These 6 compliments are a lifelong talisman for children

Good praise is inexhaustible wealth in a child\’s life. Mr. Cai Yuanpei said: \”Family is the first school in life.\” In family education, the greatest wisdom lies in how to use \”praise\” to allow children to gain the power to stimulate growth through positive feedback. Good praise is not just a simple \”you are great\”, but it subtly cultivates children\’s \”growth mindset\” and allows them to develop abilities in six aspects: paying attention to details, being good at cooperation, being organized, and understanding Choice, daring to be creative, and leadership. \”Baby, you handle this detail so well!\” Details determine success or failure. Many two- and three-year-old children like to squat on the ground and look at ants for an hour; some children look at a toy repeatedly… Children can always see details that we have not discovered. In fact, this is a child\’s \”detail-sensitive period\”. It is very important to cultivate children\’s ability to pay attention to details during this period. Paying attention to details is not a grind, but an attitude of striving for excellence. Children who pay attention to details will go further in the future. In ordinary education, parents can often say to their children: \”Baby, you handle this detail very well.\” For example, when a child writes, a certain word is written well, a certain stroke is written in a standardized way, or the child helps After doing housework, don\’t simply praise him with \”awesome\”, but point out the specific place that he cleaned very well. By praising children for their handling of details, children will gain the motivation to continue studying and pursue rigor and quality. Paying attention to details is the strongest competitiveness in children. \”Baby, you completed XXX with everyone!\” Children who are good at cooperating with others have found a shortcut to success. International sociologists once conducted an experiment: they found some children aged 5 to 7, formed groups of three, and prepared a bottle for each group. In the bottle, there are three small balls hanging by strings, and the mouth of the bottle can only accommodate one small ball to enter and exit freely. Each child in each group is required to grab a rope. After calling the start of the game, see which group of children can pull all three balls out of the bottle the fastest. Each child struggled to pull out his or her own ball, but, obviously, everyone failed. Cooperation can lead to win-win results. In our real life, most families have only one child, and several adults take care of it. Many children have plenty of personality, but do not know how to cooperate with others. Children\’s cooperative spirit requires parents to guide and encourage them in daily education. For example, when a child completes a task with other children while playing in the park, parents can say to the child: \”Baby, you and the child completed XXX together. You are really cooperative.\” When the child offers to help you with housework When doing this, I also say this to the child: \”You and mom will work together to finish today\’s dinner…\” to let the child feel that \”cooperation\” is a correct, positive and powerful thing. Children who are good at cooperating with others have stronger tolerance and acceptance, which is more conducive to their growth and development. \”Baby, your method is so creative, even mom didn\’t think of it!\” Creative children will always live a wonderful life. Although today’s children have developed networks and opportunities to see the wider world,, but often feel that life is boring. It seems that only when watching TV and playing with mobile phones can you feel a little joy in life. Is our life really too boring? Of course not, it’s just that children are affected by fixed thinking and lack creativity in life. In fact, children are born with specific creativity, but due to the influence of their growth environment, creativity is covered up. In daily life, parents can often say to their children: \”Baby, this method of yours is really innovative.\” Compared with compliments such as \”You are so smart,\” using \”new ideas\” to praise your children\’s new discoveries and research is more effective. Stimulate their motivation to be creative. A British study found that children who are innovative when they play games since childhood have better health as adults. A person\’s creativity not only has many advantages in work, but also in one\’s own life. It is like sunshine, making people like to be with creative people. Such children will not lack friends and opportunities in the future. \”Baby, you did a great job with this plan!\” Children who are well organized don\’t procrastinate and are more relaxed. Mothers often come here for consultation. When their children are doing homework, they always leave their homework all over the table. They write a little bit of this homework and turn over that homework. After an hour or two, they have not finished any homework. In fact, this is because the child lacks order in doing things. He hammers here and there and hammers here and there. As a result, he cannot get anything done and cannot do it well. Psychologist Greene Ivey discovered in his research that children\’s chaotic behavior is a psychological \”organized disorder.\” In fact, even if a child is just generally unorganized, no matter how talented or smart he is, he will not be able to learn well or do well because he cannot manage his time, study and life well. The result is often either unsatisfactory or unsatisfactory. , or not enough time. When educating their children, parents might as well say to them: \”Baby, let\’s make a plan.\” For example, when a child wants to do homework, they can guide the child to classify the homework, make a plan according to the difficulty level, and do a subject Cross out a subject, which can not only increase the child\’s confidence in doing homework, but also cultivate the orderliness of the child\’s work. In the same way, children can adopt a \”planned\” approach when organizing toys, books, school bags, and clothes, or when going shopping or arranging study schedules. When they see their children handling things more and more efficiently under the guidance of the \”plan\”, parents must say to their children: \”Baby, you did a great job with this plan!\” \”Baby, you can make this choice, mom. I admire you so much!\” Children who know how to choose themselves have a greater sense of purpose in life. Classical Teacher, a Chinese career education expert, mentioned a concept called \”the ability to give yourself happiness\” in a speech. The happiest thing for a person is that he can make choices for himself. However, this kind of confidence and ability to make choices for yourself needs to be cultivated from an early age. In life, parents can say to their children more often: \”Baby, you can choose whatever you want.\” Psychologist Li Zixun once mentioned a case: a 6-year-old girl particularly lacked autonomy in life. If there is phlegm, she will ask her mother what to do; if she is told to spit it out, she will ask where to spit it out; in interpersonal relationshipsDuring the relationship, the mother needs to give instructions on which child to talk to and what to say. The reason is that when the mother was raising her, she was worried about her child making mistakes or affecting her health, so she took good care of her child. It is not difficult to imagine how such children will leave their parents and live independently in the future. Cultivating children to know how to choose themselves can start with every little thing in life. For example: when you are getting ready to go out, you can say to your child: \”Baby, go to the closet and pick out a skirt.\” When you arrive at the supermarket, make an agreement with your child that you can only buy a certain amount of things, but leave the choice of what to buy to your child; Society is developing rapidly, and there is never a fixed experience that can guide a person through his entire life. Rather than letting your children choose between A and B early and making yourself anxious, it is better to cultivate your children\’s choices from an early age. In fact, the choice is between A to Z. \”Baby, under your leadership, this matter was done so well!\” Children\’s leadership is the easter egg of their lives. Many people know that Huo Siyan and Du Jiang\’s son Uhm He is a warm little boy. In fact, Uhm\’s \”leadership\” is also very good. When participating in \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, my friend Max was sick. He would take the initiative to call his father to help, and also thoughtfully arranged for Max: \”Don\’t worry, it will be fine in a few days.\” Not only that, in order to prevent his friend from feeling lonely , he also organized children who were traveling with him to play with the sick Max. Compared with other children, the little one is a bit like the \”king of children\”, bringing the little friends together. He is like an attractive halo that warms the people around him, and he can also act like a leader, leading everyone forward together. Many people think that since they are not leaders, they do not need leadership. actually not. True \”leadership\” is a kind of passion and enthusiasm from the heart, driving oneself to be a better self, and being willing to serve adults and lead everyone to become better and better. Simply put, it is a positive attitude towards life and principles of doing things. There has long been scientific research: every child has the potential to become a leader, leadership skills can be taught, and every child must develop leadership skills. In our daily education, we can often say to our children: \”Baby, you can organize this.\” For example, if the family wants to treat guests to dinner, go out for an outing, or even buy groceries every day, we can try to let the children Come up with a plan. If it is suitable and does not affect normal life arrangements, you can adopt the child\’s plan and let the child be the main responsible person and let him make arrangements. Finally, after the matter is completed, parents need to patiently take their children to review and sum up the experience. Carol Dweck, a professor of behavioral psychology at Stanford University, proposed a concept called \”growth mindset.\” He divided people\’s thinking patterns into two types: \”fixed mindset\” and \”growth mindset\”, and pointed out that people with a growth mindset are more likely to achieve success and feel happy. We are always used to giving our children abundant supplies and meticulous care. In fact, these things will eventually run out. Only the way of thinking and attitude cannot be taken away by anyone. And the organization of handling things, the ability to choose oneself, attention to details, and the ability to cooperate with othersAbility, creativity and leadership are the steps that help a person go further and better. If you love your children, use these 6 sentences more often to help your children develop a positive growth mindset.