The truth behind the death of a 14-year-old boy after jumping off a building is revealed: It was not his mother’s two slaps that took away the child’s life

All the problems in children can be traced back to us. It\’s really sad. Because I saw such sad news. According to cover news reports, on Thursday, a third-grade middle school student in Wuhan was slapped in the face by his mother in public and then committed suicide by jumping off a building. Although he was sent to the hospital as soon as possible, he died because his injuries were too severe and rescue efforts failed. The incident originated from: A 14-year-old boy was playing poker at school. He was caught by the teacher and asked his mother to come. It’s not clear how the boy’s mother communicated with the teacher. The picture captured by the surveillance camera is that in the corridor, the mother slapped the child, and the child blocked it. After the mother said a few words very angrily, the boy stood up at attention. The mother reached out and slapped the boy again. Next, the mother must have been very emotional, because she then strangled her son\’s neck, poked his forehead, and muttered something. After his mother left, the boy stood silently in the corridor for two minutes, then suddenly climbed up the railing and jumped from the fifth floor. A 14-year-old boy just left. I\’m so sorry to have known him this way. But I think the person who can’t forgive me the most at this moment should be his mother. Just like the incident of a 17-year-old boy jumping off a bridge in Shanghai, after the child jumped, the whole world expressed sympathy and opinions, but the mother who suffered an emotional breakdown lost her child forever and lived in a state of being unable to forgive herself for the rest of her life. In guilt. Of course the mother is wrong, whether in terms of education or emotional management. However, with just a few words, two slaps, and a push from his mother, did the child choose to end his life? No. Long before this tragedy broke out in such a tragic way, this family had hidden too many parent-child conflicts. Tragedy is nothing more than an extreme way of tearing open a hole in a family and exposing it to the world, and reminding all onlookers: Educational issues are never developed in a day. Children\’s problems are never a matter of conflict. As early as a long time ago, the child was sick, but the parents ignored the illness and refused to seek medical treatment. Behind problem children, there are absent parents. There is a saying in child psychology: \”When you find that your child has a problem, you have actually missed 10 opportunities to correct it with him.\” If there is a camera, it can record the growth of a child from the time he is born. Trajectory, we will find: when a child has a certain problem, he has actually asked adults for help many times. For example, a child\’s inattention is due to the fact that adults have not given him a quiet and orderly environment for a long time. His attention is always attracted by noisy sounds, and until the end he cannot calm down for even 5 minutes. For example, if a child is irritable, crying, and unreasonable, it is because adults do not have the patience to communicate with him, or they are used to feeding him with pampering that \”just cries will satisfy him\” until he uses this to blackmail adults. For example, children are particularly obsessed with mobile games. When adults are busy, they throw mobile phones to children to escape the fatigue of companionship. In addition, in the vague rules, children feel that it is okay to play casually. The prototypes of problems in children can be seen in us, and the root causes of the problems can also be found in our families. At onceFor example, in the case of a 14-year-old boy jumping off a building in Wuhan, the mother\’s collapse and beating of her child in public is highly likely to not only happen here and now. Just like your family, your child is obsessed with mobile games. When he was with his grandparents since he was a child, he could play on his mobile phone whenever he wanted, watch TV when he wanted, eat alone when he wanted, and even beat adults if he wanted. questionable. He grew up without rules, so of course he doesn’t understand the world; he was raised like an ancestor, so he certainly doesn’t have empathy for others; he has never had his mistakes pointed out, so of course he can’t understand right and wrong while being corrected. Why do all education experts and psychologists say that 0-6 years old is a critical period for children\’s growth? Because it is the first stroke of a blank piece of paper, the first paragraph of a text, the first step of an angel, the first stage of habit formation, and the first bridge between parents and children. It is very sad that many parents, due to various reasons, did not provide safe and adequate companionship to their children before they were 6 years old. When their children had problems, they accused them with great disgust: \”Why are you like this? Why are you like that? You are too much.\” Embarrass me! How could I have a child like you!\” Such parents are not qualified to dislike their children, but must apologize to their children. Because every child with problems is shouting to his parents by hurting himself: \”Mom and Dad, see me, I am sick, and you need to spend some time to take me out of the swamp of bad habits, otherwise I will You will become addicted.\” Seeing your child, seeing all his problems today, are all hostility towards you being absent for too long. Don\’t just label him as \”bad\”, \”rebellious\” or \”degenerate\”. You know that you are also part of all the problems he has today. Accept him as tolerantly as you would a newborn, guide him from the first good habit, give him time, and give him affirmation, so that he can take the initiative to change himself in your eyes. Only after you do this with your mentality can you do the next thing with your actions – saving a child is actually about smoothing out the relationships around him. Everyone\’s inner world is a reflection of the relationships he is in. Therefore, to save or cure a child, what needs to be treated is not the child, but the relationship around him, to be precise, the relationship between him and his parents. Many parents fail to see this. When they discover that their children have problems, they rush to seek medical treatment, thinking that it is all the child\’s fault. They even send their children to scammers like Yang Yongxin, which will only destroy the child with their own hands. Your child has been raised by his grandparents since he was a child. Although you are his parents, your grandparents are more like his psychological parents. After he entered adolescence, you brought him around, labeled him as \”bad\”, and arbitrarily cut off his relationship with the old man, but you didn\’t have the time, patience or method to repair the relationship between you and him. . This child, when the relationship is suddenly broken, will be at a loss and extremely rebellious. He has left his doting grandparents, and lacks intimacy and trust in you. In loneliness and helplessness, he must grasp something to establish a relationship that is infinitely tolerant and accepting. Mobile phones and games have become substitutes. In reality, he is unable to establish sustained and intimate love with those close to him. in the game,He has built a fragile and obsessed network with illusory people. You must know that every child who is addicted to online games is actually a teenager who is disappointed with reality. To be precise, he is a teenager who is disappointed with his parents. Stop scolding your child in a stubborn way: \”Why are you so obsessed with games?\” Step by step, accompany him to return to reality and connect with people. Exercise with him, take him to travel, read with him, invite him to participate in family affairs, listen to his ideas, let him make decisions, and let him understand through experience and experience – beyond the confines of a mobile phone , it turns out there are so many fun and interesting things. Accept that he will still make mistakes, get addicted, fish for three days and dry the net for two days, and take three steps forward and two steps back, but you must encourage him to get better step by step. In the habit, rebuild yourself. The more you walk, the small steps become big steps, and the child becomes a good child. Only by doing this in action can you reach the third stage – giving you all the tenderness, but I also have moments of firmness. In recent years, the outbreak of self-mutilation and suicide among children has left many parents confused: I really don’t know how to take care of their children! If you control yourself too much, your children will jump off the building! I don\’t care about him, but I\’m afraid he will go astray! In fact, there is no need to worry too much. There have always been incidents of teenagers committing suicide, whether in the past or now, whether abroad or domestically. Because problem families have never disappeared. In recent years, the rapid development of the Internet and the rapid spread of information, as well as educational anxiety, have amplified such tragic events in discussions time and time again. In terms of probability, these events are always extreme events with a low probability. As long as you truly love your child, there is a high probability that he will grow into a healthy and open-minded person. So, what is true love? Tender yet firm love. In daily life, give children all the gentleness and patience, acceptance and encouragement, sharing and companionship instead of preaching and nagging, control and kidnapping. In terms of specific matters, children should be given firm principles and boundaries. If they do something right, they should be praised loudly. If they do something wrong, they should be pointed out clearly. If they break their promise, they will be severely punished. If they violate the rules, they will pay the price. The simplest example is that you agree to only play the game for 20 minutes, and you must put down your phone when the time is up. Otherwise, you will lose the next 20-minute opportunity. Parents must practice what they say and their actions must have consequences. Children will have a clear understanding of themselves and understand themselves clearly. A mother named \”Sister Jin\” shared the story of her child after a 14-year-old boy jumped from a building in Wuhan: \”My son is also a troubled child. When I was in middle school, I was invited to school many times by the teacher to As for being nervous when I saw the teacher’s phone call, I didn’t accuse or beat my children because of it. When I was a freshman in high school, I received a call from my teacher saying that my kid had forged his day pass (he was a boarding student) and sneaked out of school many times, and he was finally caught that day. I I was in another city at the time. I explained the situation to the teacher and set off immediately. I didn’t arrive at school until 10:30 in the evening. I carefully asked the teacher how my child was doing, and the teacher said he was forced to stand outside. I saw my child standing upright in the corridor. inside. When he saw me, he called out \”Mom\”. I asked him if he had eaten, and he said no. When I went to the teacher\’s office, he wasThe punishment result was informed that he would be suspended from school for 3 days and given a demerit. I accepted it calmly, apologized to the teacher, took the boy away, and handed him the food I bought for him on the road. For three days at home, I didn’t mention this matter a word. On the fourth day, I sent him to school. After entering the school gate, I asked him, tell me how you battled wits and courage with the security uncle. The Hunzi laughed and told the story from beginning to end. In fact, he didn\’t do much, just went for a walk or bought a drink. I said why bother? A person\’s archives should accompany him for life, and he should cherish his honor. By the way, I told him, \”Mom\’s eyesight is bad. She rushed to school that day and was anxious. Driving on the highway at night, if something happens, how will you live your life.\” From then on, Zai never caused any trouble to me. \”Yes. If you want to be accepted by your children, accept them first. If you want to be loved by your children, love your children first. If you want to get good results, sow good causes first. Finally, how to get along with children? There are two principles. Chapter 1 One principle is that when a child makes a mistake, he should be treated as a child. In other words, he is a child, still growing, with limited cognitive level and insufficient self-control ability. These are all things that require him to slowly learn and What you learned from your parents’ teachings, please be more tolerant and patient. The second principle is that when you criticize a child, you must treat him as an adult. From an adult’s perspective, think about you If anything, would it hurt the self-esteem of adults? Children are also human beings. As long as they are human beings, they will be sad when they are scolded, angry when not respected, resentful when wronged, and resentful when not understood. There is pain. Teach some tips for parents to talk to their children: Please don’t say: I am talking to you, what’s wrong with your child? Please say this: I feel that you are worried today, can you tell me about it? ? See if dad (mom) can help you. Please don’t say: Go back to your room, it’s so late, stop playing, do you hear me? I’ve said it several times! Please say this: There are still ten minutes It’s time to go to bed. Should you brush your teeth or wash your face first? Please don’t say: What do children know? Why are you so stubborn? I’m all for your own good! Please say this: You can say no, but I need to know what you said I can only understand you if you don\’t have a reason! There is a book called \”Why Family Hurts People\”, and the scenes written in it are really painful. You give your child hate, but you hope to get love from him; You give your child pain, but you expect to gain gratitude from him; you give your child a shadow, but you expect that he will always be positive and have no shadow; this is never possible. Kahlil Gibran wrote a very famous poem: Your children are not Your children, they are children born of life’s desire for itself. They came to this world with the help of you, but not because of you. They are by your side, but they do not belong to you. I hope all parents can understand this Reason: Children are not our accessories, let alone the trash can of our emotions. Stop doing things that hurt children in the name of love! Give it a thumbs up, I hope you and I will understand.