The upbringing of children has nothing to do with family circumstances, but everything to do with family tradition

\”Fu Lei Family Letters\” is a collection of letters between the famous Chinese translator Mr. Fu Lei and his eldest son, the world-famous piano master Fu Cong, spanning more than ten years. It contains the letters between Fu Lei, his wife and Fu Cong from 1954 to 1966. It is a good example of quality education. It is a classic model and a famous article about teaching children full of father\’s love. In Fu Cong\’s growth path, his family had a very special impact on him. He has said many times that his achievements are inseparable from the education given to him by his family. No matter on the path of art or life, his parents have always been his two bright lights. Fu Lei\’s education to Fu Cong always adheres to the educational background of \”be a human being first\”. He believes that education should focus on personality education, followed by knowledge. On the basis of good personality, children are also required to improve their spiritual world based on comprehensive literary and artistic accomplishments. Fu Cong once said: \”\”Family Letter\” summarizes in words everything I have felt around my father since I was a child.\” \”Fu Lei Family Letter\” can not only understand the growth process of a generation of piano master Fu Cong from the dialogue between two generations, but more importantly, It is a spiritual world where you can feel the traditional Chinese scholarly family, and you will definitely benefit a lot from it. Next, let us open this family letter and read the Fu family’s stories and the precious life records in it. Strict moral education and loose artistic freedom In 1934, Fu Cong was born in a traditional scholarly family in Shanghai. In his memory, his father Fu Lei was a serious, serious and meticulous person. When he was young, his father rarely laughed or laughed at him, nor did he appreciate his naughty behavior. This made Fu Cong always cautious in front of him and did not dare to be willful. When Fu Cong reached school age, Shanghai was surrounded by Japanese invading troops. Fu Lei personally wrote teaching materials, formulated a curriculum for Fu Cong, and taught him personally at home. Fu Lei is both a strict teacher and a strict father. His strict moral education for Fu Cong is detailed in every aspect of life. When dining, Fu Lei will always pay attention to Fu Cong\’s sitting posture, whether the position of his elbows at the table is obstructing the people at the same table, whether chewing the food makes a rude chewing sound, etc.; when he was a child, Fu Cong only loved to eat meat. , didn\’t like to eat vegetables, so his father once punished him to only eat white rice. But Fu Lei has not always been so \”unhuman\”. One time, Fu Cong was practicing the piano. When he got tired, he left the piano score and played the tune he made up. Fu Lei, who was working on the second floor, heard this and came out. Fu Cong was so frightened that he quickly played according to the music score. But his father did not punish him. Instead, he encouraged him to play the tune he had just composed and recorded the tune himself with a blank staff, saying that it was an excellent creation. Fu Lei never restrained Fu Cong in terms of art and creativity, but carefully protected his artistic creativity while strictly educating him on his moral character. With careful guidance, Fu Cong was not only guided to become a young man with noble moral character and integrity, but also encouraged to become an artist with independent self-spirit. Growing up in such an educational environment, Fu Cong quickly showed outstanding talents in the piano field. In 1954, 20-year-old Fu Cong was selected by the Ministry of Culture and was given the opportunity to further his studies in Poland. On the day Fu Cong left, Fu Lei tossed and turned and couldn\’t sleep all night, looking back on his feelings for Fu Cong in the past twenty years.I suddenly felt that Fu Cong should not have been so strict with him in his childhood, but I also understood that Fu Cong\’s achievements today are inseparable from his strict requirements. He wrote these reflections and self-refutations in a letter home without reservation, and said to Fu Cong: \”My child, how can I hug you to express my regret and love? You don\’t know how much more profound meaning you have added to my life. Experience, although we will be together less and less in the future, I will be warm in spirit and not lonely.\” Montesquieu once said: \”Treating people is like trees. If they are not cultivated well, it will be difficult to thrive.\” If you want your children to grow upright, parents must strictly control their character and quality; they must also be careful not to erase their children\’s creative nature. Only by accurately grasping this \”degree\” can children grow into pillars of talent. I pity the hearts of parents in the world. On the way of children\’s growth, parents are always in a dilemma. The control of \”strictness\” and \”looseness\” is the aspect that parents should pay most attention to. The purpose of education is to enable young people to educate themselves throughout their lives. Poland is the hometown of Chopin. After Fu Cong came to Poland, he was deeply attracted by the artistic atmosphere here. However, the Polish language he had not yet mastered and the foreign environment that was difficult to adapt to became a problem. to prevent him from studying with peace of mind. In this regard, Fu Lei listed three things that Fu Cong needs to pay attention to when studying. First, learn to organize your time. \”Because your life will be as busy as mine in the future, maybe even busier. If you cannot fully grasp time and prioritize things, everything for you will be compromised.\” Furthermore, you must be patient and prioritize when learning. \”When it comes to learning, be patient and don\’t rush it. The calmer you are, the better your results will be. If you admit that you are stupid at all times and are not afraid of doing stupid things, you will not expect too much and panic if you don\’t make progress.\” Finally, Learning is the process of reviewing the past and learning something new. \”No knowledge is instant, especially language. If you stop taking new classes now and review what you have already learned from the beginning, I dare to say that you will find that many of them have been completely forgotten.\” Fu Lei\’s instructions, although not It directly solves Fu Cong\’s learning problem, but provides him with a general direction for solving the problem. By grasping these general directions, no matter what new knowledge you need to learn, you can plan your way forward in life. Especially in a modern society with an explosion of knowledge, it is indeed difficult for parents to keep up with the pace of their children\’s learning. The knowledge that children need to learn changes with each passing day, and parents often feel that they are unable to do so and find it difficult to provide guidance. But in the Oxford English Dictionary, education is defined as \”the process of nourishment and nurturing.\” In other words, the fundamental goal of education is to enable those who receive education to develop themselves. Receiving education is a process in which people are improved in an environment, and the only possible form of development for people is self-development. What others, such as families and parents, can do is to promote the self-development of children. Human self-development is a lifelong career. Fu Lei wrote in his home letter: \”It is very difficult to persist in self-education throughout your life, but it is worth striving for.\” Therefore, the most important education for parents to their children is to help them develop good study habits. Lead them to become self-taught people. Once you develop good study habits, no matter what you encounter,The ability to handle and digest any situation is the basis for a person\’s self-development. Critical spirit is a powerful weapon for self-improvement. After nearly a year of hard study in Poland, Fu Cong participated in the 5th Chopin International Piano Competition in 1955. This is one of the highest-level competitions in the piano world. In this competition, Fu Cong performed amazingly and won the third place and the \”Mazurka\” Grand Prize. This is the first time an Oriental has achieved this in the Chopin Competition. Outstanding results. The good news spread across the ocean and returned to China, and Fu Lei and his wife were unbearably excited. \”It\’s hard for you, dear child! You have lived up to everyone\’s expectations and the trust of the motherland! A star has risen in the east, so bright, so pure! So profound!\” But there are not many such words of praise, Fu Lei The conversation changed and he became a \”black face\” again. \”The road to life is still long. This is just a glorious beginning. Complacency and pride must not be allowed to rise.\” Fu Lei is a disciple of Chinese Confucianism. When he encounters particularly happy things, he always has the feeling of \”as if he were here\”. The feeling of solemnity, danger, and caution in the abyss, like walking on thin ice. Fu Cong\’s piano career has blossomed for the first time, which makes him both excited and worried, so he gives more instructions. Fu Cong\’s glorious movement is being played nervously and orderly internationally. With each concert held, he has received more and more international appreciation and attention. Young Fu Cong happily relayed the praises he received from critics to his father, but his father\’s reply always mentioned one word – \”self-criticism.\” \”You have to analyze your weaknesses and tell us the shortcomings that others have not mentioned but you feel. Reporting others\’ praise to us is your greatest comfort to us, but at the same time you must deeply examine your own shortcomings.\” Fu Lei He wrote: \”The spirit of self-criticism is a powerful weapon for progress. It can cultivate a calm scientific mind, treat yourself, people, and things equally, and make unbiased reviews.\” When I was young, my parents were A mirror for children, children reflect on themselves from the example of their parents and learn what is right and what is wrong. Later, as the child slowly explores independence, the parents become the reins holding the child. When the child goes astray, they pull him and help him straighten his direction. Tell them what is right and what is wrong. When children can recognize themselves and move forward, parents have to change from \”a rein\” to \”spectators on the sidelines\”. It is very wise to remind children to maintain self-criticism instead of pointing fingers and talking about right and wrong. education. Only by allowing children to develop the habit of self-criticism and have a clear understanding of their true selves can they develop a normal mind that is unfazed by favors and disgrace. As Fu Lei wrote in the letter: \”The crisis of a talented person is that he is easy to be self-righteous. Therefore, the higher the talent, the more careful you must be, enrich it with solid knowledge, and use calm and objective criticism. Spirit, constantly check yourself. Only by truly doing this and continuing to do it throughout your life can you become a true artist.\” Teaching by example is more important than words. Parents are the first mirror of their children, even if Fu Cong is no longer there as an adult. Around me, Fu Lei also often writes letters to help Fu Congshu.Set an example to follow. Fu Lei said: \”The most powerful argument in the world is practical action, and the most effective education is to lead by example.\” Once, the handwriting of a letter sent by Fu Cong was not correct enough. When Fu Lei replied, he deliberately chose a letter that was much smaller than usual. Replying to a piece of letter paper, he still managed to write neatly, in order to urge Fu Cong to develop a good habit of neat writing. He said: \”Everyday trivial matters must be done neatly, and so should writing letters. The style of life should be consistent, otherwise it will be inconsistent. And people who are engaged in art should hate being inconsistent. All small things must develop clean habits, It is also beneficial to your art. Because no matter how small and insignificant things are, they all reflect a person\’s consciousness and temperament. Modifying small habits is equivalent to modifying one\’s own consciousness and temperament.\” \”Love\” and \”people\” are educational Background Fu Lei\’s education to Fu Cong has always been based on becoming an outstanding \”person\”. Fu Lei wrote: \”What I mean by \’being a human being\’ is in a broad sense, including both private and public ethics. It is mainly responsible for the collective, the country, and the people.\” \”Be a person first, an artist next, a musician next, and a pianist finally.\” This is Fu Lei\’s expectation for Fu Cong. In Fu Lei\’s view, a true artist must be a person with an innocent heart, who knows the honor and disgrace of the country, the dignity of art, can treat everything with a serious attitude, and is a person with both moral and artistic skills and excellent personality. And the innocent heart not only refers to purity and freshness, but also refers to love. This love is not from mother-in-law or mother, but is warm, sincere, white and noble. He always asked Fu Cong to use \”love\” as the basis for establishing personality. In your interactions with relatives, friends, teachers and friends, you must prove your intentions with practical actions. \”Only facts can prove your intentions, and only actions can show your intentions. I hope you will remember this for the rest of your life from now on, and you must account for everything big or small.\” While immersing yourself in the art world, you must also express your love. Engage in life and care about the world, country and people. \”You have to care about the knowledge and current situation outside Qin. In terms of personality development, the all-round development of young people is very important.\” \”A person\’s service to the people does not necessarily have to be an earth-shattering undertaking, anytime, anywhere, bit by bit. Telling others what you know and think about is invisibly sowing seeds and fertilizing the country.\” Regarding the management of real life, we must regard it as important as artistic life, and we must not favor one over the other. Because art is rooted in life, and life is the most profound art. Fu Lei has always guided Fu Cong on a \”human\” path, educating him to become an artist of life. This allows his art to maintain the irrigation and vitality of the source of living water. From Fu Lei\’s teachings to children, we can see the two positive impacts that family education should have on children. One aspect is to guide children to develop into a social member who is useful to others and self-sufficient. One aspect is to guide children to improve their spiritual taste and become people who can appreciate beauty, art and life. People are a collection of environmental influences. The family is the first soil for children. What kind of soil produces what kind of fruit? The education parents give their childrenIt is always school and society cannot replace it. In \”Fu Lei\’s Family Letter\”, Fu Lei once said to Fu Cong: \”Writing a lengthy letter to you is not empty chatter, nor is it inexplicable gossip, but it has several functions.\” \”First, I do. Treat you as an opponent when discussing art and music. Secondly, I really want to stimulate some of your young people’s feelings, so that I, as a father, can get some fresh nourishment, and at the same time, I can also indirectly spread it to other young people. Thirdly, I want to borrow some ideas from you. Communication trains you – not only your writing skills, but especially your thoughts. Fourth, I want to give you a wake-up call at all times and everywhere, and be a \’faithful mirror\’, both in terms of life and in the details of life. , in terms of artistic accomplishment, and in terms of playing posture.\” His good intentions for his children are evident in his words and expressions. After nearly 70 years, they are still shining brightly today. Fu Lei once translated this passage by Romain Rolland: \”You people living today, you young people, it is your turn now! Step on our bodies and move forward. I hope you are greater and more powerful than us. Happiness.\” As our ancestors said, we young people in the new era should become young people who can educate themselves throughout our lives. We should not only have the enthusiasm to hold up books, but also have the humanity to express our sincerity.