The way you deal with your child\’s \”bad habits\” determines your child\’s life

My best friend called me last night and told me that she and her husband had a big fight. The couple became so anxious that they smashed almost everything they could reach. When I arrived, I saw my best friend sitting on the cold floor, leaning against the wall and crying, while the man was smoking silently on the balcony. I walked over to my best friend, sat down, and asked her in a low voice: Does he have someone for such a big battle? After hearing this, my best friend pushed me and couldn\’t help but burst into tears. Don\’t lie, it\’s not all because of the children. Looking at the mess in the house, I felt even more unbelievable: Isn\’t this the result of the impulsiveness of you and your wife? What does it have to do with children? It turned out that she enrolled her child in a weekend study class. But it was time to set off in the morning, and the study clothes I had washed for my children to wear could not be found. When the child got anxious, she turned over the wardrobe that she had just packed for the change of seasons. Not to mention cleaning up in vain, a \”hill\” was piled up again on the bed in the bedroom. Unexpectedly, the coat they had been looking for for a long time was hanging \”properly\” on the hanger at the door. My best friend was so angry that she came up to the child and scolded her: \”How many times have I told you, \’Don\’t leave your clothes lying around, don\’t throw your things around\’! I worked so hard to tidy up the wardrobe, and I just let you go back to Jiefang overnight.\” I\’m here…\” At this time, my husband, who was waiting to drop off the child in the car downstairs, couldn\’t sit still anymore. When I came up to hear the whole story, I felt that my best friend was making a fuss. \”Things are messed up, why don\’t we just clean them up? As for yelling at the children?!\” As a result, her husband said, and put the half-used glass of water that had just been used to clean the car on the kitchen stove. superior. Seeing the \”exactly the same\” words and deeds of the father and son before and after, the best friend was naturally very angry. Thus, there was the conflict scene \”staged\” at the beginning. An organization once conducted a survey on parents’ “parenting troubles.” It was found that almost every parent mentioned the bad habit of \”children throwing things around\” in their answers. But 90% of parents may not know: How you deal with your child\’s \”bad habits\” determines what kind of life he will have in 20 years. Visitors often complain to me about their children\’s \”bad habits\”: procrastinating and half-heartedly doing homework; throwing things around and asking adults for them later; the room is so messy that you can even smell a strange smell when you walk in… , this is a reflection of children\’s laziness, lack of self-discipline, and poor concentration. If you have time, go to the classroom and look at the children\’s desks and you will understand. For those children who are not focused on studying, even if their seats are \”deliberately\” arranged by the class teacher to both sides of the podium, the table is still messy. When the school bell rang, I lazily picked up the schoolbag on the floor and started looking around… The desk of the \”student master\” was always clean, tidy and orderly. This is certainly no coincidence. I always hear parents say: My children are not stupid either, so why do they have so much difficulty studying? The answer is actually very simple. It\’s because the child\’s thoughts are too \”messy\”. The teacher was highlighting the key points, but he was looking for the wrong question book; the classmates were listening, but he was in a daze; there were a lot of red, blue, and black pens, but when he needed to use them, he couldn\’t find any of them… In other words, a person who is used to \”throwing around\” It’s hard to treat children who “leave things around”Have a clear plan for what you want to do. When I was in school, I didn’t plan my homework well. When you really enter society in the future, it will be difficult to plan your life. Child psychologist Rudolf Drakes wrote in the book \”Children: The Challenge\”: \”We cannot protect children for their entire lives, nor do we want to do so. But we have the responsibility and obligation to train and cultivate children themselves Have the courage and strength to face the ups and downs of life.” But many parents don’t know how to train and nurture them. Let’s take a look at what Peking University, a top university, does? Every year at the beginning of the school year, the first required course for freshmen at Peking University is neither a professional course nor a club activity, but a unified study and organization. The process of learning to organize is actually telling children: How should we plan our lives? Only by sorting out life first and developing good habits will your child\’s future life be better and better. Studies have found that 99% of children’s living habits come from their families. Just like my best friend\’s husband. When I get home from get off work, the first thing I do is to take off my smelly socks and throw them around; I also randomly pile the glass of water with the camellia sauce and vinegar in the kitchen… It is said that parents are the mirror of their children. The parents are sloppy and the children follow their example. Only when parents are capable and neat will their children be smart! So, what can parents do to really let their children learn to tidy up and benefit from it? Here I will teach you a three-word formula suitable for parent-child tidying up ~ easy to remember and practical! The first word is \”reason\”. \”Li\” means to clean up. Which things belong to the child and which belong to the adults? Which books are study-related and which are for leisure? Which clothes are worn frequently and which are out of season? In the process of \”cleaning up\” our children, we must know how to delegate authority. As a parent, we don’t do everything or replace things. In this way, children can develop a clear sense of property rights. In addition, taking on household chores can also help children become more responsible and have a sense of belonging. The second word is \”home\”. \”Giving up\” means choosing and giving up. While \”cleaning up\”, we should also help children learn to \”subtract\” unnecessary items. I have seen many parents who take it upon themselves to \”help\” their children clean up. As a result, they got into a huge quarrel because they lost something that the child cared about. Let your child learn to tidy up, which actually means respecting his personal space and boundaries. The correct approach for parents is to guide their children to see the current situation, which includes a lot of clutter, infrequently used items, and accumulation of dust… as well as possible situations that may arise in the future, such as a messy room that affects their mood, etc. The third word is \”ding\”. \”Ding\” means \”things return to their original place\”. Easy to hold and place, visible at a glance. Slowly, children will develop good habits of planning their lives. But how to \”set\” it depends on the child\’s usual usage habits and methods. Parents can provide advice. For example, place frequently used items where they are easiest to access. Or make labels and store them according to different categories. After years of research, Harvard Business School has found that unfortunate people usually live in messy and dirty homes; while successful people with a strong sense of happiness tend to have very clean and tidy home environments. \”Compulsory Education Labor Curriculum Standards (2022 Edition)\” issued by the Ministry of Education)》Same requirements: From the beginning of school, primary and secondary school students must learn to organize and store. Raising children is like planting trees. Only when parents use the right methods can children flourish. Click \”Like\”, learn to organize, and benefit your children for a lifetime.