The son of a scumbag who was at the bottom of his grade was admitted to Tsinghua University with a score of 686 in the college entrance examination. His parents showed off: they didn’t have to worry about it, the teacher didn’t care much, and the child figured it out on his own…

In recent years, a kind of \”counterattack\” novel has become particularly popular: a man turns from a low-level social beast into a hegemonic boss, and a woman goes from being desperate to being slapped in the face with revenge. If the protagonist was a child, the plot would probably be about a poor student counterattacking and winning the first prize in the Qingbei. Although the probability of this kind of thing is small, it has happened in reality. There is a child named Qi Feng who relied on his own efforts to get admitted to Tsinghua University from the bottom of his grade. To be honest, his growth experience is indeed quite like that of the protagonist of a cool novel. Born in a rural area, there were few educational resources in my hometown. When I was 8 years old, I followed my parents to the city to attend second grade. He has an introverted personality, his grades in elementary school were mediocre, and he doesn\’t have any potential for academic excellence. We always say: Children who get admitted to Qingbei are not born from chickens. They usually have extraordinary talents, which can be seen at a young age, and they lead the way to prestigious schools. Qifeng is also smart, but he is not a traditional academic. He counterattacked from the bottom of the grade and stepped on many pitfalls, which are also encountered by ordinary children, so it is more meaningful to learn from. The self-confidence that comes out is often very fragile. When Qi Feng was in elementary school, the teachers only taught knowledge, and the parents were busy making a living and generally did not care about their children. Their only way to educate is to compare their scores with each other to encourage their children. Not to mention learning methods, habits, etc., Qi Feng spent 6 years of primary school in a daze. His attitude towards learning is that he will write the assignments assigned by the teacher, but does not care about the quality. But because the overall teaching in the school was not good at that time, just by completing the homework, it was enough to stay in the middle. Coupled with good luck, he performed extremely well after being promoted to junior high school. He was admitted to the local junior high school with the highest admission rate in the local high school entrance examination with the last ranking. This news, to the small circle in which he lives, is tantamount to winning a jackpot. You know, there are many children around him who can only go to high school after taking the high school entrance examination twice, and they don\’t even dare to think about college. Being admitted to this junior high school is equivalent to half stepping into the university gate. So that whole summer vacation, Qifeng was praised by his parents and neighbors. There was too much applause and praise, and he himself didn\’t understand why he was able to get ashore. He could only attribute it to: I am too smart and I can learn well without working too hard. With this unobjective self-perception, he was just like when he was in elementary school, not studying very seriously and just getting by with homework. He felt that he could do well in the exam by studying this way, so he set the goal of being first in grade in public without knowing the importance of it. As a result, it was no surprise to him. The results of his first monthly exam gave him a heavy blow. It happened that I was criticized in public by my teacher for being sloppy in my homework. When I got home, my parents only had simple and rude criticism. The child was already feeling very uncomfortable after failing to do well in the exam. Coupled with the negative comments from the outside world, he gave up on himself and once fell to the bottom of his grade. In life, many children will have similar problems: they will be elated if they succeed in the exam, feel discouraged if they fail in the exam, and in more serious cases, they will be completely ruined. The common problem of this kind of children is that their mentality is relatively poor and their core is not stable enough. Their perception of themselves is either based on their achievements or on the evaluation of others. The child\’s mood is always affected by these external objects, and the child\’s energy is consumed faster than others, and naturally he has no energy to study hard. Everyone always says: Those kids who do well in exams may not necessarily study best, but they must have the most stable mentality. But the mentalityThis matter cannot be cultivated by just saying \”look away\” to the children. It depends more on how we usually do it. When raising children, you can\’t do what parents do: compete with each other. Faced with ups and downs in performance, parents are more stable than their children. When your child does well in an exam, you can celebrate, but don’t praise endlessly; when your child does poorly in an exam, you should guide him to pay attention to his own changes: what is good, what is a shortcoming, and how to improve it? The so-called teaching by example and words, if you do this, even if you don\’t say those \”chicken soup\”, the children will not collapse because of temporary gains and losses. The beginning of a positive cycle of successful experience. How did Qifeng get out of this trough and re-establish his confidence in learning? It\’s very simple, accomplish one thing and use one success to get more successes. Qifeng said that for a long time, in order to escape, he would sleep in class and go to Internet cafes in the middle of the night. One day, the Chinese teacher went to patrol the Internet cafe and caught Qi Feng who did not go to evening self-study. However, to his surprise, the teacher did not criticize him. Instead, he took out his diary excerpt and made a very objective comment: \”Your diary excerpt was written for more than a week, and a certain diary entry is quite thoughtful. \”Finally, the teacher said meaningfully: \”You just practice less and do less.\” This sentence made Qifeng re-examine himself: Maybe it\’s not that he is not good, but that he is not as hard as his classmates, why not give it a try? He decided to experiment with pre-class speeches, so he spent more than three months polishing the manuscript and practicing reading it aloud. That speech was quite successful. It only lasted 4 minutes, but it made him feel what it meant to be hearty. In the subsequent comments, the teacher also gave a super high evaluation exceeding the full score of 0.1. This successful experience allowed him to regain his confidence and start to devote himself to learning. For most children, this is actually the case. What can mobilize their inner motivation is not some great truth, the importance of learning, a good job in the future… these things that are out of reach. The sense of satisfaction of \”I can do it, I can do it\” gained from successful experiences, even the most inconspicuous things, is the source that inspires them to continue working hard and keep trying. Deliberate practice is indispensable if you want to improve your performance. As for how to improve your performance, I was really looking forward to some exclusive tips in the book, but unfortunately: he used a stupid method, a lot of memorization and practice. In Qi Feng\’s own words: The knowledge I learned in junior high school was actually very little, so little that I could almost guess the test questions using exhaustive methods. Therefore, it is the easiest way to master all kinds of questions thoroughly. We are always emphasizing that we are against mechanical question-answering tactics, that we must find the right learning methods, and pay attention to cultivating children\’s thinking ability. In fact, there is no conflict between answering questions and cultivating thinking. The so-called three points of learning and seven points of practice. In the process of solving questions, children can not only remember the knowledge more firmly, but also know how to apply it and adapt to the exam. This has been proven by experiments conducted by the University of Washington. Regardless of the firmness or accuracy of memory, the effect of brushing up on questions is superior to theoretical learning. Of course, I don’t recommend that children blindly answer questions. As there is a saying: children who have answered questions may not necessarily have good grades, but children with good grades will definitely answer questions.Over question. Same approach, different results, depending on how practical the child is. It is necessary to brush to a certain amount so that quantitative changes lead to qualitative changes, but not to the point where children lose all interest. You need to be comprehensive and familiar with all question types, but you also need to know where your weak points are and make targeted improvements. Another thing that affects his mentality is this. After this speech, Qi Feng worked steadily, counting down from the grades, and slowly reached the top dozens. Unfortunately, his grades improved and after he passed the high school entrance examination and was admitted to No. 1 Middle School (a key local high school), he started to fall back into his old ways and forgot about his past. It may be that you have reached adolescence and are pursuing individuality, or you may be in urgent need of recognition from your peers. Rather than achieving results, Qifeng at this stage wants to be the focus of the crowd and be noticed by everyone. He had \”slanted bangs\”, walked with jerky movements, slept in the morning and wandered around the campus in the afternoon, wanting to be a \”big brother\”. As expected, Qifeng\’s grades plummeted again, and he was basically locked in the bottom ten of his grade. He could only comfort himself with the words of his \”buddy\”: Those who study honestly are all nerds, and they will not work for him in the future. In fact, this \”theory of useless reading\” is a method of spiritual victory. Because they don\’t study and show they don\’t care, children can comfort themselves: \”I\’m just too lazy to study, it\’s not that I can\’t learn well.\” In real life, there are many children who are misled by their peers\’ concepts. Because their minds are immature and their cognition is not sound enough, children are especially likely to do something unconsciously or forced to join in the group, regardless of whether it is right or wrong, and whether they approve of it or not. Just like Qi Feng, every time I fail in an exam, I still feel pain inside, but I\’m just too embarrassed to show it. Fortunately, he accidentally got rid of the shackles of this kind of thinking because of a political class. In that class, the teacher asked the students to write down the three most important people to them. The children\’s answers were mostly the same, basically their parents, grandparents, future spouse or children. After listening to their explanations, Qifeng felt that they all made sense, but he couldn\’t resonate with them. He finally wrote three words on the paper: \”I, me, me\”. It may sound a bit pretentious, but Qifeng did have an epiphany because of this. He realized that if he wanted to change his bad life, the only way was to study. After understanding this, Qi Feng no longer feared being laughed at by his original \”friends\”, and began to take the initiative to seek help from those good students, and officially set his goal of getting into Tsinghua University. From his story, we can see that the confusion of adolescent children is often due to their failure to understand these issues. \”Who am I?\” \”What kind of person do I want to be?\” \”How can I live an ideal life?\” Once a person clearly understands himself, he will not be easily influenced by the outside world or have his confidence shaken by some things. With this characteristic, we cannot expect children to have an epiphany just because of a lesson. That is a low-probability event. From the time your child is young, accept his feelings, respect his choices, encourage him to think about why he works hard, and work hard to support him. Perhaps this is the secret that ensures that a child will always be able to make a comeback.