There are 9 principles on how to cultivate excellent children. How many do you believe in?

The book Peaceful Parents and Happy Children was written by Dr. Laura Markham, who has provided parenting guidance to countless families. This revolutionary guide helps parents better understand and manage their emotions, and raise great children through reasonable limits, empathy, and clear communication. This time we focus on the nine principles in the book about raising outstanding children. In a large number of real-life cases, what parents are most concerned about is what are the important principles for raising excellent children. In the author\’s opinion, the principles developed by families that raise outstanding children are aimed at parents, not at children. 001 Principle 1: Self-management. This is the premise of all principles. You must first fulfill your child\’s requirements; when dealing with children\’s emotional problems, you cannot be emotional first; if you are full of energy, your children can also be directly infected by you. When your heart begins to care for yourself with more compassion, you can also release more love for your children. What needs to be clarified is: no matter what you do, your children will imitate you, including yelling loudly, being sloppy, and complaining wantonly. Parents who can manage themselves well will have a positive impact on their children. 002 Principle 2: Support your children. \”Well, you are right to do this.\” \”You are so good at painting this little flower.\” \”Don\’t worry, take your time.\” Be a supporter of your child and don\’t let him feel that there is a long distance between you. This is The most important parenting responsibility. As a small flower bud, you can\’t expect it to bloom brilliantly overnight. You need to water and fertilize it first. Appreciate your child more and respond to his requests. Every child needs attention and 110% support from parents. This makes every step he takes forward very practical. 003 Principle Three: Avoid Punishment. Give 1 yuan for sweeping the floor, reward an episode of cartoons for finishing homework, go to the zoo on weekends if you go to bed on time… Some parents always like to set weird rules for their children, but this doesn\’t work at all. What if the child completes okay, but fails? Punishment will only make your child\’s behavior worse. Don\’t punish your child, but follow the guidance, set limits on his behavior, and always use feelings as inducements, so that the child can be unconditionally self-disciplined. 004 Principle 4: Accept the crying. Don’t let your first reaction when your child cries: It’s so annoying. The words that came out of my mouth were: \”Stop crying, I\’m so annoyed.\” If you want your child to be able to manage his or her own behavior, he must first be able to manage the emotions behind his behavior. If you want your child to be able to manage his emotions, he must first know that there is a safe place, such as your shoulder, your arms, or your arms, where he can cry or be angry without being stopped by you. If a child\’s \”tantrums\” in childhood are accepted, his understanding of emotion management will be deeper. 005 Principle 5: Basic needs. New parents must have experienced many \”breakdown\” moments, but please remember: in addition to illness, all crying of children is because their basic needs have not been met, such as not sleeping well, not eating enough, and peeing. , cold or hot, lack of sense of security, etc. Therefore, when the crying becomes more intense, parents should not blame each other immediately;Instead, we check them one by one together, feeding them, checking their diapers, holding them in their arms, singing nursery rhymes, etc. There is always a way to calm the children down. 006 Principle 6: Avoid being emotional. In practice, you will find that it is the worst thing to do if you become irritable when your child cries. No matter what your child does, when you notice yourself getting angry, first suppress the anger and then treat him or her calmly. After all, he is immature and is trying his best to learn and grow and needs your tolerance. Don\’t insist on whether his crying is reasonable, because he still can\’t reason with you. By avoiding being emotional, you avoid a major detour on the road to parenting. 007 Principle Seven: Definite Rules. If there is one eternal rule in parenting, it is two words: change. Many parents will find that what worked yesterday will not work today; what can stabilize their children today may not work tomorrow. Therefore, we must have this \”awareness of change\” instead of angrily blaming our children. Your parenting style should change as your child grows, keep learning and experimenting. 008 Principle 8: Keep communicating. New parents often have \”nothing to say\” to their children. This is not because they don\’t love their children, but because they really don\’t know what to say to them. But for young children, language stimulation is good for their brains. Therefore, parents should talk to him more, tease him more, always communicate with his child, and always express your love for him. This is the only way you can have an early impact on your child, and it\’s what he needs most. If you really don’t know what to say, Tang poetry, Song poetry, and fairy tales are all good choices. 009 Principle 9: Parenting expert. Don\’t try to control your child with your will. The best parenting expert is himself. Because what he shows you is always his needs, not yours. As the saying goes, \”you see old age at the age of three\”, your knowledge and social values ​​in childhood are still useful to him. Once he enters school, even in kindergarten, he starts a rapid self-learning mode. All you need to do is listen attentively, watch him change and grow, guide him appropriately and enjoy it. To sum up, \”We hope that our children will become dragons, and we hope that our daughters will become phoenixes.\” Even if parents have high expectations for their children, they must first learn some basic parenting principles and knowledge. In this way, you will not be tired in the process of raising children, and you can also raise excellent children.