In today\’s parenting families, the main force is still the mother. The mother\’s busy figure can be seen in everything from the children\’s eating, drinking, studying, and living. As for the father, he may have been involved in the beginning, but while the mother became \”more and more diligent\”, he became \”more and more lazy\”, and finally even disappeared… Psychologist Hu Shenzhi once said this: \”The structure of the family It\’s like the frame of a house. If the father fails to fulfill his role as a father, some part of the house will definitely collapse. \”In families where the father is absent, mothers must know how to be wary of the \”gatekeeper effect\” and not stick to educating their children. Gate, limiting dad’s involvement. Give your father more trust, encouragement, and support, and give him more \”face\” in front of your children. You will find that having these five types of fathers is the best feng shui for a family and the best blessing for your children\’s lives. Willingness to spend time playing with their children. American psychologist Ross Parker tracked and surveyed 390 families in California, USA, and found differences between fathers and mothers when playing with their children: Mothers play in a more routine and less exciting way, while fathers are more It is easy to lead children to play intense sports, such as wrestling, hide-and-seek, etc., thereby teaching children how to handle their bodies and regulate their emotions. It can be concluded that the longer the father spends with his children, the more positive and healthy the children\’s mentality will be, and it will be easier for them to gain happiness when they grow up. This is also true. Education expert Jiang Peirong shared in \”Pei Rong\’s Mother\’s Guide\” that although her husband doesn\’t talk much at home, he likes to mingle with his children. For this reason, her husband learned to play football and baseball, served as the children\’s coach, and played sports and games with them. I am usually busy with work, but I also spend a lot of time with my children, and I even turned down several promotion opportunities that required business trips. Whenever the children encounter failures or difficulties, the husband becomes the most loyal cheerleader, always encouraging and supporting them. Because of a father who was so willing to spend time and energy on his children, they eventually trained three outstanding and successful students. Dad’s attentive companionship hides the educational wisdom that cannot be replaced by mother, and exerts an amazing influence all the time. Maybe his method is unique and novel, and different from his mother\’s delicateness and sensitivity, but his risk-taking and willingness to challenge will penetrate into the child\’s understanding and concepts in every minute and every second he interacts with the child. As a child grows up, only with his father\’s participation can he have the sense of security that \”Dad is always by my side.\” Even if he leaves home in the future, the image of love left by his father will definitely be his strength to move forward, giving him confidence to take new steps. There is \”work\” in his eyes and he takes the initiative to do housework. \”Youth Talk\” There is a boy standing on the rooftop and shouting to his mother, praising her as the \”savior\” of the family. For a long time, my father did nothing when he came home from work. Only my mother cleaned, washed and cooked with her tired body. Once when my mother returned to her hometown for a month, my father didn\’t even bother to cook and took him out to eat every day, which made him complain endlessly. \”Why don\’t you take the initiative to take care of Dad and cook for Dad?\” His mother asked him speechlessly. Is the boy lazy? Actually no, it\’s because the father at home doesn\’t see \”work\”, doesn\’t do housework, and doesn\’t set the right example for him. In reality there are manyThere is also this problem in the family: at home, the mother does the housework, and the father \”hands off the housekeeping\”. When children see this, they will naturally feel that \”housework is women\’s business and has nothing to do with men.\” When they get married and have children in the future, they will easily treat the next generation with \”prejudice\”. And a father who has a job in mind and takes the initiative to do housework can break this wrong \”curse\” and eliminate children\’s gender stereotypes. I think of what a female friend next to me who started an independent business shared: \”Growing up, my father basically did all the work at home, and my mother only helped out occasionally. This made me feel that housework is not exclusive to women, nor is it a very important thing. It’s a painful thing, but a process that makes the family beautiful.” So after graduation, she did not choose a stable job as a clerk, but bravely challenged herself to start a business. When a father does housework, he conveys a sense of responsibility and shapes his children\’s correct outlook. When he picks up the broom to clean and cook in the kitchen, the child sees a role model and a sense of happiness. Be able to speak well, be gentle and patient. Some people say: \”Dad\’s mouth and actions hide mother\’s feng shui. Whether dad knows how to speak will cultivate mother and also affect the children.\” How many children have fathers in their minds who either seem to be erratic or unstable? The \”shadow\” is either serious, scary, or makes you nervous when you think about it. A 14-year-old boy from Hunan often took time off because of his weak health. He couldn\’t keep up with his studies as soon as he reached junior high school. Once when he encountered a bottleneck in his homework and didn\’t want to write, his father became furious, scolded him, and told him to \”get out.\” The boy felt really aggrieved, so he picked up his schoolbag and tent the next day and left home in anger. He would rather starve and freeze outside than go home. Marshall Luxemburg, the author of \”Nonviolent Communication\”, said: \”Maybe we don\’t think the way we talk is violent, but our words often cause pain to ourselves and others.\” Dad doesn\’t speak well, but he does kill others. Heart. This verbal violence is beyond imagination. Many children who were scolded harshly by their fathers when they were young are all waiting for a gentle and patient care and greeting. How good will a child who can truly be treated tenderly by his father be in the future? Just look at the writer Wang Zengqi. No matter how hard life was when I was a child, no matter how difficult the conditions were, my father never complained or put on a straight face. Instead, he hummed a little tune and happily played and chatted with the children all day long. Even if the child calls him \”old man\” when he is young or old, the father responds as if he has no temper and is like a friend to the child. When he grew up, Wang Zengqi was known as \”China\’s last pure literati\”. Both his character and mentality were admirable and made his children feel ashamed. Whether a child is good or not depends 90% on the father\’s character. Only when a father learns to be a \”loving father\”, is not prone to violence and anger, and knows how to say good things to build up his children, can the children have a more stable future and live out their lives in gentle love. Be proactive and “chicken” yourself before “chickening” your children. When it comes to the father who knows how to “chicken” himself best, it is none other than the master of fairy tales, Zheng Yuanjie. His son couldn\’t stand the exam-oriented education model. He supported his son to drop out of school and study at home, and he taught himself. Although like all parents, they hope that their sons will succeed in school and become independent in the future.He is independent, but he does not keep \”forcing\” his son to learn, but \”does it himself and shows it to his children.\” Every day, Zheng Yuanjie gets up at 4:30 in the morning to write, determined to make the monthly magazine \”Fairy Tale Master\” he founded last 30 years. Even though he was humiliated in front of others, he did not get angry. Instead, he ignited a stronger fighting spirit and told himself to write it down and prove it to everyone. Under his influence, his eldest son Zheng Yaqi also learned to \”compete\” with himself and devoted himself physically and mentally to computers that interested him. Others regard him as having \”low academic qualifications\”, but he has lived a more exciting life than most people. Not only has he created an unparalleled \”Zheng Yuanjie Fairy Tale\” IP ecology, but he has also established his own company. Professor Li Meijin said in \”Round Table School\”: \”Any performance of a child is basically the standard of his parents.\” What kind of father and what values are in life have a huge impact on children unconsciously. If the father is lazy, passive, and unwilling to make progress, the child will most likely not learn self-awareness and self-discipline; only if the father is motivated, proactive, and works hard, the child will dare to try, not be afraid of failure, and become excellent and successful little by little. The growth of a child is a practice that requires \”self-education\” by the father. Only by doing a good job of yourself and always maintaining a state of learning and improvement can your children see it and internalize it in their hearts, imitating their father\’s example and demanding of themselves. Wu Zhihong, a psychologist who respects and cares about mothers, said: \”Many people put their focus entirely on the children when they have children. But in fact, the relationship between husband and wife is the \’Dinghai Shengpin\’ in the family.\” At home , Dad knows how to respect and care about mother, and prioritize and take care of mother\’s feelings, which is the cornerstone of family happiness. I saw a very heartwarming video not long ago. In order to celebrate the \”eleventh anniversary of love\”, my father came home from get off work and bought a bouquet of flowers for my mother, and also brought a lot of delicious things. When the two sons at home saw it, they instantly transformed into \”super warm men\” and hurriedly courted their mother. This kind of scene is not my father’s whim, but a consistent pattern of getting along with each other in daily life. As my mother said: \”Because my husband takes good care of me and loves me, my two sons also take good care of me.\” With three men like these taking care of themselves and caring for themselves at home every day, it is not difficult to imagine how much my mother feels. Happy, happy? A mother\’s mood is peaceful and happy, which benefits not only herself, but also her children and family. A netizen in the video comment area also said: \”My dad is very good to my mom, so good that it feels like he is dating. When the weather gets cold, he will buy my mom hand warmers and foot warmers, and he will hold hands when going out, even when eating. My mother took it first. In my memory, I have never seen my mother get angry, so my sister and I are very happy and very confident. \”A mother who is loved by her father will be more natural and use the same method. To love and raise children. A mother’s heart is full of warmth and touching, and she has enough strength to care for more people around her. Children who grow up in such a harmonious and warm family atmosphere will definitely have less psychological burden and pressure than others and can live freely. Educator Spencer has a famous saying that is worth pondering and learning from every parent: “The characteristics of a father’s body, temperament, and thinking can easily be misunderstood by his children.Be an idol in your heart. Children also gain the confidence to face the outside world from their father. The father is the guide for his children to the outside world, and he has a huge influence, whether good or bad. \”The true best love for children is that fathers have the courage to shoulder the burden of education, constantly adjust and change themselves, and learn to be the best role models for their children. Only when fathers are their children\’s backers and the pillars of the family can their children\’s world be transformed. A well-organized family will be warmer and happier. With father\’s loving company and blessing, the children will be favored by the years and go straight to a happy future.
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