There is a saying, have you ever said it to your children?

I watched \”Dangal\” a few days ago. I was a little disapproving at first (I don\’t think children should devote their lives to realizing their parents\’ dreams). Until the end, when the elderly father said those words, I was so moved. of. \”You are my pride.\” How many children want to hear such words from their parents throughout their lives? How many adults have never waited for their parents to say this throughout their lives? In the consulting room, I met such a person: he was outstanding, worked very hard, and had very high demands on himself. However, he always felt that he was very bad and terrible. In fact, he is considered quite good. His starting point is not high, but now he is considered to be the best among his contemporaries. But the hidden sense of inferiority and low worth in the heart is like a spreading spider web that will creep up on the heart if one is not careful. Especially as an adult, you have worked very hard, have a successful career, and a harmonious family, but you can\’t stop. As soon as you stop to enjoy life, you will feel lost or even anxious. I always feel that I am not good enough and I have to keep working hard. Even if my time is spent on work, even if it has affected my health and life, I can\’t stop. \”Anxiety\” is his key word. Even if his career has entered a mature stage and has developed well, and he is older, he is still worried about his lack of effort. I can\’t let it go, I can\’t sleep well, I\’m exhausted from running around all day long, and I can\’t rest even though I know it\’s not necessary. Others work hard to enjoy life better, while he works hard to work harder. He said: My dad is a very demanding person. I studied very well when I was a child, but every time I finished an exam, my dad never smiled when he saw my results. Even if I got first place in the exam, I would happily take it back to him, hoping that he would praise me. The corners of my dad\’s mouth seemed to curl up a little, and then his face straightened again, and he said to me seriously, \”You still haven\’t done well enough in some aspects.\” Ever since he was a child, neither the trophy in the mathematics competition nor the certificate of the composition competition made him happy. Every time, he had a serious face and told me: There is still a long way to go. Don’t think that you can just stick to your tail after you have achieved some results. My dad is very afraid of my pride and never praises me, let alone is proud of me. I was admitted as a civil servant and he was very serious. I was promoted and he was very serious. Until I became the head of the unit and told him, he still didn\’t smile at all. To be honest, when I was a child, when I handed in my 100-point test paper, he would say \”hmm\” lightly. When I heard this sound, I knew that he was satisfied and would be extremely happy. Now, he doesn\’t even have \”um\” anymore. He will tell me seriously: I must guard against arrogance and impetuosity, do a good job, and don\’t think that as a leader, you can do whatever you want. He always said: I am still far away. As a counselor, I can see the loneliness in this grown man\’s eyes. Who doesn’t want approval from their loved ones? Working hard is nothing more than to let your loved ones live a better life, to give full play to your sense of value, and to make the people you love the most proud of you. \”Pride\” is such a bad word, \”Modility will benefit, but humility will bring harm\”, \”Humility makes people progress, pride makes people fall behind.\” Such parents are frightened, fearing that their children willThe tail, getting carried away, fell behind others. Therefore, never praise your children, let alone treat them as your pride. Maybe behind other people\’s backs, when he was envied by others, my father was also full of pride, but when he got home – he would not say anything, not even to death. He didn\’t know how much energy the words \”Child, I am proud of you\” could bring to the child. It would not be an exaggeration to say that it was the carnival of life. Praise from others is of course good, but if your loved one always turns a blind eye to your achievements, only sees your shortcomings, and only asks you to continue working hard, it is no less than saying: No matter how good you are, I don\’t care, you are still not good enough, and you are still not good enough. Gotta keep working hard. If this pattern of not being good enough continues into adulthood, and the child grows into an adult, he may always feel that he is not working hard enough or good enough, and he will always work hard and never let himself go. \”My child, you are my pride.\” Or: \”My child, I am proud of you.\” \”My child, your parents will always support you.\” \”My child, I see your efforts, and I am very happy.\” These words, Did you never say that? Try talking to your children. You will find: these words are magical. They are like scattered seeds of hope that can bloom in an instant, blooming with dazzling flowers in the soul.