The smartest way to communicate with children: adhere to one core and three expressions

Many parents communicate with their children, but whenever they speak, their children will fight, or the children will not listen at all, or conflicts will continue. The problem lies somewhere, it lies in the expression. Your expressions are all directed at children. If you start with you, there will be nagging, complaining, criticism, and blame. Why are you so disobedient? How many times have I told you. Why are you such a picky eater? I have never seen a child like you. I go to work and work all for you. I have worked so hard for you, but you still fail to live up to your expectations. The smartest way to communicate with children: stick to one core, three expressions, and children will not be confrontational. One core, start with me. Three expressions: express ideas, express feelings, and express love. For example, we see children being picky eaters. Why are you such a picky eater in the beginning? Look at how thin you are like a telephone pole. Will you be able to grow taller? Is it nutritious? How do you express it in three words? Mom made the meal this morning and you didn’t like it. , I am a little worried about your nutrition and whether you will grow taller. Seeing that you don\’t eat, my mother is a little anxious. This method of expression is to express worry in an internally consistent manner without blaming or saying anything bad about the child. Ask the child how to solve the mother\’s worries and anxiety. Then express your hope. Mom loves you very much. Mom hopes that you will grow taller, be nutritious, and have a strong and healthy body so that you can study better. Baby, how do you love your body and keep yourself well-nourished. Let the child name the solution. Our children are often picky eaters, but with this communication method, they will eat some. After I broke my bone, we didn’t eat together. Her father didn’t have the patience to communicate. If he asked her to eat it, she would refuse and find it unpalatable. So I often have conflicts over eating, and I go to school without eating. In the past few days, I have let my second daughter have breakfast in my room. I encourage her to eat every day and let her take responsibility for her own body. Her eating is much better. 02 The same is true for learning. Start with me and express the principle of three. For example, my second daughter was too lazy to do her homework yesterday. I said, Mom, seeing that you haven’t done your homework yet, I was a little anxious and wanted to do it for you. This is the true feeling of a mother. She is a little anxious, but she still loves you. When do you plan to start writing? The second daughter said, I will write in five minutes. Consistently expressing one\’s own thoughts, opinions, and feelings is the self-responsibility of parents. A parent\’s feelings belong to the parent, and a parent\’s anxieties belong to the parent. Parents are responsible for their own feelings and their own thoughts. Parents dissolve their own anxiety and do not pass it on to their children. We will not let our children bear our emotions or vent our emotions to our children. For children, parents should not beat or criticize you, but you should know what you should and should not do. This means no emotional confrontation and focusing on the matter itself. Give your child time and space to think about how he should be responsible for his own affairs and his own life. Parents and children are responsible for each other. This is communication with clear boundaries. The parents\’ emotions are not transferred to the children, and the children learn to deal with their own emotions. 03Expressing feelings allows children to enter our inner world. Children often don’t know where our emotions come from, and they learn more when we are honest about how we feel.Please understand us. For example, if you feel tired after a day of work, you can tell your child: \”Mom is a little tired from work today and needs a rest. Don\’t disturb mom.\” When your child makes a mistake, don\’t just criticize, but express your disappointment and worry: \”Mom, do this.\” I\’m a little disappointed, and I\’m worried that you\’ve developed bad habits.\” Such expressions can help children understand the impact of their actions on others, and also allow them to learn to pay attention to the feelings of others. At the same time, we must also encourage children to express their own feelings and let them know that whether they are happy, sad or angry, they are normal emotions and can be accepted and understood. Expressing love is the warmest foundation for parent-child communication. Love is not just material giving, but also transmission in words and actions. A hug or \”I love you\” can make children feel endless warmth. When your children make progress, give them sincere praise and encouragement: \”You did a great job, I\’m so proud of you!\” When your children encounter difficulties, tell them firmly: \”Don\’t be afraid, I will always be by your side.\” Support you.\” Let children grow up in an atmosphere of love, and they will be more confident and brave to face the challenges in life.