When it comes to parenting, do you have your own opinions? Then do you know what qualities in a mother can make our children better day by day? It would be good for a mother to have one of the following four qualities. 1: Emotional stability A few days ago, Cuckoo’s mother took Bunniu to play in the park. Next to me, a mother was playing in the sand with her daughter. Suddenly, the girl grabbed the sand in her hand and threw it gorgeously towards her head. As a result, both the girl and her mother received a \”sand bath.\” Their heads, clothes, and necks were all stained with fine sand. It\’s over, this kid will definitely be beaten. Cuckoo\’s mother thought silently. Unexpectedly, my mother, on the verge of an attack, took a few deep breaths, and then said: \”Baby, if sand is thrown into the sky, it will fall on people. Look, we are all covered in it now, right? This will make us It\’s very uncomfortable.\” Then she grabbed her daughter\’s hand and taught her step by step: \”If you really want to throw it, we can throw it gently into the sand pool without hurting yourself or others. Do you know?\” The girl immediately became happy: \”I know, Mom, I will throw it like this from now on.\” Cuckoo\’s mother who saw this scene couldn\’t help but want to applaud her mother: to stabilize her mood and \”teach her.\” \”How do children do it correctly\” instead of losing their temper? He is really a master of raising children! Children who are emotionally stable mothers generally do well. \”Developmental Psychology\” points out that the emotional stability of the family environment is the cornerstone of children\’s social and emotional development. With an emotionally stable family atmosphere, children can learn how to manage their emotions effectively. He has high emotional intelligence, strong ability to control emotions, and is not carried away by emotions all the time. It will be difficult for a child with such a stable personality to have no future when he enters society in the future! To be an emotionally stable mother, we can also learn from the mother above. Whenever our child \”does something bad\” and we want to lose our temper, we might as well take a deep breath and teach him the correct approach. The more times we teach, the less likely we will lose our temper in the future. If we lose our temper less, we will live healthier and more cheerful lives, right? Two: Be good at motivating children. When doing parent-child activities in Bunniu Garden, one of the projects is rock climbing. Many children have not even climbed a few steps up before crying for their father and mother and insisting on coming down. There was a little boy who looked down hesitantly when he was halfway up. His father did not shout: \”Forget it if you can\’t crawl.\” Instead, he encouraged him: \”Son, try to take another step forward. Dad believes you can keep taking another step!\” The boy really continued to take a step forward. The father repeated the same words, and just like that, the boy really climbed to the top with the goal of \”taking one more step\”. He also became the only child in the audience who persisted in climbing to the finish line. Cuckoo’s mother was particularly impressed at that time. This father’s encouragement method was so amazing! He didn\’t draw a big pie and said, \”I\’ll buy you toys when I climb to the top.\” There is no empty talk, such as \”I believe you can do it\”. Instead, use small goals within reach to motivate children step by step. There is a term in psychology called \”Zone of Proximal Development\”. Cuckoo’s mother calls it “an apple that can be picked by standing on tiptoes.” In other words, as long as the child works a little harder, he can achieve that goal. We inspire children,You can use this \”Zone of Proximal Development\” theory more often. Don\’t set a long-term goal for him before he has even started. The child will be scared away before he even works hard. And use this \”you can do it by standing on tiptoes\” motivation method to let children see that the goal is right in front of them, and they can do it with a little effort. For example, with small goals such as \”get 5 ahead next time\”, \”read 5 minutes more than yesterday\”, \”go to bed 10 minutes earlier tonight\”, the child will be able to make progress step by step and become better day by day. Three: Listen more to your children. We often say to our children: \”You have to be obedient.\” But in fact, our children also want to say to us: \”Mom, listen more to what I say.\” You should listen more to what your children are saying. , the more you can understand his situation, the more you know what he encounters, what he is thinking, and what he is afraid of liking. This can bring us closer to our children, and you won\’t feel like \”the children are not close to me.\” Openness and communication skills mean understanding and accepting your child\’s feelings and communicating beyond their words. Attachment psychology believes that secure attachment comes from continuous and deep communication. If we listen more to our children, we can help them build a sense of trust in the outside world. When he encounters something or a difficulty in life, he is willing to talk to us instead of holding it back and saying nothing. It\’s like home is an island. Our listening is the bridge connecting the island and the outside world. The more we listen and communicate with our children, the stronger the bridges become and the safer our children will feel. On the other hand, if the bridge is crumbling, we will not even be willing to build the bridge. When the child encounters a problem, he may choose to stay on his own island, unwilling to share, and afraid to go out to explore. When we listen, we should interrupt less, don\’t rush to judge him, don\’t rush to get angry, and listen patiently. The child may only need an audience, and he can solve the rest of the problem himself. Four: Willing to grow with your children. The most important way for children to learn is to imitate. If we adults encounter a problem, we always shrink back and give up halfway. It is easy for that child to imitate. When he encounters difficulties in study and life, he is likely to throw his hands at each other and say: \”I can\’t do it.\” But if he sees that we have a spirit of study and encounter difficulties, he will study first and work hard. Get things done. He will also see growth as a part of life that is critical to his lifelong development. Is it like exploring in a forest with no path? Create a new trail! When the child sees us leading the way, he will naturally learn and explore along with us. This spirit of learning and growth is a valuable asset for your child’s future! Becoming an excellent mother is actually not that difficult. We can learn and apply it flexibly, such as using the \”Zone of Proximal Development\”, referring to the 4 points above, and moving forward a small step at a time. If we persevere, we will be able to become a mother who can make her children become better and better. Mom has the above 4 qualities, which can make her children better and better day by day. Which quality do you most want to have?
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