There are four types of mothers who harm their children throughout their lives. Which one are you?

There are no children who are not good enough in the world, only parents who are not good enough. We often complain about how bad our children are, but we don’t know that parents are the initiators of their children’s “bad” habits. There is a saying in the book \”The Child is a Philosopher\”: Children are a mirror of their parents. In the mirror, we can see the problems of the parents themselves, the problems between parents and children, and even the problems of the entire family system. Raising children is a spiritual practice for parents, and each person has their own personal experience of the ups and downs. No matter how hard we practice, we cannot become these three types of parents, otherwise our children will suffer for their entire lives. Parents who respond to their children’s requests Some time ago, my friend Lin’s 9-year-old son Haohao ran away from home. The reason why he left home made people laugh and cry because he wanted a mobile phone and his mother did not agree. The child immediately lost his temper and ran out of the door. After his family searched hard for more than ten hours, he returned home leisurely. This is not the first time Haohao has run away from home. Some time ago, Lin scolded him after returning home because he was disturbing his classmates in class, and he ran away from home for 5 hours. A 9-year-old child is already sensible. It is a terrible act to run away from home because he cannot achieve his goals. The reason why Haohao is like this has a lot to do with Lin\’s family model. Haohao was difficult to control when he was young. He would cry if he didn\’t agree to his requests. Sometimes he would throw things on the ground just to buy toys. When Lin\’s husband and mother-in-law saw this, they would scold her, saying that she was \”just for a few dozen yuan.\” Money hurts children.\” After saying it so many times, Lin didn\’t care anymore. She thought it was up to him and she would be sensible when she grew up. She didn\’t expect that she would still be like this at the age of 9. If parents compromise too often, their children will form wrong judgments: As long as they keep crying, they will always get what they want. Once children form this way of thinking, they will only go further and further away from being well-behaved and sensible. In the future, they will become even worse. After becoming addicted, they will never be able to get rid of it. This bad habit will be like a cancer that remains in the child\’s body. Deterioration is the inevitable result. If you are a responsive parent, the best way to correct it is to set rules from now on and tell your children your principles through actions. You can let the child stay in a quiet corner, let him vent as he pleases, accompany him calmly, and wipe the child\’s sweat, but there must be no compromise. In the program \”My Mom is Superman\”, Hu Ke and Xiao Yu\’er went to the supermarket. Xiao Yu\’er wanted to eat chewing gum, but Hu Ke stopped her. As a result, the little fish broke down and cried, trying to attract her mother\’s attention. But Hu Ke stood aside very calmly, waiting quietly for him to cry. When Xiao Yuer realized that crying was of no use, he slowly stopped and finally paid the price before eating. Let children understand adults\’ principles and bottom lines. After repeated several times, they will naturally understand that making trouble unreasonably cannot achieve the goal. Parents who forcibly control their children\’s lives were recorded in CCTV\’s documentary \”Post Zero\”, which recorded such a mother. Since her child was born, she has learned a lot of scientific parenting knowledge. In order to give her child the best conditions for admission, she moved her family near the kindergarten. As the child grew up, he slowly revealed his passion for magic, but his mother turned a blind eye and instead took it upon herself to retaliate for the child.an English summer camp. The reason is that it can make up for children\’s weakness of not liking to interact with each other. I thought that after putting in so much effort, the child\’s future would be smoother and smoother. Unexpectedly, he lost his way, became more and more silent, became more and more afraid of communicating with others, and ignored the concerns of teachers and classmates. respond. The 12-year-old child said in front of the camera: \”Only when you hide behind the sheets will you feel comfortable.\” Many parents have this idea. Because they are worried that their children\’s growth trajectory will deviate, they use the reason of \”for your own good\” to influence them. life. Control disguised as love moves parents but hurts children. A survey by the University of London believes that parents\’ excessive desire to control will be reflected from the parent-child relationship to other close relationships, affecting the children\’s husband-wife relationship and friend relationship… The impact of childhood lasts throughout the child\’s life. Clinical research shows that parents who are too controlling will make their children more likely to develop low self-esteem, cowardice, indifference, negativity and other psychological states. Controlling parents must realize that the best love is to give their children an independent life. Let go of your parents’ authority and communicate with them as equals. 61-year-old Professor Li Meijin once told her own experience. When she first discovered that her daughter was in puppy love, she was as anxious as other parents and worried that her child would be harmed. But after calming down, he chose a special way of communication, which was to write letters. \”Someone loves you, which means you are cute.\” \”What is love in your opinion?\” She chose to discuss the meaning of love with her daughter to further understand her daughter\’s thoughts, and her daughter was also willing to put down her guard and communicate with her mother about her feelings. View. Therefore, we might as well try to let go of our \”absolute authority\” and seriously think about where our children\’s ideas come from. Only by allowing children to explore freely and see the rich world can they build a sense of security. Let them decide for themselves the path they want to take and take that responsibility. Parents who require their children to be \”perfect at all times\” recently watched the movie \”Galaxy Cram School\”, and there was a scene in it that impressed me deeply. In a high school, the principal has always held high standards for every child in the school. In his office, there are hanging top scorers from every school, but among the photos on the wall, there is an empty spot. This vacant seat was originally occupied by his own son, who once became a torchbearer because of his excellent results. In his senior year of high school, he became the school\’s first provincial champion. In a child\’s mind, high scores have become his life. But in his sophomore year, he failed an exam. The child cried at his father\’s window with a test paper and wanted to explain, but his father treated him indifferently because he could not accept this \”not excellent\” child. In the end, because of the great pressure, the child chose to jump off the building, his head was smashed, and he became a fool. The main culprit is not only the failed test paper, but also the excessive expectations of the parents. A high school student from a key middle school once said: \”I am afraid of seeing the expectant eyes of my parents. I am afraid that I will not be able to get into a key university and disappoint them.\” The \”Research Report on Healthy Personality of Chinese Adolescents\” released by the China Population Education Center shows that more than 80% of primary school students have test anxiety, mainly because they are worried about themselves.If you don\’t do well in exams, your parents will beat you and scold you. For most parents, \”hoping for their children to succeed\” may be a desire in their hearts. However, we should not ignore that there are no perfect children in this world. We must realize that only by acknowledging children\’s differences and accepting their imperfections can they change; knowing how to accept their imperfections is a sign of maturity as an adult. I know a couple who are both top students. The man graduated from Tsinghua University and the woman graduated from Renmin University. Both of them have decent jobs, but their son’s grades are very \”losing face\” and he can only study in the class. Ranked medium. But the two of them were not very anxious. They believed that the child had really tried his best, and there was no point in forcing him. It was better to help him develop other specialties. In this world, there is a kind of education that forgives the imperfections of parents. In fact, there is another kind of education, which is to accept the imperfection of children. Acknowledge the child\’s shortcomings, accept the child unconditionally, and let the child follow his own pace, grow up step by step, unhurriedly, unhurriedly, not arrogantly, and step by step. Unknowingly, the child will make progress, and you will be happy. . Parents\’ attitude towards education determines the future height of their children. The height of parents\’ cognition directly determines the child\’s cognition, and almost determines and affects the second half of his life. On the road of life, you can do it again if you make some mistakes, but you can\’t do it with your children\’s education. Children only grow up once, and if you miss it, you can\’t get it back. If you are one of the three types of parents mentioned above, I hope you can see your own problems and slowly correct them. Discover problems as early as possible, make improvements as soon as possible, and work with your children towards a wonderful life.