The secrets hidden in \”Ruyi\’s Royal Love in the Palace\” and the three common problems of Chinese mothers raising babies

While watching \”Ruyi\’s Royal Love in the Palace\”, barrages kept popping up: This drama is not about palace battles or love at all, but about parenting. I went back and watched it carefully several times, and it turns out that this drama really contains great wisdom about raising children. Although the prince\’s father is both a big pig\’s hooves, the differences in mother\’s parenting methods lead to very different growth of the children. Mother Lu discovered that the mothers in \”Ruyi\’s Royal Love in the Palace\” were actually not in the Qing Dynasty, but in the present day. ——Lu Ma Queen Fucha is the representative of anxious child-rearing. The words she talks about most often are: \”You are the legitimate son. If you don\’t live up to expectations, who else can the Queen count on?\” Gui Yonglian was the only legitimate son of the emperor, so Empress Fucha placed all her hopes on him. He is not allowed to lag behind other princes in his studies, and he is not allowed to tolerate him not being outstanding and not being valued by the emperor. Yong Lian was forced to get up at three or four in the morning to study. Studying in the study room was not enough. After class, when he returned to the queen, he had to check his homework. There is no time to relax at all. There are only two words in Yonglian\’s life: study. Not only that, but you also have to practice foot shooting after school, during the winter and summer vacations. Studying at such a high intensity, 365 days a year, I can only take a few days off during major holidays and my birthday. I felt sleepy while studying and couldn\’t rest. I went to the door to blow in the cold wind to wake me up. The second elder brother, who was already weak, couldn\’t bear the hardship and pressure and caught a cold. Even if you are sick, you should continue studying even if you take medicine. Queen Fucha’s parenting style made me see the anxiety of Chinese parents, which has existed since ancient times. Under the Queen\’s pressure, the second elder brother was exhausted and overwhelmed and fell ill. \”Second brother is tired and restless, nervous, and the wind and cold invade the body, which brings out the weaknesses hidden in the body.\” The imperial doctor said. The queen cried bitterly and blamed herself, but nothing could be done to save her. In the end, poor Yonglian died of illness at a young age because of the high-pressure education promoted by the queen. Empress Fucha is very much like some parents today. She enrolled her children in more than N classes. She wanted to be excellent in everything and competed in everything. She took up all the holidays and after-school time, leaving her children exhausted. Third-rate parents cannot raise first-rate children. She blindly forced her children to study and pushed them to death. As a mother, Empress Fucha herself became completely different. Concubine Chun was the representative of the favored child-rearing in the harem. She never concealed her preference for her own child, and deliberately only took him to show his face to the emperor. He left his adopted son Yonghuang in the palace. When marrying Yong Huang, he also chose relatives from his own small family. In front of the children, he also made no secret of his preference. A seed was planted for the child. The younger brother was just an adopted son. In E Niang\’s heart, she was the one who valued her most. At the queen\’s funeral, the two children were angrily scolded by the emperor for not crying. She got up without caring about Yong Huang at all, and was only willing to plead for her own children. Such a separation between closeness and distance is chilling. Under the education of the small and cowardly concubine Chun, Yongzhang did not know how to be friendly to his brothers. When the emperor criticized Yonghuang for not being good at studying, he just watched with cold eyes and did not make a move. Yongzhang didn\’t know how to advance or retreat, and wanted to show his filial piety, but he committed the most taboo that he should not have committed, which made the emperor Longyan furious and scolded him for being cold. Finally depressed and unhappy,Died of illness. Concubine Chun thought that preference was good for her child, but she didn\’t know that this preference was poison, and she pushed her biological child to the edge of the cliff step by step. As the saying goes, \”A child who is spoiled is like a child who is killed. A child who blindly favors a spoiled child only knows how to be self-centered and does not respect others.\” In the harem, Concubine Jia was forced to raise children, which meant that she tried every means to make Yongxun the emperor\’s first son after he ascended the throne. She often said to Yongxun: \”You are the most noble son after the emperor ascended the throne.\” She treated the child as a chess piece, asking him to fight for it and making him better than other princes. He even went so far as to seize the position of \”prince\” that did not belong to him. Under her training, Yongxun became perverse and flamboyant. While hunting in Mulan\’s paddock, Yongxun said: \”There are no brothers in the hunting ground. Whoever has the ability belongs to him.\” He has no regard for brotherhood and is full of ambition. In order for her son to gain the favor of the emperor, Concubine Jia even asked Yongxun to plot to kill her own father, regardless of the child\’s original kind and filial character. After gaining the emperor\’s praise, he not only drank heavily during the day, but also often openly ridiculed other neglected princes. However, Yongxuan was too showy and wanted to show his superb horse training skills in front of his biological father. Unexpectedly, he aroused suspicion. After the truth was found out, he was exiled from the palace and could no longer be reused. Children raised by mothers who behave in a domineering and overbearing manner do not understand what it means to \”hide one\’s skills over one\’s own weaknesses\”. \”The agency was too clever in its calculations, and it cost Qing Qing her life.\” In the end, Yong Xun was dragged down, and what he said was heart-wrenching. If I had known today, why would I have done it in the first place? In fact, Yongxun\’s nature is not bad, but the education he received from his mother since childhood was two words: \”competition\” and \”competition\”. This kind of education may be able to force children to become talented, but it can also easily lead to children not knowing how to restrain themselves, losing their humanity and bottom line, and going astray. It finally came to such a miserable and tragic ending. There is no right or wrong in a child\’s initial world. His worldview is completely established bit by bit by his parents. Provide children with an environment of respect and love, so that children will know how to respect others and how to love the world. At this point, mother\’s education is particularly important. The famous educator Tao Xingzhi once said: \”Like father, like son. Being a parent is actually a practice. You must become whatever you want your children to become. Children are a mirror of your parents. You What kind of light is given to it, what kind of color it reflects!\” If the parents are gentle and kind, the children will be tolerant to others; if the parents are eager for quick success, the children will be very willing to spend money. As a parent, what is truly good for your children is to let them be their best selves. Instead of imposing your own will on the child in the name of love, you will end up harming the child without knowing it. After reading \”Ruyi\’s Royal Love in the Palace\”, I hope all parents can learn from it how to raise children correctly and reflect on their own problems in raising children. Real education should be a practice. It is to meet a better self in the process of education.