These 3 sentences are most likely to make children tired of learning! Parents, please stop talking.

If you do well in the exam, you will be rewarded; if you do not do well, you will be punished! Many parents are accustomed to using a reward and punishment system to treat their children\’s academic performance. If their children do well in exams, they will reward them with an iPad and take them to the playground; if they do not do well in exams, they will not allow their children to watch TV and play games. This reward and punishment system is simple and effective in the short term. It does not require any parent-child interaction. It also seems to provide a way of relief for parents. However, what parents don’t realize is that reward and punishment systems can affect children’s self-perception and make them feel anxious. When the motivation for learning is no longer intrinsic interest but becomes extrinsic rewards, they will no longer actively pursue knowledge, but only want to obtain rewards. You must know that in the long process of learning knowledge, material rewards are very fragile, and inner spontaneous motivation is the most lasting and effective motivation. When children are punished for failing to achieve a certain learning goal, they will be more stressed in the future learning process, will become anxious and fearful of punishment, and may even learn to learn, and the effect will be contrary to their parents\’ expectations. In addition, rewards from the outside world will greatly consume children\’s own interest in learning. This theory is called over-rationalization. In the 1970s, psychologists set up a reward in kindergarten. When children drew with a specific color, they would get a medal. After a week, the reward was stopped, and half as many children returned to the color as before the experiment. After all, no one wants to work for nothing. Likewise, once parental rewards stop, children lose motivation to learn. My disapproval of the use of rewards does not mean that parents cannot appreciate and encourage their children every time they succeed, but do not try to use a \”reward system\” to manipulate their children\’s behavior. Children will do better when they receive genuine approval from their parents. Look, so and so, he got the first place in the test again this time! When we were young, we often heard our parents say things like this: \”Look at Xiao Ming, he is sensible and obedient, how different is he from you, he is dishonest in class and talks so much!\” \”Look at Xiao Jie, he takes the test every time he takes an exam. No. 1, let parents worry more! Look at you again…\” Many parents like to compare their children with other people\’s children to let their children realize their own shortcomings and give them a goal to strive for and work hard for. This encourages their growth. In fact, parents have never thought that such comparisons and verbal stimulation will not only be difficult to motivate, but will have the opposite effect. It will not only make children \”hostile\” to outstanding students, but also damage their self-esteem and self-motivation, and make children If you feel stressed during learning, you will easily get discouraged and become disgusted with learning. As a result, education will enter a \”vicious cycle\”. Children who grow up under this kind of stimulation can easily lack self-confidence. When encountering setbacks in learning, they are often not mentally strong enough and do not have the courage to face difficulties or challenges. Even after entering the society, because they never received recognition or received little encouragement when they were young, their self-esteem will be repeatedly frustrated when they encounter difficulties, and they will become even more inferior, and even cause psychological disorders that will last a lifetime. Instead of comparing your children with others, it is better to compare your children with yourself. Take his todayCompare the day to yesterday and carefully identify his progress. For example, from a child not taking the initiative to go to school to taking the initiative; from not taking the initiative to read a book at home to actively reading a page of a book… cherish the child\’s little progress, let the child see his own progress, and feel that he has unlimited hope. At that time, he will work hard to strive for greater progress and achievements, truly build up his self-esteem and self-confidence, and then he will have real learning motivation and self-improvement spirit. Every child is a completely special, unique world. I hope that every family can carefully discover the unique and wonderful qualities of their children. A child who is mentally sunny, healthy and happy will naturally release his own unique and dazzling brilliance in the world. Your main task is to study hard and don’t worry about the rest! In life, we often hear mothers say something like this: \”I will cook the food for you, wash the clothes for you, you don\’t have to worry about anything, just study hard\”; we also often see grandpa on the way to and from school. Grandma or parents carry their children\’s schoolbags, pick them up and drop them off in the morning and evening, and they are always busy. They will not discuss any important matters at home with their children, because their main task is to \”study hard.\” There is nothing wrong with parents paying attention to their children\’s learning, but if they only focus on their children\’s learning, it will be one-sided and hinder the development of their children\’s real learning abilities. A child\’s life should be colorful, and learning book knowledge is only a part of a child\’s life and the main content of a child\’s school life. Back home, children need a rich family life and the feeling of returning home. If parents just let their children just study and ignore everything else, the children will slowly get used to this family model. Even if the mother comes home from get off work and does housework and is so tired that her back aches, the children have learned to be indifferent and turn a blind eye. As children grow up, parents will find that their children are becoming more and more ignorant, difficult to manage, and do not know how to be considerate of their parents. Moreover, children who grow up in this way will definitely lack the ability to take care of themselves and be independent. When encountering difficulties, they will not rely on their own strength to solve problems, but rely on their parents. Children should, like adults, do what they can, and let them do the family responsibilities they should be responsible for at different ages, especially let them do some less strenuous housework. Parents should know that this kind of labor can exercise their children\’s fingers and stimulate the growth and development of the brain. Therefore, please do not limit the scope of your child\’s learning to academic work, but also focus on cultivating your child\’s living and social abilities. If you only focus on your child\’s homework, it will not only aggravate the child\’s fatigue and tiredness of learning, but also prevent the child from becoming an independent person.