There is a kind of parent who is a Buddhist on the surface, but is a mastermind behind his back, and his children are academic masters.

Is there a Buddhist mother with a baby around you? According to my observation, they are very skillful in displaying their mess! It seems like he doesn\’t care about anything, but he secretly uses all his strength on the blade! Children raised by such parents have a happy childhood, and when it comes time to get results, they can counterattack perfectly. It is really enviable. This is how Zixuan’s mother in our community raises her children. When Zixuan was a child, he rarely lived at home. Whenever he walked into the community, he could almost see Zixuan playing wildly. Zixuan got dirty by stepping in mud puddles, climbing trees, and digging out ant nests, but his mother didn\’t say anything about him. Unexpectedly, many years later, Zixuan was successfully admitted to a key high school in our city. Before taking the college entrance examination, he was selected by Tsinghua University and directly entered university. When asked about her experience, Zixuan’s mother said that instead of being a baby and making the parent-child relationship very tense, it is better to be more relaxed and use your strength on the edge. Just grasp the following three keys and it will be enough. 1. Before the age of 6, giving children enough sense of security to clearly feel safe is the core task in the first six years. Instead of focusing on early childhood education, kindergarten connection, and English, it is better to use limited energy on strengthening a sense of security. Psychological research has found that children need to quickly approach a trustworthy person when they feel uneasy or in crisis, and continue to repeat this process to form a \”security mechanism.\” As the child grows older, this sense of security will be internalized into the child\’s heart, and he will feel safe even if the \”trustworthy\” person is not in front of him. Such children will be more patient and resilient, and can cope with pressure even when faced with stress. Children who lack a sense of security will always be in a state of tension, easily fluctuate in mood, and find it difficult to concentrate on learning. Therefore, far-sighted parents will spend more time on this aspect. 2. Improve self-evaluation before the age of 12. Throughout the primary school period, the only important thing we have to do is to promote children to develop \”self-awareness\” and have a positive self-evaluation of themselves. This requires parents to provide a relatively relaxed environment for their children, allowing them to find subjects or sports that interest them and that they want to continuously strive to improve. When a child can enjoy the things he is interested in and continue to explore freely, his self-awareness will emerge. Later, he will start to look at himself and objectively understand the scope of his abilities. He will accept failure and actively listen to other people\’s opinions. Even if he can\’t do it now, he will adjust his own methods and methods to achieve his goal one day in the future, so he has his own dream. A child with a relatively high self-esteem will believe in his own abilities, be proud of himself, and will be very positive in the face of difficulties. Even in adolescence, they will not be led astray or lower their requirements for themselves. They will stick to their bottom line and become better people. 3. After the age of 12, after the independent thinking ability + empathy ability enters adolescence, the child\’s brain enters a period of rapid growth, and the prefrontal cortex will undergo tremendous changes, and it plays an important role in social relationships. Parents should focus on cultivating their children\’s ability to empathize. Empathy with others will prevent children from committing inhumane behaviors, which is a big step for children to move towards adulthood. At the same time, the nucleus accumbens in the child\’s brain is not yet fully developed with the orbitofrontal cortex.Mature, this will make it difficult for them to control their desires, often get carried away, and fail again. At this time, what parents have to do is not to criticize or accuse, but to give their adolescent children the right to choose, respect their decisions, and let them taste the natural consequences, so as to develop a sense of responsibility for themselves and promote brain development. Creating an opportunity for children to realize what behavior is appropriate is the most important thing during this period. It is more critical than focusing on grades. Parents should pay more attention.