The true meaning of raising a rich daughter

Some time ago, I attended a charity lecture. During the meeting, a guest shared the story of a mother and daughter, which made me feel deeply. The mother divorced very early, opened a clothing store, and raised her daughter. The daughter feels sorry for her mother\’s hard work and is always reluctant to spend money. But she often told her daughter: \”Girl, let\’s buy whatever you like. Mom can make money, don\’t worry.\” When her daughter was in her senior year of high school, she couldn\’t sleep all night because of the pressure of studying. After she found out, she talked to her daughter: \”You can go to any school you can get into. As long as you try your best, I will be happy for you. Don\’t make it difficult for yourself.\” In this relaxed atmosphere, her daughter performed very well in the college entrance examination and passed the exam. Attended a 985 university. In this mother, I saw something that many parents are lacking nowadays – a sense of relaxation. It is said that girls should be rich, but the real way to raise a daughter from wealth is not to just throw money at her and give her beautiful clothes, but to give her a sense of relaxation from the inside out. This is the most precious gift for my daughter. Only when parents have a sense of relaxation will their daughters feel secure enough. Girls generally have a soft heart and are easily influenced by the outside world. Parents\’ emotional instability is undoubtedly a disaster for girls. For example, Zhang Ailing’s mother spared no effort in educating her, sending her to the best schools and letting her learn piano and painting. But she was moody and had a bad temper. He would often greet his daughter in one moment, then yell at her the next, call her a pig, and even say indiscriminately that she \”lives to harm others.\” One time, her mother entertained guests at home, and a chair was missing in the living room. In order to please her mother, Zhang Ailing laboriously moved a large and heavy chair from next door. All she got was a cold reply from her mother: \”Are you a pig?\” Living in such a family, Zhang Ailing had to be careful and live in fear every day for fear of making her mother unhappy. Over time, she began to become fearful, sensitive, and inferior. Not only did she fall in love with the scumbag Hu Lancheng, but she was humble to the core. When she got married, she did not even dare to have children, and ended up being helpless and alone. Psychologist Maslow pointed out that a sense of security is the foundation of mental health. Only when children have a sense of security can they have self-confidence and self-esteem, and can they establish trusting interpersonal relationships with others. A sense of security is the most basic and important component of a girl’s personality. A girl who feels secure has a stronger heart, a healthier personality, and is more likely to be happy in an intimate relationship. Therefore, if you have a daughter at home, parents must keep their emotions relaxed. CCTV recommends over 500 high-scoring excellent documentaries. Children will become addicted to self-discipline after watching them. Relaxed families make girls feel more powerful. Have you noticed that the family atmosphere of those outstanding and confident girls around you is extremely free? For example, Gu Ailing, the \”genius girl\” who became popular last year. Growing up, her mother Gu Yan gave her daughter a lot of freedom: she encouraged Gu Ailing to try all the things she liked, equestrian, running, swimming, rock climbing, archery, ballet… When Gu Ailing proposed to join, it was very risky. Although Gu Yan was worried about the professional freestyle skiing team that faced male discrimination, she still chose to support her daughter\’s decision. When she was 13 years old, Gu AiLing participated in the professional open competition for the first time, fell heavily and was frustrated. But her mother patted her back gently and said, \”You are competing with so many adults at the age of 13. I am proud of you.\” Gu Ailing studied the entry information repeatedly before the competition. Her mother was afraid that she would be nervous, so she calmly comforted her: \”It\’s okay. , we focus on participation.\” It is precisely because of the relaxed family atmosphere created by her mother that Gu Ailing\’s heart is full of strength and she continues to break through herself along the way. For girls, parents\’ love and warmth are the source of inner strength and the motivation to explore the world. Writer Tetsuko Kuroyanagi recalled in her autobiography \”Little Doudou by the Window\” that she was very naughty when she was a child: she would run wild outside every day after school, go digging on fences, and get through barbed wire in fields, often leaving her clothes in tatters. But her mother did not stop her. Instead, she said, \”It\’s enviable that a child can have so much fun.\” When she was in the first grade, she was expelled from school for being naughty. Her parents did not blame her, but patiently selected her and found a more suitable school for her. Her parents\’ love and tolerance injected strength into her heart, making her stronger and stronger. She counterattacked from a poor student to a well-known program host. The more free and relaxed the family atmosphere is, the more girls dare to break the constraints and shackles, and have the courage and determination to face various challenges in life. They are rich in heart, unhurried, and confidently walking on the road to their dreams. Education blogger @He Liang, who has dual master\’s degrees from Peking University and Harvard, said: If you want your daughter to be confident, strong, and become a relaxed, sophisticated girl, parents should pay attention to the \”five don\’ts\”: 1. Don\’t ask your daughter to be quiet and well-behaved. Many parents are raising girls In the process of education, it is easy to fall into the misunderstanding of wanting to cultivate a girl into a gentle and sensible lady. But as written in the book \”Cultivating Girls with High Emotional Intelligence\”: Our responsibility is to encourage girls to be adventurous and brave, and to help them maintain their natural personality. We must not hesitate to resist those forces that seek to steal their childhood. When she was young, Bing Xin was a real \”tomboy\”, always jumping up and down every day. But her parents never blamed her and allowed her to wear men\’s clothes. They affectionately called her \”Brother\” and took her horse riding or shooting after school. When raising girls, we must allow them to be \”wild\”. Don\’t let the rules of being quiet, well-behaved, and well-educated constrain a girl\’s growth. 2. Don’t deliberately raise girls in poverty. Not long ago, a hot post resonated with many people. The poster said that her best friend wanted to eat tiger skin cake sold in the supermarket for 16 yuan per pound, but her mother refused. In fact, her friend\’s family background is not bad, but her mother just doesn\’t think it\’s worth it. Growing up, my friends always treated me harshly, and even buying a cake worth less than 100 yuan for my birthday was not worth it. And she herself grew up in this environment. She prioritized saving money in everything, and always felt that she was not worthy of having beautiful things. A girl who was deliberately raised in poverty has low self-esteem and sensitivity in her bones. Therefore, parents must try their best to meet girls\’ material needs, so as to cultivate girls\’ high self-esteem personality and lead to a well-matched life. 3. Don’t let girls fall into appearance anxiety. I watched a video: a 4-year-old black girl.The girl looked at herself in the mirror and said with great frustration: \”I\’m so ugly.\” Her hairdresser immediately took the girl into his arms and comforted her gently: \”You have a beautiful chocolate complexion and two warm dimples. , a mouth of white teeth, these are all symbols of beauty.\” Hearing these words, the little girl burst into tears and smiled. A few simple compliments made many netizens break their guard: \”I wish someone would have told me this when I was young, instead of growing up sad.\” Appearance anxiety is a hurdle in the growth of many girls, and many children This will cause anxiety and low self-esteem. Parents must give more recognition to girls\’ appearance and let their children understand that every kind of beauty is unique. At the same time, we must also encourage children to maintain their individuality and help them discover their own shining points and become more calm and confident. 4. Don’t use words to attack girls. I saw a girl sharing her experience online. The words she heard most since she was a child were: Why did I give birth to such a useless thing like you? She finally passed the second place in the exam and reported the good news with joy, but her mother frowned and said, \”Why don\’t you take the first place in the exam?\” Once, she mustered up the courage to participate in a singing competition, but her mother sarcastically said: \”You are the only one who is like this.\” You have a male duck voice, and signing up is a waste of money.\” Under her mother\’s long-term sarcasm and sarcasm, she became less and less confident in herself. The book \”Raising Girls\” says: \”Girls have a natural radar and are more susceptible to verbal damage.\” When raising a girl, don\’t extinguish the starlight in her eyes with blows and belittling. Only by supporting her more, giving her praise and encouragement can you continue to nourish her and give her the strength to move forward. 5. Don’t put too much pressure on her. Girls’ minds are inherently sensitive and fragile, and they can be easily hurt inside. [Junior-school connection] What are the benefits of young children\’s thinking training? Parents should try their best to create a relaxed atmosphere during a girl\’s growth and not put too much pressure on her. Yu Minhong\’s daughter once ranked 15th in the class. Her mother was very angry and her daughter was emotionally broken. But he smiled and said to his daughter: \”Look at the 40 classmates in your class, you are in 15th place, and there are 25 people behind you. How awesome you are!\” He never asks his daughter for grades, but respects her mood and wishes. , As a result, my daughter became more and more confident and was admitted to the world\’s top prestigious school – the University of Pennsylvania in the United States. Only when parents lower their expectations and provide girls with emotional support in a timely manner can they cultivate a peaceful and stable mentality in girls and help her unleash her unlimited potential. Liu Yu wrote in a letter to her daughter: If you want to be a Wall Street banker, then go for it; but if you just want to be a baker, that’s fine; if you just want to be a zookeeper Member, that’s good too. My daughter, may you grow up slowly. May you have good luck, and if not, may you learn compassion in your misfortunes. May you be loved by many people, and if not, may you learn tolerance in loneliness. May you sleep until you wake up naturally every day for the rest of your life. Every girl is the best gift from God to her parents and deserves their parents\’ most careful care. Give it a like and hope every parent can nourish their daughter\’s childhood with a relaxed and warm family atmosphere.