The reason behind a child’s crying is heartbreaking

The night before yesterday, mother and son went out for a walk together with their younger brother and Rooney. When passing the maternal and child store at the entrance of the community, as usual, Rooney said he wanted to go in and take a look. Since my brother was born, we have become regular customers in the store, but what bothers me is that every time Rooney sees those toys in the store, he doesn’t want to leave. This time, I didn’t want to go in, but he seemed to have figured out my thoughts. He shouted, “Mom, I just don’t want to buy it,” and ran in quickly. I sighed helplessly, this child has always been so impatient. I pushed my brother and followed him. He went straight to the toy section as usual. I remembered that my brother\’s clothes were a bit too small, so I looked at the baby clothes. After a while, Rooney came over and pulled me: \”Mom, come here!\” \”What are you doing? I\’m looking at which clothes to buy for my brother.\” I was a little impatient, but he still pulled me over. He took out a box of transforming cars and said, \”Mom, can you buy this for me?\” I was unhappy. I had promised not to buy it but to see it, so why did I go back on my word? It seems that the child\’s words really cannot be believed. Seeing that I didn\’t agree, he started to shout: \”Huh! He just wants to buy clothes for my brother, not toys for me!\” I ignored him. He continued: \”If you don\’t want to buy me a car, then buy me stickers!\” \”I already have so many stickers at home, so I won\’t buy them!\” I got angry. \”I want a lot of stickers for the children. I have so many classmates. Why don\’t you buy them for me, Mom.\” He almost begged. \”I already have enough stickers at home! I told you not to buy them, but you are so dishonest. How can I trust you in the future?\” No matter what he said, I still adhered to my principles and refused to buy them for him. His voice became louder and louder, and there were many people in the store. I didn\’t want to argue with him anymore and affect other people, so I pushed my brother out of the store. He had no choice but to follow me, but his anger remained. After I entered the community, he started yelling again. I was so angry that I wanted to slap him in the mouth several times, but I thought that besides venting my dissatisfaction, it would not help the child\’s crying, so I held back. Then I heard him start to accuse me: \”You don\’t play with me every day. What\’s wrong with me buying toys? You spend the whole day either hugging your brother or writing articles. Is writing articles so important? Do you know that the most important thing is Your son!\” I was stunned when I heard the words \”The most important thing is your son.\” I didn\’t know whether to be happy or sad when a six-year-old said such a thing. Because he was right, I was speechless for a moment. I began to understand a little bit why he was clamoring to buy toys, and I suddenly felt distressed and wanted to go over and hug him. But he dodged: \”Go away! Don\’t touch me!\” I knew he meant something different, so I still hugged him. While he pushed me hard, he cried and said: \”What I don\’t want is toys, what I want is love!\” I laughed, this child finally said what he was really thinking! Fortunately, I controlled myself and did not violently stop his crying. At the same time, I was also very ashamed. Thinking about it carefully, I really didn’t spend much time seriously accompanying him during the summer vacation. In addition to reading to him before going to bed, I spent almost all the time with him during the day, either feeding him, coaxing him to sleep, playing with him, and finally he fell asleep.After that, I turned on the computer again and started working. Occasionally, I would play a game with him. Sometimes I would be attracted by his brother\’s cry, or I would pick up my phone to reply to a message, or my mind would turn to composing and writing an article. Where is my companionship? At most, it’s just to accompany you. The absent-minded companionship of parents may have little impact on their children for the time being. But if things go on like this, the child is so smart and sensitive, how can he not detect the sincerity of his parents? Careless companionship is actually more terrible than absence. Because this kind of behavior actually gives the child a hint that you are not important in the hearts of your parents, because they can also be distracted to consider other things. Parents\’ attention and love are the basic needs for children to survive. If this need is not met, children with good expressive skills can still express it, while younger children or children with poor expressive skills will use other channels to express their needs. To seek, such as crying constantly, hurting yourself or others, etc. Because the child finds that only when he cries and hits others can he get the attention of his parents. Even though it\’s negative attention, the child doesn\’t care as long as the parents\’ attention is on me. I think of the three-year-old boy in the video mentioned in the article a few days ago. He often makes noises to buy snacks. When he doesn\’t get snacks, he rolls on the floor crying and even hurts himself. Isn\’t it because he lacks the love and attention of his parents? ? Teacher Yin Jianli said: All children’s crying stems from unmet needs. Understanding this, next time we face a crying child, please try to control your emotions, accept the child, and allow him to cry. You know, if you just try to stop the child from crying, it will only treat the symptoms but not the root cause, and will only bring more psychological problems to the child. However, two points should be noted when allowing children to cry. First, try to take the child away from public places to prevent the child\’s crying from affecting others; second, do not satisfy the child\’s unreasonable demands just because he is crying, which will only make him angry. Learn to cry to express your needs. After the child has cried, we should try to guide the child to express his true inner thoughts and needs, and at the same time teach him how to express himself correctly in language. In this way, a good communication model is formed, and the number of crying episodes will increase. few. As parents, we must also accompany our children attentively, give them enough love and attention, and let them be nourished by love, so that their emotions will not get out of control so easily. Don\’t use the excuse that you are busy at work to neglect your children. In fact, 30 minutes of attentive, high-quality companionship every day can bring enough love and nourishment to your child, and the effect is much stronger than absentmindedly accompanying your child all day long.