went to help her fight for it. Such a father complains that his daughter is ineffective, but in action he supports her from afar and protects her silently. He watches his daughter be frustrated and wronged time and time again, but he always accompanies her to stumble on the road to realizing her dreams. Parents love their children and have far-reaching plans. Wise parents, on the other hand, never regard the current doting and doting as love for their children, because they take a long-term view and are always worried about their children\’s future. This account is actually not difficult to calculate. Just think about it, is it more important if a child is frustrated for a while, or is it a lifelong failure? Rather than giving a child a fish, it is better to teach him how to fish; to give a child protection is worse than teaching him to correct his mentality, face limitations, and get up with a smile when he falls. Every time I see Rumeng being bullied and bruised, I feel anxious for her. Fortunately, she can stand up with a smile every time; fortunately, her mantra is \”As long as you don\’t surrender, you will succeed\”; fortunately, she finally realized her dream and became the most dazzling best actress in the spotlight. At the end of the film, Rumeng said to a fan: You have no hope. You will have no hope until the moment the universe is destroyed. But don’t believe it, if you like it, just stick to it! What\’s this? This is the mentality of accepting setbacks calmly. This is reverse quotient! If emotional intelligence is the ability to get along with others, then reverse intelligence is the ability to reconcile with oneself. Adversity Quotient is a concept proposed by American vocational training guru Paul Stotts. Its full name is Adversity Quotient, or AQ for short. It refers to the way people react when facing adversity, that is, their ability to face setbacks, get out of trouble, and overcome difficulties. Ji Xianlin pointed out in his autobiography \”A Hundred Years of Ups and Downs\” that a person must handle three relationships well when living in the world: the relationship between people and nature; the relationship between people; and the contradiction and balance of thoughts and feelings in the individual\’s heart. relation. If you think about these three relationships carefully, they actually refer directly to IQ, emotional intelligence and reverse quotient. A highly praised question on Zhihu: \”What is the biggest setback you have ever encountered? How did you overcome it?\” This is obviously a difficult question, and the answers basically fall into three categories. The first category describes those who are physically disabled or seriously ill, the second category describes those whose families are broken up or a close relative has passed away, and the third category describes those whose careers and studies are at a low point with no way out. Happy people are all similar, but unhappy people are each unhappy in their own way. One message in the answer was particularly inspiring, \”No matter how fatal a blow life gives me, I still know what I will do next.\”What should be done?\” Isn\’t that right? Who\’s life is destined to be smooth sailing without bumps and tumbles? Self-healing after being hit, and resurrecting with full blood after crying, are the ultimate skills needed in life. So, be smart Since we know that it is impossible to protect our children from all suffering and setbacks, why don’t we let our children develop the ability to reconcile with themselves from the very beginning? Last year’s “Xi’an Jiaotong University doctoral student Yang Baode’s suicide” incident aroused public opinion War. Netizens generally believe that since he has a Ph.D., there is no doubt about his high IQ, but he chose to commit suicide because he was \”squeezed\” by his mentor. His mental endurance is too weak. Netizens criticized Yang Baode verbally, but few Pay attention to his own limitations. Yang Baode was born in a backward small mountain village, his family is poor, his character is weak, and he is not good at rejection. In the process of getting along with his tutor, he once showed a tendency of depression, but he still did not refuse or express , do not talk. On the road of growth, whether it is academic or career, parents are unable to give a lot of help. This is a limitation faced by most children of this generation. However, the cultivation of good character is what parents should focus on and guide. . It is a pity that we often eagerly let our children pursue success and spend a lot of money to enroll them in classes to develop their intelligence, but we neglect to teach children to learn to understand their own limitations, and forget to tell them that you must experience failure in your life, and you should be calm when the time comes. Face it. UNICEF global statistics show that the global average suicide rate among teenagers is 10 per 100,000, and suicide has become the fourth leading cause of death among teenagers internationally. A relevant report from the China Women\’s Federation tells us that China\’s suicide rate is 2.3 times the international average. , among which the suicide rate among adolescents (5-24 years old) accounts for nearly 30%. Every child lives under the pressure of parents to hope that their children will succeed and their daughters will succeed, lives in comparison with other people’s children, and lives in the pursuit of goals and ideals. In the pursuit of success, is it difficult? It is really difficult! But only children with high adversity quotient will not give in to difficulties easily. They are confident and courageous, and will take the initiative to change the status quo when encountering setbacks. Personality, family, educational background, etc. Many of our own limitations limit personal development to a great extent, but this is not our fault. The first thing we can do is to recognize ourselves and achieve self-breakthrough. Smart parents know how to be willing to let go at the right time. The child is in a difficult situation and faces it together with the child. The reason why the movie \”The Pursuit of Happyness\” (The Pursuit of Happyness) has been popular for a long time is because it portrays an imperfect but very real life to us. The male protagonist Ke Reese\’s life seems to have been in adversity. His work has been hit by obstacles, and his family has fallen apart. He was so poor that he took his son, who had just entered kindergarten, to look for a place to live. Even though he could only spend the night in a subway toilet, Chris still did not infect his child with his bad mood. , he creatively led his children to play games. With such a father, the children will unconsciously develop the courage to survive in adversity and will always be full of hope for life. Because adversity is not a big deal, everyone will encounter it. Yeah, it\’s just a small part of lifeJust a stage. On the road to pursuing happiness, if you encounter a storm, as a parent, if you only have one umbrella, will you use it to protect your children from the wind and rain? Most parents would say, of course, the child is their biological child. Have parents ever thought about rushing into the rain with their children and experiencing the world outside of sunny days together? The very popular cartoon \”Peppa Pig\” has a similar scene. Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig often accompany their children to jump in mud puddles after the rain. Although it is a bit dirty and uncomfortable, and the clothes are difficult to wash afterwards, But this is an opportunity for parents to integrate into their children\’s world. Only by experiencing the world with our children can we see the world from their perspective, so that we don\’t become the stubborn, domineering, \”you never understand me\” parents in their children\’s eyes.