These three signs of a child are not rebellious but a signal for help. He has encountered an obstacle that he cannot overcome.

A mother in the community complained to me, saying that the older her children get, the more disobedient they become, and they won’t listen to anything you say. We are still far from adolescence, so why is it so difficult to communicate with children? As their children grow up day by day, many parents feel that today\’s children are becoming more and more difficult to discipline. Not only are your children unwilling to communicate with you, but they also keep saying all kinds of things. For example, \”Whatever, it\’s all your fault, anyway, you…\” etc. Some parents believe that this is when their children enter a rebellious period, and both boys and girls will encounter these troublesome problems. In fact, the various behaviors displayed by the child are not rebellious, but he is sending a signal for help. Children encounter difficulties that they cannot overcome and need help from their parents. If you can understand the reasons behind your child\’s behavior and prescribe the right medicine, you can better help your child grow. For example, the following three signs actually hide a lot of important information. Have you understood them all? Children often say: Forget it, anyway… Educating children is a sacred duty that parents must devote their entire lives to. However, not all parents know the correct way to educate their children. Some parents clearly love their children from the bottom of their hearts, but for some reason, their words hurt them as soon as they are spoken. In life, we can always find that some parents like to use criticism to educate their children to make their children aware of their shortcomings. While cooking, the child wanted to come over and help. Looking at the child\’s tiptoeing, he said to the child: \”Forget it, you go play, you don\’t know how to do it anyway.\” Seeing the child\’s learning regressed, he couldn\’t speak in a hurry. Choose your words and say to your child: \”That\’s it. You won\’t be able to go to Tsinghua University or Peking University in the future, just go to an ordinary university.\” Sometimes, although this may be just an angry remark, the child is likely to take it seriously; in this case With verbal hints, children naturally learn this mantra. If you pay close attention, the two words that those children who are called \”rebellious\” by their parents like to say most are \”anyway\”. \”Anyway, my mother doesn\’t listen to anything I say.\” \”Anyway, everything is my fault.\” \”Anyway, I can\’t learn it anyway.\” What does the word \”anyway\” that children often say actually represent? What psychology? Why would a child say such a thing? Many times, children say \”anyway\” because they have been hit too many times and out of fear when something happens. Not wanting to experience the hurt of loss again, I began to lower my expectations and use \”anyway\” to cover up my expectations. If your child always says the word \”anyway\”, this is not because the child is rebellious, nor does it mean that the child wants to go against you, but because he is sending a cry for help. The child has encountered a difficult situation and needs help from his parents. What should you do when your child says \”anyway\”? It\’s very simple. We just need to correct the child\’s rebuttal and see the real needs behind the child\’s \”rejection\”. For example, the subtext behind the sentence \”Anyway, you can\’t\” is \”I hope you can.\” The subtext behind the sentence \”Anyway, you think I am not as good as others\” is, \”I hope you can think I am better than others.\” After understanding the child’s true meaning,, parents must respond to their children\’s expectations in a timely manner with a positive attitude. Parents should tell their children that they see their expectations and that their ideas will be respected. Of course, we do not have to meet every need of our children; for those unreasonable requirements or requirements that cannot be met, we can explain the reasons to our children. Even if you can\’t do it, if your child knows that you actually understand his expectations, he will get a sense of comfort; even if his expectations cannot be met, he may not feel hurt. Children always like to confront their parents because they want to experience the feeling of growing up. Many parents like to tell their children what they should do and what they should not do, and they are always \”good\” at controlling their children\’s behavior. When children falter in their actions, or contradict their parents, or start to confront adults, parents will become even more anxious, confused and unsure of what to do. Why would your child go against you? From the age of 2 to 4 years old, children will experience a sensitive period of self-awareness and a sensitive period of order. Similar rebellious behaviors that appear at this time are very significant for the growth of children. This is the child\’s self growing and developing, declaring to the world: I am an independent individual and I have my own choices. Especially children after the age of 7 have become \”little adults\” who love to sing the opposite. Children in this period always feel that they have grown up, they always want to make their own decisions on many things, and they also have their own little secrets. Some are even willing to share it with classmates and good friends, but are not willing to let their parents know. Children at this stage regard themselves as little adults, do not like the interference of their elders, and like to do things by themselves. But they will also be fragile and dependent on their parents, unreasonable and very squeamish. Especially when it comes to parents\’ interference and yelling, they will talk back in protest. How should parents guide children who like to confront each other? At this time, what parents need to do most is to let go, return the sense of control to their children little by little, and allow their children to grow through exploration. The famous educator Suhomlinsky said: \”Education cannot always hold the child\’s hand. It must also let him walk independently, make him responsible for himself, and form his own attitude towards life.\” Sometimes, it is not that the child is not good enough. , but the parents are reluctant to let go. When parents try to loosen their hands and give their children trust and freedom, perhaps the children will bring more surprises. Children who have a strong temper are trying to protect their own opinions. German psychologist Haicha conducted a famous experiment: He studied 100 children who had a strong sense of resistance between the ages of 2 and 5 and 100 children who did not have such a sense. , followed and observed for more than ten years. The results found that 84% of children who had a strong sense of resistance in childhood were strong-willed, independent-minded, and able to independently analyze, judge things and make decisions when they grew up. Among children who have no sense of resistance, only 26% can stick to themselves as adults; the remaining 74% have no independent opinions and cannot bear independent responsibilities. A stubborn child looks very stubborn, but is actually a \”blue chip\”. If parents educate them properly, the child’s hidden energy will be stimulated and benefit him throughout his life. Respecting a child\’s \”stubbornness\” is protecting the child\’s sense of opinion. The child\’s temper is too stubborn, how should it be guided? 1. Adjust your mentality and respect your children. Faced with \”stubborn\” children, parents must adjust their mentality. Respect the child\’s \”self-awareness\” expression. If the child\’s self-awareness is not fully developed or encounters too much resistance during the development process, the child will lose confidence. Some will even use more rebellious ways to prove themselves. 2. Control your temper and listen to your children more. Stubborn children need their parents to listen. The reason why they are stubborn and refuse to listen is because they have formed an opinion of their own in their hearts. This view leads to their lack of cooperation. Children need their parents to spend more time listening. When parents listen, they can first identify with their children\’s behavior or thoughts; this will help the children calm down, and parents can also discover the reasons through their children\’s stories. 3. Use rules to restrain yourself from saying \”no\”. If stubbornness is emotional, then rules are rational. For stubborn children, they can have tempers and willful behaviors, but parents must control some issues in principle. When establishing rules for your children, avoid using words such as \”you can\’t\” and \”you must.\” Parents can discuss with their children the formulation of rules, what matters can be decided by themselves, what matters can be consulted by parents, and what matters must not be done, so that children have a sense of boundaries. The establishment of rules should be simple, specific, and clear, and should be established bit by bit, not too many. Children and parents are actually mirrors of each other. Through this mirror, children can vaguely see what they will look like when they grow up; through this mirror, parents can also seem to see their own growth trajectory. We all learn from each other, grow together, feel love, and then see where each other shines in love.