There are five levels of parents. Which level are you?

As a teacher, he has been teaching for more than 20 years and has served as lesson preparation team leader, class teacher, and grade director. He is still on the front line of teaching. As a parent, his son was admitted to Tsinghua University with excellent results. He is Li Zibin. He raised three questions and four suggestions, which are applicable to every parent. Today’s article is recommended for every anxious parent to be a rational parent and accompany their children to grow up. Dear parents and friends: I am teacher Li Zibin from Xiangyang No. 4 Middle School, and I am also the parent of a recent high school senior. Some friends say that I am very successful in life. My professional title is a special teacher, my honor is that of a national model worker, my position is the academic director of a prestigious school, my family relationship is loving and my husband is loving, and my education and training are promising for my children. I can only say that I am very happy. I am indeed very happy, and I am often mentioned when chatting with many friends. I try to be as low-key as possible and not be too pretentious. I think a child\’s EQ is more important than IQ, and moral character is more important than ability. If we really discuss it, I think parents mainly need two words to train their children: \”persistence\”. Persist in daily life, persevere in every link, and persevere all the time. Everyone knows the principle of family education. It can be found everywhere on the Internet and WeChat. The key is which parent can persist? I have been a high school class teacher for 14 years, a grade teacher for 2 years, taught graduates of 13 years, and been a father for 19 years. I will communicate with you based on my own personal experience and as a parent and educator. The position of parent comes automatically with the birth of a child and does not need to be appointed by others. Below I would like to ask you three questions and four suggestions. Three questions: The first question is, where is your role as a parent now? The \”Education Reform Must Start with Family Education\” proposed by the People\’s Daily has five levels of parent hierarchy: The first level: being willing to spend money on children. Level 2: Be willing to spend time for your children. The third level: Parents begin to think about the goals of education. The fourth level: Parents improve and improve themselves in order to educate their children. Level 5: Parents do their best to support and encourage their children to become their best selves, and also lead by example to support their children to become their true selves. Regardless of your income, all of you here know how to spend more money on your children to go to prestigious schools. This is better than many people. This makes me full of respect. I will explain at least two points: First, you are discerning because of the educational resources of prestigious schools and the future of your children. The network resources for development are definitely different; secondly, you are personally very successful, because not every family can afford or be willing to contribute. There must be many families in society who do not have this financial resources. You parents have this financial ability. This It is also a manifestation of your success in life. In addition to being willing to spend money for your children, you will also spend time for your children. Will you spend time? Do you still think about education at a higher level, think about your children’s life plans, and think about synchronous learning with your children to accompany their growth? Can you always have a growth conversation with your child? Are your thoughts in tune with your child\’s growth? 52 compulsory lessons for Chinese parents during the critical period of their children\’s growth mp3 I think most parents may spend more on material things and less on spiritual things. Are we parents full of enthusiasm and dreams? Are we parents scientific and rational?Parents, it turned out that they were chivalrous and harmed our children intentionally or unintentionally in the name of father\’s love and mother\’s love, affecting their growth? Now I am listing the ten knives of modern family education. The second question I ask is, which knives of modern education misunderstandings have you unintentionally used? The first knife: too much care, which makes the children not know how to cherish; the second knife: too much nagging, which makes the children rebellious; the third knife: too much intervention, which makes the children lack autonomy; the fourth knife : Too many expectations, making the child unbearable; No. 5 knife: Too much blame, making the child lose motivation; No. 6 knife: Too much accommodation, making the child ignorant of restraint; No. 7 knife: Too much concern , causing the children to threaten their parents; the 8th knife: too much enjoyment, making the children ignorant of frugality; the 9th knife: too much satisfaction, making the children lack happiness; the 10th knife: too much pampering, making the children unable to grow . Do you think that parents will get ideal returns if they give for free? Although we pay without expecting anything in return. We must love our children, and let them feel our love. We must not let love overflow, and we must not do everything in the name of love. Why? ① As children grow up, their changing psychological characteristics place higher demands on the level of tutoring; ② Parents cannot grow up with their children, their level is limited, and their authority has declined; ③ There is little time to get along, opportunities are reduced, and there is a lack of in-depth communication; ④ Educating children in the new era The awareness of democracy, independence, rule of law and rights protection has been enhanced. Say, you can\’t control your child now, and it\’s useless to lose your temper; control, those who were strict in the past may not be able to control them now, and those who were not controlled in the past are not easy to control now. But no matter what happened in the past, we still have to intervene now. Because you are the parent of your child, and you cannot resign or retire from your position for life. You did not care about it before the age of 18, but it will still come to trouble you after the age of 18. Your happiness index for the rest of your life will be the development of your child. Therefore, we parents and friends should not just care about the present happiness but not care about the children. There will be constant worries in the future. As long as the children have a bad life, you will be worried about them for the rest of your life. This is Chinese parents. We know that it is not easy for the school to hold a parent-teacher conference, especially this kind of parent-teacher conference for the whole grade, which is not easy to hold once a semester. Opportunities to attend parent-teacher conferences are rare, so be good at seizing them. 36 skills for parents to communicate with their children HD PDF The third question I asked is, have you prepared lessons in advance for this parent-teacher meeting? Everyone sitting here can at least be sure that putting aside the things at hand and attending the meeting in person is better than not coming. However, we cannot criticize the parents who did not come. Maybe they have many reasons, but we praise the parents who came. Bar. We looked at each other among the parents who came. There were also grandparents and representatives of relatives. There were many mothers and parents. I would like to give a special thumbs up to our fathers for participating in the parent-teacher meeting, and a thumbs up for the couples who participated. There are no officials, big or small, here there are no ranks. They all have one equal title: parents of students. But there are parents who feel uncomfortable, so they don\’t come. They are unwilling to put down their arrogance and spend time for their children. At least they are not competent parents. Why? The parent-teacher conference is a big gathering of educators, and parents are usTeachers are partners in educating your children. How can you educate your children together if your partners don’t come? You don’t want to care about your own children? Expect others to take notice? The teacher can be attentive, but the effect is far from satisfactory. Parents should take the initiative to contact the school, report and understand their children\’s performance to the teachers in a timely manner, so that the school and family can work together to educate their children well. Four Suggestions So what should we as parents pay attention to? First, it is important to trust and cooperate with school teachers. The relationship between teachers, parents and students is like an isosceles triangle. The two lower corners of the triangle are parents and teachers. Our status is equal. The length of teachers and parents can determine the height of students\’ lives. Students are the pinnacle. Regardless of the method or content of activities, they must be centered around students and be student-centered. This is what we pursue in running a school. Since the school determines a rule, there are naturally many considerations. Parents should cooperate, rather than just considering their own special circumstances and criticizing at will. For example, mobile phone management. Under the current circumstances, the use of mobile phones by high school students during school still does more harm than good. As long as the school prohibits it, it will be implemented; school uniforms are required to be worn uniformly to facilitate management and restraint of students\’ behavior, avoid comparisons, and distract energy… The rules are not targeted at which one Many of us parents criticize teachers and school regulations and requirements in front of their children. Isn’t that just causing inconvenience to you? If you do not uphold the authority of the school, put rules first, and be consistent with the school, it will only increase the child\’s resistance and speculation, and ultimately harm the child. I can say that if parents do not respect teachers, your children will not respect teachers at all, and their learning results will not be much better. Some of our parents and friends look down on young teachers, do not respect young head teachers, and speak in a showy tone, but we all come from a young age, and excellence is not directly proportional to age. Don’t bring the rules of the game from officialdom, shopping malls, and society to the campus. Remember: when you go to school, everyone is your parent, regardless of your level or age. The person you communicate with is your teacher, the person who will influence the future development of your family. As a parent, I have been in close contact with his teachers since my son entered kindergarten. Even from the volunteer education department of No. 4 Middle School to the high school department, I have always been low-key and humble. I know that teachers who respect my children also respect myself. At the same time, I In winning the future. If my child is late, he must be held responsible. If he wakes up late, he cannot pretend to be sick. If he is late, he must face punishment. Suhomlinsky, an educator from the former Soviet Union, once said: \”If there is not a high level of educational quality in the entire society, first and foremost in the family, then no matter how hard the teachers work, they will not achieve perfect results. All problems in the school will be solved. It is reflected in the family, and the roots of all difficulties arising in the complex teaching process of the school can be traced back to the family.\” Parents can participate in education but cannot intervene. Teachers and parents are partners in education, and the partnership time is when the children are in school period. Let those who understand education engage in education. No one should become a vulnerable group, but no one can override the strong group. Even if there are any problems, parents can communicate with the school and uphold the school\’s regulations and the teacher\’s authority in front of their children. Me andMy wife has made rules since she had children: ① Both husband and wife are in charge of the child. As long as one is in charge, the other cannot interfere, and no one else is allowed to interfere, regardless of whether it is right or wrong; the purpose is to maintain authority. ② Husband and wife should not have fierce quarrels in front of the children and resolve problems privately; the purpose is to make the children feel safe. ③ Husband and wife cannot criticize each other\’s elders in front of their children, and communicate privately if they have any ideas; the purpose is for the children to respect their elders and be filial. Since we are partners in education, we must work together, trust and cooperate. Second, we must pay attention to strategies in educating children. Did you know that children are growing and changing? Do you know what the child is thinking right now? Can you communicate with your children? Although many parents are eloquent in society and at work, because they do not know the parent-child communication skills, they cannot talk about going together and cannot go together. Over the years, my son and I have been both a strict father and a close friend. I remember the night when my son came back from college on New Year\’s Day in 2017, we, father and son, were lying flat on his bed. The two men chatted for an hour or two on the bedside. I talked about four issues: how to grasp the academic aspects of college and entrepreneurship. , grades and activities, love and starting a family, going abroad and taking postgraduate entrance examinations. I hope you also have this kind of happiness. Sometimes father and son are like brothers, and mother and daughter are like sisters. When the children get older, the traditional tricks are ineffective: fighting may not necessarily win; talking may not necessarily convince; scaring may not scare the big bad wolf. He has hands, he has legs, he has brains, he dares to be impulsive, he dares to do anything regardless of the consequences. How to be a smart parent and how to carry out family education. Download 51 lessons MP3. He is not afraid of anything when he is full of energy. It is not easy to raise a child. Parents and teachers, we are afraid. The child is growing. You must know the difference between what you should control and what you should not. The importance of understanding and respect, how do you usually communicate with middle school children? ① The first thing is to talk about the situation. As the saying goes, \”To lead a cow, you need to lead the cow\’s nose; to fight a snake, you need to hit it seven inches.\” If a parent fails to grasp the point of the conversation and asks him in general terms all day long that he should be like this or that, repeatedly tells him to \”study hard\” as soon as they meet, and talks about clichés all day long, it will be strange that the child will not be annoyed. If parents usually observe more, actively communicate with teachers, and go to the school more often to understand some real and specific situations, then once the conversation is made and the content of \”such a certain day, a certain time, a certain month, a certain place,\” is conclusive and specific, the students will be clicked all of a sudden. If you hit the acupuncture point, you will know that you are really locking him up, and you will not make excuses. If you continue to talk, the effect will be completely different. ② The second is to focus on talking. Students are usually busy studying. They have heavy tasks outside and are tired. When you come home, you are long-winded, tired, and have no breathing space. How can he sit with you calmly? Therefore, we should keep it in mind, pay attention to the occasion, a week or a period of time, find a fixed time and place without interference to focus on the problem, parents prepare lessons in advance, sit with their children solemnly, or do not To speak, when you want to speak, focus on saying it right at once, with strength and depth. ③ The third is to talk about the problem. It is impossible for a growing child to have shortcomings, and the shortcomings manifest themselves in many aspects. When talking to your children, don’t expect to cover everything and develop in an all-round way. It is enough to focus on one or two issues to make breakthroughs.If the time is not right for him, let’s not talk about it. Talking too much and broadening the horizon will not be effective. Discuss matters as they arise. Children are most afraid of bringing up old issues, comparing themselves to other children, making random connections, and making subjective assumptions. In short, understand the child from the perspective of the child, respect him as an equal, persuade him through reasoning, point out the problem while giving him enough face, find the shortcomings and be good at affirming them. Believe in children and give them opportunities to grow and develop. Only then will children gradually understand their parents\’ difficulties and slowly open up their hearts. I hope you will become your child\’s close friend soon. Third, there are three basic educational theories that need to be understood. I think parents and friends often feel sleepy, mainly because they have not fully understood the two major theories. Be a parent who keeps learning. ① Stress and performance theory. Stress and work performance form an inverted U-shaped relationship. Too little pressure is not conducive to motivating people, and too much pressure makes people depressed, resulting in inability to achieve high performance. Therefore, appropriate pressure is required to achieve good work performance. I feel that many students sometimes have inaccurate positioning of themselves and inadequate self-evaluation. Unreasonable pressure is often an important reason for increasing learning anxiety. Students should be given appropriate standards and correct evaluations. Who wouldn’t want to go to Peking University or Tsinghua University? But not everyone can go to Peking University and Tsinghua University. Achieve through hard work, find the feeling of success through realization, and continuously enhance your self-confidence, so that you will continue to make progress. Moderate pressure is motivation, and inappropriate pressure is reactionary power. It does not mean that the pressure becomes more and more powerful. Learn to increase or reduce pressure appropriately depending on the individual. The reason why many of our children\’s grades are unstable is either because their parents put too much pressure or they put too much pressure on themselves, which can lead to swings. Every time you mention your goal, it should be timely. ② The role of nature and nurture in education. The influences on human quality include genetic factors, environmental factors, human subjective initiative, etc. The nativity theory emphasizes heredity and the role of innate genetic factors in human cognitive development, while the nurture theory emphasizes the important role of environment, education, and acquired subjective efforts in human cognitive development. The reason why I remind parents of innate theory is not to emphasize absoluteness, but to warn parents: a golden phoenix cannot fly out of a hen\’s nest. The ugly duckling was not originally hatched from a duck egg, but a swan egg that accidentally fell into a duck\’s nest. No matter how far a child will go, parents must first examine themselves. Their study status back then and their current efforts in life are different for parents, not to mention their children! No longer put all hope of transcendence on children. Learn to increase pressure, reduce pressure appropriately, never lose pressure, use pressure scientifically, and don’t hand over the stress of three generations to your children. The parents here are all about the same age, and their current development is different. Why do we require our children to be the same as other children, or even better than other children? But our efforts on children can shorten the gap, and it can be done that one generation becomes stronger than the next. Of course, those who are born with deficiencies may succeed the day after tomorrow; those who are born with extraordinary talents may be corrupted by the influence of the day after tomorrow. Therefore, current students have individual differences, and most of them have the same IQ. But cleverness can lead to too many mistakes. A little cleverness will make you lucky for a while, but a big wisdom will make you lucky for a lifetime. What is great wisdom? It is the unremitting efforts of the day after tomorrow. In today\’s world, those who are stable and successful are those who look stupider, work harder, and suffer more.people. This is true of life, and so is reading. Sometimes we, as parents, always have a desire to compare and let our children compare with other children. As a result, the relationship between the two generations becomes tense. I would like to advise parents, why don\’t you compare yourself with other parents? If you can\’t do something yourself, do you place your hopes on the next life and expect your children to make up for it? A little too selfish. As educators, we have studied the nature and nurture theories of education. No matter what, although nurture plays a role, genetic genes also play a role. Not only does your appearance be inherited from you, but your reading skills will also be inherited to some extent. Many times, parents don\’t like studying, but they ask their children to work hard, which is a bit too much. So now, for the sake of their children\’s growth, parents have to put on a show to their children, such as having a positive attitude towards life, loving work, liking to learn new knowledge, etc. They complain all day long, wander around, and expect their children to work hard and be proactive. , is your teaching convincing? Some parents always demand that their children should go to 211 or 985 colleges and universities. Are these schools so easy? I would like to ask which school you went to back then. Children can be better than us, which is in line with the concept of evolution, but the requirements are too high, which will inevitably cause pressure on the children, let alone unlimited pressure. It seems that the children\’s goals can only be raised but not lowered. Development must be consistent with one\’s own wishes, is it realistic? If the child\’s temporary development is not as good as we expected, we should stay calm, encourage him more positively, and don\’t express our disappointment in front of the child, otherwise he will become discouraged and broken faster than you. Expectations can grow slowly as the child progresses, but expectations cannot be unlimited. Sometimes it is more effective to keep this expectation in your heart than to talk about it. First of all, we ensure that we have a child who grows up healthy and happy in body and mind. Fourth, children grow up watching their parents’ backs, so provide them with a stable growth environment. Parents attach great importance to family education and are responsible for the healthy development of students throughout their lives. They come from the family, they grow up in the family, and in the future they will create a higher-level family, which will improve the taste of the family, and three generations will produce nobles. So my experience tells me: the relationship between husband and wife is very important, the mother needs training, the father is also very important, family harmony is the most important, and the relationship between parents must be stable. Parents are the big trees and backers of their children. Without parents, there would be no home, let alone a good growing environment. Nowadays, there are many intergenerational guardianships. The elderly take care of their children and can only take care of their daily lives. There are many trusteeships by relatives and friends: can they manage it? Single-parent, reorganized, and divorced families should pay more attention to: Who cares when the ball is kicked? Never create a vacuum. Both parents work out of town and the children are left behind: Home Alone. The mother is at home and the father is away all the time: there is no way around conflict. My point of view is: raising and teaching the children you give birth to is responsible and down-to-earth! Parents should become learning parents, and their learning behavior will have a subtle effect on their children. For families with primary and secondary school students, it is best not to frequently play cards and mahjong at home, and not to be crowded with friends and drink and chat all day long. Instead, they should provide their children with a relatively quiet learning environment. I used to have a family agreement: as long as the children don’t graduate, there will be no card table in the house. I oftenCompete with your children to show off your achievements. For example, after the college entrance examination in 2016, I made an agreement with my son that when my son gets his college notice, I will compile my many years of education research into a monograph. Now it has finally been published and is available in all Xinhua bookstores. The title is \”Watching and Singing in Middle School Education\”, which involves letters from sons, family education, etc. If parents live a positive life, they will not worry about their children not having positive energy. When people reach middle age, they need a career and a family. Children are the continuation of our lives. No matter how vigorous we are outside, we have to return to our families in the end. Raising your own children well and paying attention to their growth can also be regarded as a career. Mothers should do it, and so should fathers. Having one more successful child, one more successful family, and achieving a harmonious society are not also gathering positive energy for society? Let’s talk about some thoughts on family education: 1. You don’t have to be excellent, but you can be very positive. 2. You can live a miserable life, but you show that you love life very much. 3. You can be ordinary, but you can\’t be too mediocre. 4. You often complain and blame others, but you expect your children to be positive, optimistic, and strive for self-improvement? 5. You are idle all day, do you expect your children to work hard and achieve success? 6. You don’t like learning and look down on teachers. Do you expect your children to desire knowledge and respect teachers? 7. Children grow up watching their parents’ backs. 8. Every successful child finds excellent factors in his parents. 9. Every child who fails has an underlying source of failure in his parents. 10. Disciplining children requires parents to be of the same mind and stand in the same position. 11. Caring for children must be rational and scientific so that they can perceive it. 12. Educating children is a career that never retires. …Parents and friends, we hope that our children will become talents, not just in words or thoughts, but also in long-term actions. I say this because I did it. Parents and friends, the process of children\’s academic growth is full of wind, rain and sunshine. We must face it calmly. There is no unchanging society, only our unchanging heart for our children. Parents and friends, what we need first is healthy, happy, and happy children, and then we need children who are adults, talents, and famous. Academic performance is not the only evaluation, look at children\’s growth and future in a diverse way. Must-haves for parents: PEP primary school mathematics lesson plan electronic textbook for grades 1 to 6 + lecture notes, all 12 copies. God has prepared a window to open destiny for everyone who works hard. You must choose the one that suits you best. Grades are not the only thing, but you must study because it is the best at the moment and you need it to enter mainstream society.