The poor raise a son and the rich raise a daughter? The Germans say it’s better to raise them like this

Ever since I had a child, I have been constantly hearing people discuss the topic of whether children should be raised poor or rich. There are constant comments such as \”boys should be raised poor, girls should be rich\” and \”all people should be raised rich\”. In fact, I have always felt that the black and white concept of supporting the poor and supporting the rich is too one-size-fits-all. In my opinion, there is no such thing as being poor or wealthy, there is only decent care. Let me tell you a story. What I just experienced was very touching. A few days ago, I was a guest at a German mother\’s house. Her son, Xiao T, had been playing very enthusiastically with Youyou recently. They were reluctant to leave her after school every day. They said goodbye five or six times and still couldn\’t separate. The first time I went to Little T\’s house, the spacious and bright house and the big garden felt different from the impression Little T\’s mother had left on me before. In my impression, Little T’s mother has always been a person who lives her life on a budget. Whenever there is information about the second-hand market for children’s products, she will send it to the group and invite a few mothers to go shopping for second-hand goods. Little T’s father works as an auditor in the Big Four. He is very busy at work and travels frequently. But since you are working as an auditor in the Big Four, your income is certainly not low in Germany. Because Little T’s mother gave birth to her second child last year, she plans to return to her original position as an accountant after her second child turns two years old. When Youyou and I were guests at Little T\’s house, Little T\’s mother happened to receive a parcel, which was Little T\’s hat, scarf, and coat. I took advantage of this opportunity to chat with Little T\’s mother about the topic of her child\’s clothing. This is also one of the favorite topics among German mothers. Everyone will share with each other wherever there is discount information. I said: \”The color of the hat and scarf matches the color of the coat! It\’s great! Yoyo has a coat, but I haven\’t been able to find a scarf and hat that match it. She also has a lavender purple hat. I like lavender very much. I bought it because of Zi, but I have never had a coat that matches the color of it. It has been more than a year since I bought it and I have never worn it… It is not easy to buy a set of hats and scarves that match the color of the coat.\” No. Thinking that I had opened up little T\’s mother\’s chat box, she nodded repeatedly: \”I agree so much. Little T has a yellow and green coat. I liked it very much and bought it. After that, I want to buy a set of hats that match the color of the coat. The color of the scarf should be similar to the green or yellow on the coat. But I spent a few weekends and ran through children\’s clothing stores in Cologne and couldn\’t find this green or yellow hat and scarf! It\’s not available online either!\” \”Ah, then you What should I do? Return the coat? Or just wear a hat of another color?\” I asked curiously. \”Currently I can only make do with a set of dark blue hats and scarves. But I don\’t like the incongruous colors! I went to several cloth shops to find this green and yellow cloth to make myself. I was very lucky. Well, I actually found a piece of cloth with a pattern made up of these two colors! You know Denise likes to make clothes, right? I gave the cloth to her and asked her to make it for me.\” \”I know, Yoyo\’s aunt and grandma. I also particularly like making clothes. Many of Yoyo’s clothes, scarves and hats are made by them. I often go to them to customize styles, fabrics and colors. And I know that making clothes in Germany is not cheap at all, it is more expensive than buying clothes. .\” I replied. \”Yes, buyCloth is more expensive than buying clothes, plus the labor and time invested, the price is several times that of ready-made clothes. \”After listening to the story of little T\’s mother, my first reaction was, \”She has so much time! ”, actually spending so much time and energy on her son’s clothes. This is a reflection of the exquisite life of the Germans. My second reaction is that little T’s mother, who usually likes to shop for second-hand goods, for the sake of color matching, Don\’t you think it\’s contradictory to spend several times the price to customize hats and scarves? Germans are so \”contradictory\”! You say they raise their children richly, and they often buy second-hand clothes, supplies, and toys. Many German mothers say, Children\’s clothes become dirty and become smaller after a short period of wear. Why buy such expensive new clothes? Once, I accompanied a client from China to a children\’s clothing store in Germany to buy gifts for their children. Halfway through the shopping, we realized that the clothes were In a second-hand store, the Chinese boss immediately threw away the things in his hands with a look of disgust on his face. He was afraid that he might be infected with some bacteria or virus, and fled the store at the speed of light. He also complained that I didn’t tell her earlier. Haha, this is the difference between China and the West. Germans cherish their items. Although they are second-hand items, they only sell them if they look relatively new, presentable, and have been cleaned and disinfected. I can’t tell that they are second-hand at first glance. In fact, The market for second-hand children\’s products in Germany is particularly active. Flea markets are held in kindergartens and primary schools every spring and autumn. Parents rent a small table to sell clothes, toys, picture books, etc. that their children no longer need. The flea market is for their children. Most Germans don’t mind buying second-hand. The flea markets are often crowded, and if you go late, all the good stuff will be robbed. But I don’t seem to have seen Chinese people in the flea markets. You say they are poor, and they are special. I am willing to buy it for my children! I buy food, clothing, and toys in piles, so that my children will not feel lacking at all. Germans believe that a person’s clothes must fit and be timely, even for babies and children. Don’t wear sizes and Clothes and shoes of wrong colors must be matched with different clothes and shoes for different occasions. Sportswear, casual clothes, party clothes, outdoor waterproof clothes, indoor clothes, and pajamas are all indispensable. Otherwise, you will be careless and inappropriately dressed. Youyou’s Kindergarten It rained in the middle of both events. However, Germans will not cancel outdoor activities just because it rains. The children put on waterproof clothing, rain boots and hats and continued to play in the garden. German parents stayed in the wind and rain Keep talking and laughing… Germans believe that there is no weather that is not suitable for children to play outdoors, only the wrong clothes. If you wear the right clothes, you can play outside in any weather. Outdoor waterproof and windproof clothing like this is standard in Germany. Wear thicker ones in winter and thinner ones in spring and autumn. The snowier it is, the more you need to go out and play. Books in Germany are very expensive, and the law stipulates that you cannot discount them casually. Books on Amazon in Germany are always at the original price no matter when you buy them throughout the year. , and children’s picture books can easily cost 10 euros each. But even so, most Germans are still not reluctant to buy picture books. The German homes I have been to have piles of picture books. Maybe it’s because they have long been aware of the high prices of books. You should take it for granted. The whole people have already had the awareness to pay for knowledge. NowThis trend is also developing in China, and our books have become more and more expensive in recent years. . . Not all toys should be bought second-hand, especially on children’s birthdays and Christmas, the two most important days of the year. On this day that the two children have been waiting for for a long time, Germans will buy new toys for their children as surprise gifts (think about how strange it is for Santa Claus to give second-hand toys to children?), and expensive and large gifts will be left behind. Delivered on these two days. Of course, you can\’t give second-hand gifts to other people\’s children for their birthdays. Many children invite a dozen or so children to celebrate their birthdays. Together with the gifts from parents and elders, the toys collected in one day are enough for half a year. Therefore, German children mostly receive new toys on birthdays and Christmas. It has to be said that German parents’ view of raising the poor and raising the rich is very consistent with the “practical” values ​​that the Germans have always upheld and practiced, and everything is based on reality. Germans value their own feelings more than the \”style\” in the eyes of others. It doesn’t matter whether it is a famous brand or second-hand, as long as it is easy to use. It is more important for children to wear well-fitting and well-matched clothes than to wear famous brands. What the Germans call \”poor raising\” is not to make children feel deprived, but to use as little money as possible to buy equally high-quality products (such as discounted or second-hand goods). But the premise is that quality is not sacrificed. If they have to choose between quality and price, Germans would rather spend more money on high-quality products (such as Little T’s mother’s customized scarves and hats) than make do with low-priced products. . Germans essentially raise their children richly. Parents will try their best to meet their children\’s reasonable needs, but they must do what they can and not do anything beyond their capabilities. Wealth does not mean blindly providing children with famous brands, famous schools, cars, and mansions. Money may not necessarily buy taste and happiness. True enrichment is spiritual enrichment. Of course, children\’s basic material needs must be met, but we must also learn to see children, care about children\’s psychological needs, nourish children\’s hearts with love and understanding, and help children become secure, mentally healthy and spiritually rich people.