There are three levels of Chinese parents. Which level are you on?

1. Parents from the lower class: Which is more cruel: being completely free and unable to raise outstanding children, forcing them to learn, or letting them go? Hidden in the plan for the child is the pattern of the parents, and the pattern of the parents determines the future of the child. Parents at the bottom have no life but survival. They are busy making a living every day and have no time to think about their children\’s future. Look at the people selling vegetables and stalls on the street. Children aged 2 or 3 are playing by themselves. Some are holding vegetable leaves in their hands and playing with them over and over. Some are holding mobile phones and watching intently. Their parents had no time to take care of them, so they had no choice but to entertain themselves in the noisy and chaotic market. This is not bad, but some parents are forced by life to leave their hometowns to work and leave their children to the elderly without caring about them. There was a video a few days ago of a four-year-old boy lying on a bamboo chair, crossing his legs, chewing betel nut and smoking a cigarette, blowing out a few \”decent\” smoke rings from time to time. He looked sophisticated and mature in front of the camera. As if no one was around. The little boy\’s parents work outside all year round, and he is usually taken care of by his grandparents. With his grandfather, he slowly learned to smoke and got into the bad habit of smoking. His cigarettes were either stolen from the canteen or picked up on the ground. People familiar with the matter even said \”I\’ve been smoking for a year or two and I can\’t stop.\” Don\’t the parents of the child know that it\’s been so long? If you leave your children alone now, have you ever thought about what will happen to your children in the future? Education is about competing with parents and competing with parents. Your plans for your children reveal your pattern. Parents who have no structure will leave their children alone. If you don’t spend energy thinking about your child’s future, and if you don’t spend time and money to guide and accompany your child, you will feel relaxed. But if you give up on your child, you will harm your child. The laziness you have been cheating on now will become pitfalls to retaliate against you in the future. A child without guidance is like a directionless ship in the sea, drifting with the current and going wherever it goes. Free-range children will only grow wildly. The result is that the strong will survive, and only the best will stand out. The vast majority of children have poor self-control. Without the planning and guidance of their parents, it is basically difficult to make a difference. 2. Middle-class parents: \”I am doing this for your own good\” and let their children carry the burden forward. Chinese parents work hard for their children. They make plans for their children early, accompany them to interest classes, practice piano, and learn Mathematical Olympiads. They buy 800 Ten thousand for a school district house, spending 30,000 for a summer vacation… I was once such a mother. I pinned my unrealized dreams on my daughter, hoping that she would be better than me in the future, go to a good university, and then study abroad. . The first step to realize your dream is to advance from kindergarten to primary school and go to a good primary school. Admission is subject to examinations, and you will be admitted to school and divided into classes based on your grades. In order for my daughter to go to a good school and a good class, I had to advance her primary school education to kindergarten. When she was still in kindergarten, I enrolled her in three classes and a dance class. Since then, my daughter has been deprived of all the carefree and happy childhood, and has been running non-stop to various training institutions. In order to win at the starting line, I had to use high-dose, high-added feed to encourage her to grow up. I feel very sad when I see my child’s yawning face and thin body carrying a heavy schoolbag due to lack of sleep., children are carrying a heavy burden, and they are all carrying the trust of their parents. It wasn\’t until my daughter became seriously ill that I realized that I shouldn\’t use my dreams to plan the future for my children. Today, too many parents plan their children\’s growth path in the name of love, put heavy shackles on their children, and kidnap their children\’s lives. Not just small children, but older children as well. Some time ago, I met the son of a friend, a graduate of a prestigious 985 university who had just returned. He originally worked in a foreign company in the provincial capital, but gave up his high salary and returned to his hometown to work in a fourth-tier town. I asked him curiously: \”Why did you come back?\” He said helplessly: \”My parents called me every day to force me to come back.\” \”So how is your job now? Are you happy?\” I asked. \”Hey.\” He sighed, \”The current work unit is so different from my previous work unit. I really regret coming back. In big cities and foreign companies, I have been exposed to many things and my horizons have been broadened. It\’s not like today where I can see everything at a glance. He died at the age of 25 and was buried at the age of 75.\” Looking at this sad young man, I remembered what my parents love to say: I am doing this for your own good. You are my child, and I am qualified to plan your happiness, plan your actions, and plan your future. Everything I do is to make you better. Yes, they hope that their children will be successful and their daughters will be successful. There are no parents in this world who don’t want their children to be good. They want their children to avoid detours and plan a path for their children that they think is the easiest and most stable. But what parents think is \”good\” may not be what their children want. What\’s more, the future is uncertain, many careers have disappeared, and children\’s growth paths are not unique. If parents\’ ideology and vision cannot keep up, your planning will miss your children. Yu Minhong said: \”This is actually not a plan, but a kind of coercion. Parents are very cruel and stuff their children into a jar to grow up according to the parents\’ requirements.\” Such parents have a small pattern. In fact, the essence behind it is the level of knowledge. , lack of cognitive ability, and the children have to pay for it all. Under the control of parents, children either lose their independence and become blindly dependent on their parents, becoming giant babies that never grow up, or they end up in a bleak fight with their parents. 3. Upper-class parents: The best plan for their children is to let them be their own. After my daughter became seriously ill, I began to reflect on myself. I thought back to when my daughter was just born. My first little wish was that she live a healthy and happy life. ? Since when did I put more shackles on her? Putting her on the back of higher expectations? Since when did I start wanting her to be \”someone else\’s kid\” instead of who she is? After reflecting on it, I began to change myself, no longer push things to their limits, and let my daughter grow up step by step. My daughter particularly likes to draw, so I will do my best to find a teacher for her to teach her how to draw, accompany her to visit art galleries, and accompany her to draw. Gradually, I found that I was less anxious, my daughter was smiling more and more, and her paintings were getting better and better. Financial writer Wu Xiaobo gave his daughter a message when she was 18 years old: \”Life should be wasted on beautiful things.\” His daughter has excellent grades and can basically be admitted to the top 100 universities in the world, but womenMy son wants to be a pop singer. This is an uncertain industry that has a lot to do with talent and luck. The probability of becoming a second-rate singer in the future is only about 10%. The daughter said firmly: \”I don\’t want to be famous, I just like it.\” Wu Xiaobo recalled that he had been driven by career and work in the past, and he didn\’t know how big the radius of happiness in life was, what was meaningful and what was ineffective. Later I realized that life is a waste from beginning to end. All you need to judge is whether this waste is \”beautiful\”. Later, every time he did something, he would ask himself: Do you think it is beautiful? If so, then do it, and from here on, let\’s resist fate and enjoy life. Wu Xiaobo doesn\’t know how well his daughter has studied and whether she has the potential to be a star, but as long as her daughter is happy, let her choose the path she likes to take. The same is true for Wang Shuo. He once talked about his hopes for his daughter and said: What do I want her to do? I wish her nothing. I hope she lives a happy life, I don\’t want her to succeed. I hate this word the most. What is success, don\’t you just make some money and be known by SB people? ! Wang Shuo\’s daughter did not adapt to Chinese education, was not happy studying, and did not like learning, so Wang Shuo sent her to the United States to study. Wang Shuo said to his daughter: \”If you are interested in learning, go and learn. If you are not interested in learning, just be an ordinary person. There is no shame in being an ordinary person.\” There, his daughter found happiness in studying and became very fond of learning. Not many parents are mentally strong enough to have the courage to let their children be themselves. The reason behind preventing children from being affected by this utilitarian world is the parents\’ big picture and their best efforts. Life is long, so it is better to retain some uncertainty and let the children find and discover by themselves, be themselves, and do what they like. In today\’s world that is eager for quick success and instant benefits, doing the opposite and allowing children to grow up unhurriedly and unhurriedly in their own time zone is the greatest success for parents. 4. Your plan for your children reveals your pattern. In the documentary \”My Study Abroad Story\”, there is an episode about a young man studying abroad. He began to learn painting at the age of 6. He passed the first-level artist examination in the first year of high school and then went abroad to receive world-class art education. He is also good at cooking. In the film, he even made sauce-flavored pork ribs. Well-organized parents will discover their children\’s talents when they are young and then deliberately guide them, so this young man has set a clear life plan early. Planning for children should not only be about academic studies, but also about life. The young man said that his mother taught him how to cook since junior high school. She believed that boys should learn to be independent. In the future, when they go abroad and start a family, they must live independently. They must learn to cook and do housework so that they can live well when they are alone outside. very good. I also think of the popular video \”No matter how big the world is, it is no bigger than a plate of scrambled eggs with tomatoes\”. An international student who had just arrived in the United States had to show up to his classmates to make a plate of scrambled eggs with tomatoes. He forgot about the time difference and woke up his parents who were sleeping at 4 a.m. in China and asked them how to make scrambled eggs with tomatoes. They are also international students. One cooks delicious sauce-flavored pork ribs, and the other cannot even scramble eggs with tomatoes. The other is grateful to his parents, thinking that it is not easy for them to make money, and tries his best toHe cooks and eats by himself, saving as much as he can; the other prepares a side dish for himself, not even thinking that his parents are still sleeping. Behind the different performances of children are the different plans of parents for their children and the different patterns of parents. Well-organized parents understand their children\’s personality and temperament, know what their children like and are good at, and then deliberately cultivate and create opportunities for them based on their personality traits and abilities. They help their children broaden their horizons, discover their talents as early as possible, and let them use their strengths and avoid weaknesses to make the most of their strengths, instead of learning from each other\’s strengths, which is to make identical products on the assembly line. Without his father to take Buffett to visit the Wall Street Stock Exchange, he may not have taken the path of professional investment when he grew up. Without his father\’s guidance, Lang Lang would not have become a great pianist… Parents at the bottom should let their children go; middle-class parents should let their children Move forward with a heavy load; upper-class parents let their children let themselves go. Your plans for your children reveal your pattern. I hope parents all over the world can magnify their own pattern, guide and train their children from an early age, so that they have the ability to choose, and their future will be more stable.