The Prisoner\’s Dilemma of the Lower Class Families (an in-depth article)

The writer Ji Gengyu once told a story. Ten years ago, my parents opened a tile store. At that time, people in the city were renovating their suites and people in the country were renovating their own houses, so the demand for ceramic tiles was huge. Logically speaking, as long as they make a solid living, they can reap this wave of dividends. But not long after, their tile store went out of business. What\’s the reason? The couple quarreled at every turn. Ultra-HD 1080P Mandarin Disney Movies and Cartoons Complete List of 85 Movies Once, my father wanted to sell it to an acquaintance at a small profit. My mother reprimanded him face to face and said, if you do this, it is better to close the business directly. Another time, because they were angry, they accidentally remembered the wrong type of tiles, and the customer canceled the order in anger. With their minds focused on the argument, their tile shop was quickly deserted. This reminds me of a concept: the prisoner’s dilemma of low-income families. Family members not only fail to provide emotional value to each other, but also consume each other\’s energy, causing the family to be stuck at the bottom for a long time. The family is uneasy and all the wealth is lost. Once a family falls into internal strife, it is difficult to prosper. There is a plot in Yan Zhen\’s \”Canglang Water\” that impressed me deeply. The protagonist Chi Dawei gave a gift to his boss, but accidentally said the wrong thing. His wife disliked him because \”a dog\’s mouth cannot spit out ivory\”. He tried hard to get a place for his son in kindergarten, but in the end he failed, and his wife kept accusing him of being incompetent and cowardly. No matter what he does, his wife will criticize him, and Chi Dawei becomes frustrated. Does this scene sound familiar? Even, we are the protagonists in it. While your wife is busy with the family, you not only pretend to be blind, but you also often show off your face. When your husband\’s business failed, instead of comforting him, you made sarcastic remarks. Harvard psychologist Daniel once said: Family life is the first school where we learn emotions. But how many people fail to learn this lesson. When family members are at odds with each other and pass on negative energy to each other, it is easy to drag the whole family into trouble. British healing guru David Barney shared a case. There is a family of four. The father is a domestic abuser and the mother is an alcoholic. The two never talk well, and they always accuse and abuse each other. The relationship between the two daughters is also very tense. They would fight over a piece of clothing. During a fight, the elder sister stabbed the younger sister with a fruit knife. In the end, it ended with the whole family being separated. Their father disappeared inexplicably and their mother was crazy. The two sisters interrupted their studies early and wandered at the bottom of society. Many times, a family\’s tragedy stems from internal strife among family members. The millstones of life are already heavy, and if family members continue to put pressure on each other, everyone will be crushed. There’s a saying these days: running a family is like running a business. If the responsibility and anxiety are placed on one person, various problems will arise. Only by dividing labor and cooperating with each other, and working together to overcome difficulties, can the small boat of the family sail into the wind and rain to a farther future. When Wang Gungwu, the former president of the University of Hong Kong, and his wife Lin Pingting were studying in the UK, they had no plans to have children. But the wife suddenly became pregnant. This time, the arrangement of the two of them was disrupted. On the one hand, they are not ready to be parents; on the other hand, they are not working yet. Faced with such a problem, they did not get into trouble, but worked together toDiscuss how to solve it. My wife bought a book on raising babies to study and learned some pregnancy knowledge through various channels. While Wang Gungwu was preparing his thesis in the hope of winning a scholarship, he was also looking for a job to relieve his family\’s financial pressure. The two worked together to safely complete the important event in life of giving birth to a child. Home is always a matter of two people, and it is difficult for one person to survive alone. Living under the same roof, family members can only run the family well if they each perform their duties and work hard in one place. The family carriage requires the whole family to plan the direction and pull the carriage in the same direction in order to run fast. The poet Yu Guangzhong and his wife Fan Wocun were not favored at the beginning of their relationship. But the two still entered the marriage hall and faced the problems of life together. Yu Guangzhong was not only busy teaching at the university, but also working hard to publish poetry collections to earn royalties and royalties, providing a stable source of income for his family. Fan Wocun took the initiative to take on all the housework and kept the house in order. The two do not let each other worry about each other, nor interfere too much with each other, and work together to run a good family. What really determines the temperature of a home is the way family members get along with each other. If they tear each other down, the family will collapse; if they build it together, life will prosper. When husband and wife work together, shoulder important tasks together, and share chores together, there will be no obstacle that cannot be overcome or disaster that cannot be overcome. In his book \”Intimate Relationships\”, Roland Miller proposed the theory of interdependence. There are two reward values ​​we all want from our families. One is material value, that is, the material protection provided in life; the other is emotional value, that is, whether getting along can bring pleasure and a sense of accomplishment. In a family, whether one person can provide emotional value to the other largely determines the success or failure of a relationship and the rise or fall of a family. After Lai Shengchuan and his wife Ding Naizhu got married, they decided to study together at the University of Berkeley in the United States. To study for a Ph.D. in Berkeley, the tuition fee for a year is several thousand dollars. They used all their savings and financial support from their families to barely cover the tuition and fees. Just as the two were starting a new life, they encountered an accident – their money was taken away. The two mistakenly trusted a friend and gave the other party money to take care of, hoping to earn some interest every month. As a result, two months later, the friend disappeared with all their savings. When Lai Shengchuan felt panic and anxious about this, Ding Naizhu smiled and comforted him: Now we have to find a way to make money by ourselves. In the following decades, Ding Naizhu stood unswervingly beside Lai Shengchuan. When she graduated with a master\’s degree, she was already pregnant and refused the school\’s invitation to study for a Ph.D., taking on the dual responsibilities of childbirth and work, just to allow Lai Chuansheng to complete the next three years of the Ph.D. program with peace of mind. She is willing to hide her own light and silently support Lai Shengchuan\’s career from behind. Lai Shengchuan said this more than once: \”In my heart, my wife always comes first.\” Life is full of twists and turns and obstacles, but with the strong backing of our family, we have the courage to continue step by step. You understand my hardships, and I understand yours. As long as the two of us support each other, we can make a fortune no matter how poor or difficult it is. ▽In Buddhism, there is a bird called the co-ming bird, one female and one male, sharing one body. They advance and retreat together, share honor and disgrace together. Isn’t it like this among family members?. If people\’s hearts are united, everything can be accomplished; if people\’s hearts are harmonious, then the family\’s fortune will be prosperous. Like it and share it with your friends.