The psychological rules you need to understand when educating your children, collection

To educate their children, parents must not only devote all their love, but also have correct and scientific education methods. Many parents only rely on their own feelings to educate. Although they devote a lot of energy, in many cases the results are counterproductive. In fact, when children have problems, in most cases there are problems with their parents’ education. Instead of correcting their children\’s problems, parents should change themselves first. Clever use of these five psychological laws will put your education on the right path. 01 Butterfly Effect: A small amount of encouragement may allow a child to achieve great things; if a child has a small problem, if left alone, it may lead to a big mistake. Butterfly effect: A bad, tiny mechanism, if not guided and adjusted in time, will bring great harm to society; a good, tiny mechanism, as long as it is guided correctly and after a period of hard work, will create a sensation effect. In 1963, American meteorologist Lorenz published a paper in \”Atmospheric Science\”: A butterfly in the tropical rain forest of the Amazon basin in South America occasionally flapped its wings a few times. Due to the mixing of various other factors, a tornado was caused in Texas, USA, two weeks later! Butterflies flapping their wings can promote changes in the air system and produce weak air movement. The generation of weak airflow will cause corresponding changes in the surrounding air or other systems, which will cause a series of subtle chain reactions, eventually leading to changes in the system. As the ancient Chinese wisdom says: a slightest error can lead to a thousand miles of error. How parents should educate their children – a complete set of 10 children\’s education mobi + epub + azw 3 Every word and deed of parents in daily life, the way they handle everything, the answers to every question of their children… may all have an impact on them. A child\’s life. If parents want to educate their children well, they should pay attention to their words and deeds at home, encourage their children more, use more positive language and less negative language. For example, one day, you accidentally say to your child: \”You are stupid enough.\” Such a sentence may really make the child give up learning mathematics completely, resulting in poor grades in the college entrance examination. It is also possible that your compliment: \”You are suitable for singing\” will be remembered by the child, so that the child will go further and further on the road of music. In education, the butterfly effect is still very common, so education is no small matter. Parents should observe carefully during family education, not only to discover what their children are good at, and provide support and encouragement, but also to discover hidden problems in their children, and provide timely guidance to improve them. 02 Rosenthal Effect Positive expectations will make people develop in the desired direction. The Rosenthal effect believes that teachers\’ expectations are transmitted to students explicitly or implicitly, and students will shape their behavior in the direction expected by teachers. One day in 1966, American psychologist Rosenthal and others conducted a famous experiment. They came to a primary school and selected some students from each grade to take the \”Future Development Trend Test.\” The experimenter handed over the list of students with the \”most promising prospects\” to the principal and teachers. Eight months later, Rosenthal and his assistants retested the students on the list, and the results were surprising.Signs appeared: all the students on the list of \”most promising\” have made great progress in their grades, have lively and cheerful personalities, have self-confidence, are curious about knowledge, and are more willing to deal with others. In fact, this list is not determined based on the test results, but randomly selected. It is an \”authoritative lie\” to imply the teacher. When children are in primary school, their understanding of themselves often comes from the opinions of people around them, especially their teachers and parents. Therefore, in education, teachers and parents should encourage children more and give them more positive comments, which is of great benefit to children\’s growth. 03 Threshold effect: When you want your children to achieve a goal or develop a habit, you should proceed step by step. In our daily life, this phenomenon often occurs: when you ask for help, if you make a higher request at the beginning, you will easily be rejected; if you make a smaller request first, and then reach a consensus before Increasing the weight of requirements makes it easier to achieve goals. In fact, when a person accepts a small request, it is possible to accept a larger request to maintain image consistency. Psychologists call this phenomenon the threshold effect. The threshold effect was formally proposed by American social psychologists Friedman and Fraser in 1966. The experimenters conducted an experiment: they asked assistants to go to two residential areas and persuade the residents to put up a large placard with \”Drive Carefully\” written in front of their houses. In the first residential area, the assistants made this request directly to the residents, and only 17% of the requested people were willing; in the second residential area, the assistants first asked the residents to sign a petition to support safe driving. It was a small request, and almost everyone complied with it. A few weeks later, they were asked to put up placards again, and the number of recipients actually accounted for 55% of those asked. Again, this rule is often used in home education. For example, parents and their children should discuss and set various goals. Don\’t set the goals too high. If the goals are too high, it will be difficult for the children to achieve them. You can first discuss and set a small goal. After the child reaches it, the parents will encourage him a little and then discuss it with him. Set a higher goal and he will easily accept it. Even if a child has a big goal in mind, it is best to divide the goal into several small goals and then achieve them one by one. This will make it easier to achieve the goal. For example, if you set rules for your child or hope that your child will develop a certain habit, it is impossible for your child to get it right in one step. You have to do it step by step and let your child change little by little and slowly reach the standard. 04Desi Effect Too many external rewards will reduce children’s internal learning motivation. The Desi effect believes that moderate rewards are conducive to consolidating an individual\’s intrinsic motivation, but excessive rewards will reduce an individual\’s interest in the thing itself, that is, it will reduce his or her intrinsic motivation. Psychologist Edward Deci conducted a psychological experiment in 1969. He divided randomly selected college students into two groups and played a building block game called Soma. This kind of toy can be assembled into different shapes, making it very challenging when playing with complex shapes. Two groups of students had to spend about half an hour playing with the toys as prescribed. No.One group was told that they would earn a dollar for each shape they formed based on the pattern on the paper. In 1969 prices, this was a lot of money for students. Another group of students received no reward. Half an hour later, the experimenter told everyone: \”Please wait a moment, I will go out for a few minutes to print out the relevant questionnaires, please fill them in.\” In fact, he did not print out the questionnaires after he went out, but looked at the activities in the room through the secret observation hole. It turns out that students who can earn a dollar for putting together a shape basically stop playing. But those students who did not receive any reward were unable to stop and used these building blocks to create many unexpected shapes. In this experiment, external rewards actually reduced students\’ interest in assembling building blocks, which also reduced their internal motivation. In family education, parents should pay special attention to the Desi effect. In the lower grades of primary school students, because their cognitive level is still limited, most of their learning motivations are external motivations and they need appropriate rewards, but not too frequently. As the child grows older, when the child develops internal learning motivation, that is, becomes interested in learning itself, parents should reward less to avoid converting the child\’s internal learning motivation into external motivation. Occasional rewards should also be things that are helpful for learning, such as books, stationery, etc. 05 South Wind Effect Parents’ criticism and beating can only hurt their children and cannot really play an educational role. The south wind effect is also called the \”law of warmth\”. It comes from a fable written by the French writer La Fontaine: the north wind and the south wind compete to see who can take off people\’s coats. When the north wind is biting and biting, pedestrians will wrap their coats tightly; while when the south wind blows slowly and the sun is bright, pedestrians will take off their coats as they walk. In people\’s minds, the north wind is more powerful, but why did it lose? Because the north wind is like criticism and scolding, which can make people\’s hearts \”chill\” and create resistance; while the south wind is like guidance and preaching, which will not hurt children\’s self-esteem and is easy for people to accept. As the saying goes: \”A kind word can warm you in winter, but a bad word can hurt you in summer.\” In family education, if parents criticize and beat their children, it will only hurt the children and will not play an educational role. Wise parents guide patiently and convince others with reason, which makes it easier for their children to accept. Written at the end: When children are studying, whether they are dilly-dallying or inattentive, parents should not beat or yell at their children. Once a child is spanked and scolded several times by his parents, the child\’s brain will generate negative emotional memories. From then on, whenever the child mentions learning, he will be disturbed by these negative emotions and will not want to learn. Over time, he will become resistant to learning. Therefore, parents must adopt scientific and effective education methods at all times.