The secret to developing efficient learning methods and good habits in children

Helping children develop good living and study habits is one of the most important things in a child\’s life, but it is also the most likely place for parents to feel frustrated. No matter how you say it or do it, children are always prone to lack persistence in some aspects, lose track of things, and refuse to change despite repeated teachings. Children themselves also have the desire to do things well, because usually we discuss with them that they should get up on time and do their homework well, and the children swear by it and express their cooperation. But in the end, it was not possible to do it, probably because the child lacked the logic and skills to complete the matter, that is, executive ability. Neuroscientists have found that these skills slowly improve as children grow up, and parents have endless opportunities to lead their children to improve throughout their childhood. The theory of behaviorism advocates focusing on three aspects. Behaviorism theory believes that learning is the connection between stimuli and responses. Their basic assumption is that behavior is the learner\’s response to environmental stimuli. They view the environment as stimuli, the accompanying organism\’s behavior as responses, and believe that all behaviors are learned. At present, behaviorism theory is still widely used in schools for educational practice, mainly because of its high efficiency. In family education, parents can also learn how to shape and correct their children\’s behavior, create an environment for their children, strengthen their children\’s positive behaviors to the greatest extent possible, and eliminate inappropriate behaviors. In order to help children develop their executive abilities and make their behavior develop in the direction we expect, we can start from the following three aspects – A. Pay attention to the antecedent (antecedent) B. Pay attention to the behavior (behavior) C. Pay attention Consequences A. Focusing on antecedents means that we can improve the fit between the child and the task by changing external factors or the environment. Once we take action and hope to improve children\’s ability to perform things, the first thing to do is to change the environment. When a child develops strong executive abilities, there will be no need to work hard to change the child\’s living environment in the future, but during the child\’s childhood, this is one of the things parents have to do. Adjusting the environment makes it easier for correct behavior to occur and more difficult for mistakes to occur. For example, many children are easily distracted when doing homework, perhaps because they are disturbed by noise; they have difficulty concentrating on work, perhaps because there are too many toys and other irrelevant clutter around them. In this regard, we can try to create a quiet learning environment and a simple living environment for our children, thereby improving their concentration. Perhaps some parents think that children should not be raised to be too delicate and unable to learn at the slightest noise. How can such children adapt to the outside environment? Throughout society, various institutions are adjusting the environment to help people achieve their goals more smoothly. For example, banks can set up queue machines to prevent people from jumping in queues, and traffic control departments can set up road signs to reduce traffic accidents. At the same time, adults will also consciously create an environment for themselves that is conducive to positive behaviors. It is more efficient to go to the gym to exercise, and it is easier to invest in studying in the library. Adults still do this to reduce the impact of confrontation with the environment.The psychological toll that comes. Being too obsessed with letting children adapt to the external environment and ignoring the psychological burden and mental overload that children need to pay to adapt to the environment is a very costly thing. In terms of children\’s insufficient execution ability, by adjusting a suitable environment, the child will spend less energy on fighting the environment, and can also focus more on the things he needs to work hard on, and can also ease his emotions. The purpose is to prevent sudden emotional outbursts and endanger the relationship between parents and children. B. Paying attention to behavior refers to directly teaching children how to complete tasks through guidance. A set of psychological experiments show that when the goals are clear and the methods are simple, behavioral changes are more likely to occur. Two groups of hotel attendants, one group was told that dragging the floor consumes 50 calories and going up and downstairs consumes 60 calories, while the other group was not told. As a result, those who were informed were more enthusiastic about their jobs and lost more weight than those who were not informed. Children\’s prefrontal lobes are not fully developed and have difficulty handling complex tasks. At this time, parents need to temporarily act as part of their children\’s brains and guide them to take the first step in the task. Helping children break down complex tasks and telling them the meaning of doing so will help children take the initiative to change. For example, for a child who has difficulty organizing his room, we can tell him where to start: \”First sort out the toys by xx, and then put them into the organizing box next to them. This way, next time you want to play with toys, you can easily find them. \”It\’s necessary.\” In addition, general behaviors do not occur alone, but are related sequences. If you change one behavior, other corresponding behaviors will also change accordingly. Just like dominoes, if the first one falls, it will knock over the next one, allowing the next behavior to continue to happen. For example, we want our child to do more outdoor sports, but he just wants to stay at home. Then, take your child out of the house first and find an outdoor sport that he is interested in, or play with friends outdoors. Your child will be more willing to participate in outdoor activities next time. Of course, nurturing skills must still be based on the physiological development of children, and we must have a clearer understanding of what stage our children are currently at. Blindly hoping to develop a skill in a 7-year-old that usually takes 11-year-olds to master will only lead to anxiety. The same skill manifests itself differently in children of different ages. For example, for the skill of sorting, young children who can put toys in designated places under the guidance of adults are considered qualified; teenagers can sort clothes and other things on their own. Furthermore, we cannot expect children to learn to handle complex projects in just one or two tasks. We need to give our children constant and unwavering support. When you first start to develop habits, you still need to provide prompts and supervision. Many things are a process of waiting for the flowers to bloom. If things don\’t work in the first half of this year, they may suddenly get better in the second half of the year. Especially many mothers of boys will have this feeling when they look back on the past. C. Focusing on consequences means that we can use some positive reinforcement to encourage children to use the skills they have mastered. Finally, to consolidate the long-term effects of behavioral change, reinforcement with positive and timely feedback is indispensable. Two kinds of simplicityThe most effective way is to praise and motivate. 1) Consolidate executive skills with effective praise. There are several key points for effective praise: timely; describe specifically what kind of behavior deserves praise; let the child know the value of the behavior; praise the child\’s efforts rather than talent, letting the child know that he has accomplished it through hard work; guide the child to appreciate this type of behavior, or Think about solutions to problems. For example, children used to procrastinate in eating, which involves skills such as time management and getting started. When a child performs well, we can immediately praise (timely): \”You ate faster today than before and did not waste time going out (specific behavior + value of behavior). You did not eat snacks before meals, and the food was placed on the table After that, I didn’t procrastinate thinking about playing with toys (child’s effort). You performed really well today (guidance appreciation).” 2) Design an incentive plan (including problem behavior, desired goals, possible rewards, possible contingencies/penalties). When letting children complete some long-term or difficult tasks, we may need a more complete incentive system. For example, design a points incentive plan suitable for your own children to motivate them to achieve their goals. When children perform well and achieve goals, corresponding points can be awarded. The more points you have, the greater the reward, and the more difficult it is to complete the corresponding behavior. We can also discuss with the child the method of reward, which can be an item that the child particularly likes, or the right to do something, so that the child will be more motivated to achieve the goal. Of course, the incentive plan needs to maintain some flexibility and agree on \”possible contingencies/penalties.\” In this way, when a child works hard to complete a goal but does not do so well (for example, finishing over time or not cleaning up neatly), if we still give the child some small rewards, it will make the child feel motivated and supported. What should I do if my children don’t take the initiative to learn? How to make children fall in love with learning Efficient Accompanying Class Completed mp3 As for whether point rewards will destroy internal drive, I think we should treat them differently and depend on different situations. According to research, increasing rewards for things children enjoy can actually undermine intrinsic drive. When faced with things that children do not understand or find difficult to do, a small reward can increase the child\’s courage and help him jump out of his comfort zone and enter his stretching zone. Rewards are only external. More importantly, it must be combined with the previous point. After the child takes action, he understands why he is doing it and what progress he may make by doing it. This is the biggest psychological reward. In addition, when we design rewards, we should not focus on material rewards. These activities are mainly to make children feel motivated and supported by their parents. The Hawthorne effect states that people who are aware of being noticed tend to change their behavior. When parents give their children attention, certain behaviors of the child will be enhanced. Rewards are just one of the outward manifestations of paying attention to your children. What really needs to be remembered is that we need to make our children feel that they are cared for. I wrote a lot of words at the end, but in fact these three steps exist in everything we do. Whether we are adults or children, as long as we pay a little attention to these three steps when doing things,It will make the task easier. But change is still a process, and parents don’t have to feel anxious if their children can’t do many things for a while. After all, all the children in the world struggle to stay organized to some extent. With our effective guidance and the gradual development and maturity of children\’s brains, I believe they will do better and better. When children still need adult supervision and guidance, we just need more patience and empathy.