These 5 signs of children’s psychological growth are often mistaken for problem behaviors

Some signs of a child\’s growth are often mistaken for \”problem behavior.\” These misunderstandings may cause parents to miss opportunities to guide their children in a positive way. 1. Be destructive. When many children are about one year old, they will start to exhibit some \”destructive\” behaviors that make their parents unbelievable. For example, pulling all the paper out of the carton, throwing things to make noise, opening all the boxes and cabinet doors, trying to put your hands into the sockets… As children\’s physical movement abilities become stronger and stronger, their recognition Intellectual abilities will be greatly improved. This \”destructive\” period is actually the \”experimental period\” of a child\’s life. At this stage, children learn about the things around them through first-hand experience. Every action at this stage has meaning to them. They want to touch everything themselves, open it, knock it down, see it with their own eyes, and understand it with their own bodies. However, these behaviors are often misunderstood by parents as \”irregular\” because they are a bit like sabotage. In fact, there is no need to rush to discipline your children at this stage. When there is no danger, let children \”experiment\” and let them develop interest and curiosity about the things around them. 2. \”Mom, look!\” When children can speak, they will be eager to let their mother and father see something they are interested in. This behavior of asking parents to cooperate with their instructions is a signal that children want to know more things, which is an important manifestation of the development of learning ability. This ability may already be present before the child can speak. They may point to an object with a \”babble, babble, babble\” in an effort to attract their parents\’ attention. At this time, children develop \”interest\” and \”curiosity\” and want to know more. At this time, parents can follow the child\’s \”instructions\” and tell him more relevant information. For example, if a child points to a flower and makes an \”ahhh\” sound, parents can clearly tell the child \”this is a flower\” and let him know the correct name. You can even hold your child up to the flower, let him touch it, smell it, and tell him the color and smell. Sometimes children are so impatient that they pull at their parents\’ clothes to get attention without using their fingers. At this time, parents should not be anxious and see what the child wants to express. They can bring the child to the object he wants to know about. Parents are very busy and try not to ignore their children\’s desire to \”know more\”. 3. Immersed in their own world. Two-year-old children begin to have a lot of autonomy in their own lives, and they will feel that they no longer need adult care. At this time, when children play, they will be immersed in their own world as if no one else is around, and do not want to talk to others or be disturbed. This stage is a good time to cultivate children\’s concentration. Parents can let their children play and think by themselves. When the children need their parents, they will take the initiative to call their parents. At the beginning, the child may play alone for a few minutes, gradually extending to ten or twenty minutes… Without interference, the time for the child to concentrate will gradually become longer. 4. Embarrassment and guilt By the time a child is about 3 years old, emotions related to self-evaluation will develop, such as shame, embarrassment, guilt, pride, etc. But it is impossible for children at this stageEvaluating themselves \”objectively\”, they rely on external evaluation to judge whether they are \”good or bad.\” They can easily feel ashamed if someone else discovers what they have done wrong. Children who are overly praised will become arrogant. Therefore, after the age of 3, parents should be good at detecting their children\’s emotions such as shame, embarrassment, and complacency, and try to be as objective as possible in their evaluation of their children to help them evaluate themselves more \”accurately.\” If something is done well, parents can praise it to make their children feel proud and more confident. Provide guidance and timely feedback for children who cannot do something well. Wrong behavior should be stopped, and even \”isolation timer\” can be used as a punishment. 5. Willful When children grow up, they will want to do more and more things, and they will have more and more opinions of their own. But their current capabilities may not keep up with what they “want to do.” The gap between reality and ability will cause children to be particularly frustrated, causing irritability, anxiety, and even anger. Around the age of 4, some parents will find that their children have become very \”willful\”. They will constantly express their negative emotions and make everyone around them unhappy. Or they are just trying to solve the problem with the limited methods they know and don\’t know how to adapt. In fact, what parents see as \”willfulness\” is a kind of \”perseverance\” in their children. It shows that they have been aware of the \”unsatisfactory\” aspects of their lives and particularly want to solve them themselves. The only problem is that they have limited \”problem-solving\” abilities. If parents are not aware of this at this time, it is easy to criticize their children. As mentioned in the previous point, children often rely on external evaluations for self-evaluation. Only criticism without suggestions will make children have lower and lower self-esteem and gradually lose their desire to solve problems by themselves. When they find that their children are in a \”dilemma\”, are irritable, and are getting into trouble, parents should restrain their desire to criticize their children and give them suggestions for solving their difficulties. It is recommended that there are several options. These options not only tell the children several solutions, but also guide the children to think about which solutions are best for them.