There is a naughty child, what should I do?

Before baby Lu Zimi was born, I already had a daughter named Lu Sidi. Lu Sidi is an obedient princess-type little girl. When she was very young, no one taught her how to clean her mouth after eating and not to paint her face and skirt. All the educational theories I read had an immediate impact on Lu Sidi. I don’t need to repeat myself, the little girl did it in a very orderly manner. My mother is a farmer. She feels happy no matter how much she looks at the green and healthy crops in her field. A toothy grin that couldn\’t even be closed from ear to ear. Then the second baby, Lu Zimi, came to my family. Since birth, Lu Zimi has shown the characteristics of a naughty child who can cause trouble to his parents. Ever since this naughty child was born, the question I have been asked every day is, \”Is this curly hair natural?\” Neither I, Sidi nor Lu Zhonghan have curly hair. There are always those who are curious and self-possessed. A person with detective abilities, his penetrating gaze makes me want to find a DNA report and stick it on Lu Zimi\’s forehead to tell the world. Lu Zimi himself didn\’t think there was anything wrong with him. Day by day, I watched her shake her curly hair and grow into a little curly bear. The same thing happens every day, and the rapid progress reveals the characteristics of a naughty child: unlimited energy, and can\’t stop at all. Acting arbitrarily and not obeying orders at all. Extremely bold and completely disregarding the consequences. There is no obstacle at all in playing tricks and behaving well. He cares about food but not about fighting. He looks like a complete scoundrel. Lu Zimi has been full of misdeeds since he was able to walk at the age of one. I smeared my mother\’s newly opened bottle of Estee Lauder day cream all over my body; I raised the temperature of my father\’s wine cabinet so that all the red wine in the cabinet turned into red wine vinegar; I unplugged the computer cord that was being upgraded; and I even My passport and a pile of Hong Kong dollars were thrown into the trash can… Occasionally, when I was too busy and needed to ask a friend to help me take care of my child, everyone\’s reaction was: \”Sidi? No problem. Zimi? Then when will you Come to pick me up?\” When I was two years old and was in kindergarten, the teacher sent me photos on WeChat three times a day. I searched carefully, but I couldn\’t see Zimi at all. I asked the teacher what happened? The teacher said, \”Lu Zimi always runs around without obeying instructions. When taking photos, he often doesn\’t fit in the frame.\” At the age of three, he entered the small class of kindergarten. I went to pick up the children, and the French teacher, the Chinese teacher, or the life teacher all complained to me when they saw her: All the children were sitting and listening to the class, and she ran to the middle and danced, making the whole class burst into laughter. When she encountered something she didn\’t want to do, she would tell me to pee. I would pee three drops and wait in the bathroom for twenty minutes. She is particularly good at pretending to be deaf. The teacher called her ten times but pretended not to hear. Pretending that the teacher was about to punish her, she first sat on the ground and cried. Crying didn\’t work, so he knelt on the ground to learn how the kitten meowed, then crawled over, hugged the teacher\’s thigh, and rubbed it hard. There are many more deeds, too many to count at once. My faith collapsed. I can\’t blame my grandparents who dotes on me infinitely, and I can\’t blame my aunt who is always obedient. It turns out that not all naughty children are spoiled. It turns out that the naughty children in this world can be divided into two types: those born in the past and those born in the past. I had to face the facts, bow my head and admit my guilt. Zi Mi, who I had raised by myself, became an out-and-out naughty child, and I became an out-and-out naughty parent. DoA naughty child only has to face parents who love him deeply. As a bear parent, you have to face the disdainful eyes of the entire society. We must have a stronger heart, a more pressure-resistant mind, stronger nerves, and a thicker skin. If you have no money, no power and no confidence, you will not be able to protect your children for a lifetime; if you are thin-skinned and weak-hearted, you will not be able to bear ridicule. Ask yourself, I am not even qualified to be a bear parent. After attending kindergarten for more than two months, Zi Mi came home every day, lowered his head and said crookedly, \”I\’m not good, I\’m a bad boy.\” When I went to the kindergarten to pick up my children, not only the teachers, but also children from the same class came over to help me. I said, \”Zimi was not good today and was led to a small corner by the teacher again.\” I knew that if I didn\’t take action, I would lose this child. Faced with this kind of naughty child who is born with high energy and explosive fighting ability, I don\’t think that the naughty child can be transformed into a good boy through hard work. I just try to let the naughty children understand the rules of this society. When, where, and under what circumstances, you are not allowed to be naughty. At other times, you are free to do so. The first step is to obtain the teacher’s understanding. When I was a teacher in school, I had a lot of headaches dealing with parents. All the parents kept saying the same thing: \”My children are not like this at home.\” I looked for an opportunity and made an appointment with all the teachers in Zimi. I very sincerely admit that Zi Mi is indeed a troublesome, naughty kid with no sense of discipline. She is also disorganized and unconscious at home. As parents, we are very aware of her shortcomings, and we also hope to find a solution so that she can work hard to make progress and integrate into the group. After I clearly expressed this wish, the teachers\’ attitudes changed obviously. I don’t want to discuss the professionalism of teachers, but teachers are all human beings at first. As long as they are human beings, they will have likes and dislikes. Even if their profession makes them try their best to hide them, as human beings, they cannot abandon them. When the teacher already has a grudge against this child, no matter how hard he tries to hide it, the sensitive children will still be able to sense it. The second step is to design a play in which the teacher also appears. I send Zi Mi to school every day, and I tell her: \”If you are an obedient baby today, there will be a reward.\” Let her choose something she likes. Every day when I pick up Zi Mi, I ask about Zi Mi’s condition in front of the teacher. If the teacher says, Zi Mi is disobedient today. Be sure to do what you say. I will definitely not give out rewards in the morning. Because every child is extremely smart. If there are no consequences, why should I embarrass myself? But it is everyone\’s nature to worry but not to report good news. If Zi Mi disobeys me, the teacher will definitely chase me and complain. If I perform well that day, the teacher will give Zi Mi to me and then go off to complain to other parents. At this time, I will chase the teacher and ask, \”How is Zimi today?\” As long as the teacher\’s answer is somewhat positive, even if it is \”a little problem, but overall it\’s not bad.\” I will also do it in front of the teacher. , hugging Zi Mi in a deliberately exaggerated way and saying, \”Wow, the teacher praised you for being a good baby. You\’re great.\” The teacher would be happy to help her mother create a beautiful scene, and would also chime in and say, \”Yes, Zi Mi today He’s a good baby. I’ll work hard tomorrowforce. \”This scene must be done adequately and exaggerated. As long as the teacher is present during the praise, the children will feel that the teacher is praising them. No one doesn\’t like to hear praise, including the naughty children who are always strict. The teacher\’s praise is especially precious. The third step is to continue the praise. I will report the good news that Zi Mi has been warmly praised by the teacher to my sister, aunt, the security guard at the door, the aunt cleaning on the road… After school After that, everyone we met made Zimi feel like the whole world was praising her. When my father came back in the evening, I would let Zimi run over and say, \”Today, the teacher said that I am an obedient and good baby.\” \”Dad always lifts Zi Mi above his head and says loudly: \”Awesome, good baby, Zi Mi.\” \”If you can be a good baby every day, then you are no longer a naughty child. There will always be more days when Zi Mi does not become a good baby, but is criticized by the teacher. I will say to Zi Mi in front of the teacher: \”Listen Are you here, you did something wrong, then you can\’t have the morning reward today. \”When my father comes back in the evening, I will also let Zi Mi say on his own: \”I disobeyed today and I am not a good boy.\” \”Dad would squat down, ask why, and then tell her: \”You must be a good baby tomorrow. \”\”Good baby\” is not just a material reward, but a crown of honor. When you wear it, the little girl can look up with pride. Gradually, the days of being a \”good baby\” increase. Although I know that compared to other children, she is far behind in discipline, but compared to myself, she has made infinite progress. The fourth step is to set a bottom line for the child. If you only rely on praise education with encouragement and praise, If you can achieve the purpose of education, you must not be a naughty child in our family. Every child who looks like an angel is constantly testing and provoking the bottom line of his parents. In the eyes of children, parents are the highest and most authoritative figures. If I can successfully provoke my parents, how successful will I feel? For my two children, I use the most basic method: counting: one, two, three. When we count to three, we will declare when we start counting. Punishment methods: spanking, locking up a room, or standing in the corner… This is an agreement between adults and children. If we ask children to abide by the rules, parents must also keep their word. Set a bottom line and let the children understand that If you step down, you will hit the wall at your own risk. Regarding the bottom line, Lu Zimi fully demonstrated her naughty character. She understood the rules of the game after being punished two or three times. From then on, she will definitely wait on the spot. Wait until I count to three. This seems to be a cat and mouse game between us. The naughty child never gets tired of playing it. The fifth step, the naughty child also needs respect. Naughty children usually go crazy when people come to them. The more people there are, the more they play. Bear. But if adults think that children are still young and have no face and do not need respect, this is a very wrong idea. If the child is playing with bears outside, if the first reminder, the second reminder, and the third reminder are still ineffective, we will Take the child out and find a corner with few people for education. When he is taken out, the naughty child already knows that he has done something wrong and has begun to be afraid. So when he is taken to the corner, he saysWhat is what, very easy to educate. After the education is completed, the child will not lose face or respect when faced with friends at the same table, or strangers sitting next to him, or people in the same environment eating together. Even if the child himself has made a mistake, how difficult is it to help that little person regain his self-esteem bit by bit? Please respect your child as you would an adult. Now Zi Mi is four years old, and compared to ordinary children, or Sidi at the same time, he still has the characteristics of a naughty child. But this year in kindergarten, teachers have seen me complaining less frequently. I asked the teacher, and the teacher would also say: It\’s not bad, sometimes I need to be reminded, but in general, there is no big problem. Several times when a good friend of mine was discussing naughty children in the group, she would drag out my family, Sidi and Zimi, as examples of good children. Every time at this time, I don\’t answer the call because I feel guilty. Because my two children sometimes jump up and down in restaurants and shopping malls and make loud noises; sometimes they chase other people’s cats and force them into the cracks of cabinets; sometimes they climb on the coffee table, When I knocked over a wine glass; when my dirty little feet left footprints all over the white sofa… That is to say, in front of certain people, on certain occasions, the two of my family were also counted among the bears. As a child. Naughty Kids is not a beauty pageant, and there are no specific, measurable criteria for inclusion. The judges are all onlookers except parents. The onlookers are an indifferent group, especially when they are making a judgment that does not involve themselves. Be free-spirited and harsh. Generally speaking, when the onlookers feel that the child is disturbing them, or the child\’s behavior makes him feel unpleasant, makes him have unpleasant emotions, and causes unhappiness, a circle of red pen can be used to remove the annoying child. Children, fall into the category of naughty children. But the onlookers didn’t know or wanted to know that the naughty kid rolling around on the floor might be able to recite three hundred Tang poems; that naughty kid screaming like crazy might never be picky about his food; and that naughty kid running around everywhere might be able to recite three hundred Tang poems. Very generous and good at sharing… The apple is round, red from this side and green from that side. Let alone a child. There is a naughty kid living in every child\’s heart. And every child may reveal his naughty face on a certain occasion and at a certain time. A naughty boy today may be a good boy tomorrow; a naughty boy here may be a good boy there. In fact, there are only children in the world, and there are no 100% naughty children. For the bear parents in the back, we have the obligation to accompany them through some sensitive times and stay by their side. My child, I love you is more than just three words or a sentence. My child, my love for you is a lot of dedication, companionship, effort, waiting, encouragement, worry, guidance, help… This love is as heavy as a mountain, and this is the happiness of being a parent. I love you forever.