The secret to making your children better is hidden in these four words

I saw a video a few days ago. A mother said that her child secretly played games during online classes. The mother was very angry at that time, and then she helped her child with homework, but the child didn\’t learn it for a long time. She was so angry that she broke down and broke two tablets in a rage. A collection of perfect compositions for primary school students in grades 1-6 + a collection of excellent compositions for primary school students + a collection of award-winning compositions for primary school students, all 4 PDF volumes. You can feel your mother\’s anger across the screen. Although parents have no choice but to vent their anger when encountering such a \”scumbag\” child, many netizens still don\’t agree with the mother\’s approach: she is angry, but her education has also gone awry. If her own problems are passed on to her children , that is more terrible than poor grades. Children\’s grades are important. But if a child has to face his parents\’ temper because of his grades, what may be ruined is the child\’s interest in learning. If you want to raise an excellent child, you don\’t have to plan everything for him; nor does it mean that the louder the parents\’ voice is, the better they can control their children. I once read this sentence: The family is a banner for the children, and the children are a mirror for the parents. Family is the first lesson in life, and parents are the first mentors in their children\’s lives. Their educational wisdom is the foundation of their children\’s future. In this era of struggling parents, if you want to raise excellent children, you need to understand the most important \”four words\” in education. Once used well, the children will benefit for a lifetime. I am willing to spend energy \”accompanying\” my child to give him a \”sense of belonging\”. I saw a very heart-breaking news. A 12-year-old boy took a taxi back to his hometown at one o\’clock in the morning while his family was asleep. The taxi driver was afraid that something might happen to the child, so he secretly called the police. When asked why, the boy said with tears, \”I just want to visit my mother\’s grave.\” This boy has never enjoyed the warmth of home since his mother passed away. Dad is usually very busy with work, so companionship has become a luxury for him. That day, after the boy quarreled with his father, he missed his mother very much and wanted to visit her secretly. Every child looks for a \”sense of belonging\” from his parents. It comes from parents\’ attention, companionship and care. Once parents cannot give these to their children, children will feel helpless and \”cold\” inside. Companionship in the parent-child relationship is a state of mutual perfection. It is a spiritual soothing agent for children, making them feel that \”I am important.\” If parents often ignore their children, it is easy for the children to develop an \”emotional lack\” with their parents, and the family will fall into an atmosphere of indifference. Psychological research shows that children who lack companionship since childhood do not give them a sense of belonging and are more likely to become rebellious, have low self-esteem, and have a greater risk of depression. Excellent children are “accompanied” by their parents. Yes, as long as parents can spend time with their children, they will have enough motivation to move forward. There is a documentary in the UK that records the growth trajectories of 70,000 children in order to find the truth behind their excellence. The results showed that most of those children who can continue to excel are surrounded by parents who grew up with them. The more you \”accompany\”, the more you love, the more you \”accompany\”, the better you are, this is the law of children\’s growth. Only high-quality companionship can make children more confident in facing the future in an atmosphere of love. We don\’t necessarily have toStay with your child at all times, but the way is very important: Give the child a sense of intimacy: hug and caress more, so that the child feels \”I am loved by the world.\” Give him patience, answer difficult questions for the child, accompany the child to explore his world, integrate into his heart, and make the child feel that \”I am not alone.\” Pay more attention to your children: Even a greeting and concern can make your children feel full of security. Parents can give their children an emotional sense of security, and the children will have more superiority and confidence in their abilities. If parents are \”lazy\”, their children will have more sense of responsibility. I saw a mother asking for help online and said: I put all my thoughts on my children. I have to tell them to get all their things before going to school every day; I stay close when doing homework at night. She always guards him; she arranges everything for him in terms of food and clothing every day, and never lets him do anything. Now that he is here, he gets annoyed when he sees me. What should I do? Some experts have pointedly pointed out that these behaviors of mothers point out: because of your \”excessive attention\” to your children, your children feel like they are being kidnapped. Sometimes, the more parents work for their children, the easier it is for them to \”dislike\” them. Many parents think that their children are still young, so they are uneasy and have to do everything for their children. It is precisely the \”hard work\” of parents that cuts off their children\’s abilities. Chen Heqin, a famous education expert, said: Let a child do anything he can do by himself. As the saying goes: \”Lazy\” parents make outstanding children, and this is not true at all. Studies have shown that children have a sense of independence from the age of 3. When a certain independent requirement of the child is met, the child will show happiness, self-esteem, pride and other self-affirming emotions. Otherwise, it will appear Negative emotions. The lazier the parents are, the more capable they are. Actor Hai Qing is a \”lazy\” mother. Because of her busy work schedule, she rarely helps her children with homework. Sometimes when she watches her children write homework, she can’t figure out what step he has learned in his homework. The child wanted to watch the World Cup, but Haiqing didn\’t want to get up early, so the child asked his classmates to help him prepare breakfast for the next day. Hai Qing, who seemed very nervous, actually raised a self-disciplined child. Don’t sleep until you finish your homework; start writing your own English novel after finishing your homework… To educate children, parents do not need to rush in front of their children in everything. We will find that if you don’t help your child, he will have the awareness to solve problems independently; if you don’t nag your child, he will become self-conscious; if you don’t interfere with your child, he will learn to make choices and take responsibility from his mistakes. A child\’s sense of responsibility exists in his or her daily independent dealings. \”Lazy\” parents will stimulate their children\’s potential step by step and let them understand what they \”should do\” and \”what they can do.\” When educating children, parents have to be \”lazy\”. The more parents are able to \”lie\” to their children, the more confident the children will be. In the movie \”Wild Child\”, there is a 16-year-old girl who was doted on by her father since childhood and became very rebellious. Once she annoyed her father and was sent to a school known for its neat and strict philosophy. As soon as she entered the school, she challenged the school rules and aroused everyone\’s disgust. The principal did not punish her after seeing her words and deeds. He also gave her the management of the school\’s hockey team and said to her: The girls here are all smart, independent, thoughtful, and kind-hearted.We will all be good friends in the end, and I know you are the same kind of girl despite the harsh words. After hearing these words, the girl realized that her previous behavior was stupid. She began to change herself, not only making friendly friends, but also working hard to manage the hockey team, and finally the school\’s hockey team won the championship. Every child has innate potential, and it depends on family education to determine whether it will be stimulated. Psychologically speaking, human behavior development is divided into three stages: becoming, pretending to be, and becoming. What kind of person you define your child to be, the child will accept himself in the eyes of his parents, and eventually he will slowly become the person he is in the eyes of his parents. Among these three stages, the most important stage is \”determination\”: \”Parents use words to give hints to their children about who they want their children to be.\” Maybe the child is not outstanding, but parents \”cheating\” the child with words of appreciation may stimulate the child\’s inner desires and give him a positive expectation for himself. Psychologist Rosenthal once conducted an experiment on \”cheating\” children. He came to a school, randomly selected a dozen children, and told the teacher that they had a lot of room for development. So the teachers at the school paid special attention to this group of children and kept encouraging them. Eight months later, he found that the children\’s grades had improved a lot. Not only were their personalities more cheerful, but they were also becoming more and more confident. This experiment called the \”expectation effect\” also made parents understand: What do you expect your children to be like, and you must find ways to cultivate your children into that kind of person. At an important point in a child\’s life, \”cheating\” a child is a kind of affirmation with appreciation. Encourage the strengths, look at the child\’s shortcomings with a \”blind\” mentality, and \”raise\” the child\’s self-confidence, and excellence will slowly move closer to him. The more parents \”understand\” their children, the better their children will be. In the documentary \”Hello Future Humanity\”, there is a 13-year-old boy He Jiajin. He once participated in an intelligence competition in the UK and won second place. He was hailed as a \”genius child\”. But in just three years, he lost the ability to learn, and also engaged in many bad behaviors. All of this is due to his mother. Originally he liked programming, but his mother forced him to study medicine. In the \”Gifted Child\” competition, his mother forced him to choose a topic related to medicine. The mother always \”pushes\” her son according to the route she planned for him, but in the end she ruined the child. Every child has a spiritual code deep in his heart. Only when parents respect him, understand him, and see him from the bottom of his heart, can the child\’s development get better and better. However, many parents always use their own thinking to speculate on their children, focusing too much on the \”child\” and ignoring the \”child\’s feelings.\” In fact, every child’s biggest desire is not to be blamed, but to be understood and supported. Only by finding your child\’s interests and hobbies and sincerely accepting them will such children be more independent and outstanding. In \”Little Joy\”, Yang Yang\’s mother is a mother who \”understands\” her children. Yang Yang has a rebellious character, and every time his father confronts him head-on, he resists. But mother Liu Jing believes that \”only love and understanding can win children.\” In order to get to know her child, she took her father to play with herRacing gave me the opportunity to further communicate with my children. Yang Yang doesn\’t want to study and wants to work in his uncle\’s car factory. His mother will also respect him: I know you like cars the most, and I support your dream. You see, your uncle’s automotive engineer also learned his skills in school. Yang Yang was instantly awakened by his mother and started studying hard for his dream. Writer Jane Nelson said: Starting from the age of ten, the best way for parents to win their children is to stand with them first with a firm, kind and respectful attitude. The greatest sense of value for a child\’s growth comes from \”my parents can understand my needs.\” A child can find his greatest value and have the greatest motivation when he is seen and understood. To love a child, you must do what he or she wishes, respect the child, support the child, and intervene in the child\’s growth in an accepting way. Only by approaching the child slowly with a soft heart can we win him. There was a passage in the People\’s Daily: Recommended classic Chinese studies books: All 6 volumes of Chinese excellent traditional culture for grades 1 to 6, high-definition full-color PDF version. Parents are their children\’s most loyal teachers. They only have one chance to grow up with their children. , the time you devote yourself to him is only for a certain period of time. Once the opportunity is lost, you will never get it back. On the road to education, no parent can easily harvest perfect children. What you give to your children is what your children give you in return. Therefore: Only when parents are not \”absent\” easily can they get their children\’s generous treatment; don\’t \”catch\” their children too tightly, so that they can have the ability to soar in the sky; \”praise\” their children a little higher, so that they can stimulate their potential. Only by not \”running into\” your child\’s boundaries easily can you build a brilliant future.