These three types of mothers are most likely to make their children enemies, especially the first type

Parents play a vital role in their children\’s growth. They are their children\’s first teachers and guides in life. Although children may inherit some personality and temperament from their father, the influence of their mother cannot be ignored. From a physiological point of view, the mother is the life source of the child. She provides the necessary nutrients to the fetus through the umbilical cord. At the psychological level, mothers not only give life to their children through their words and deeds, but also shape their children\’s character. The mother\’s character plays a decisive role in whether the child can have a bright future and a healthy mental state. However, in real life, there are several types of mothers that may cause problems for children\’s growth. 01 The overly controlling mother. The suffocating mother-daughter relationship between Meng Mingwei, played by Xu Fan, and her daughter Li Yijin, played by Ma Sichun, was a hit recently. It triggered countless discussions among viewers. Li Yijin grew up under her mother\’s various demands, pickiness, and pressure, euphemistically calling it \”for your own good.\” In order to escape from her mother\’s control, Li Yijin went to work in Shanghai after graduating from university. Meng Mingwei made endless \”life-threatening calls\” every day to care for her daughter. She even took it upon herself to call Li Yijin\’s leader to resign for her, forcing her daughter to return to her hometown. Work and get married and live a step-by-step life. She would randomly look through her daughter\’s personal belongings to prevent her from falling in love. Li Yijin continued to struggle to escape from her mother\’s excessive control, and even collapsed to the point of severing the relationship between mother and daughter. An online survey showed: What impact will excessive parental control have on children? A netizen shared her experience: Her mother was extremely controlling and penetrated into almost every corner of her life. The mother must take away her mobile phone at ten o\’clock every night. If she does not hand it over, she will be subjected to violence. There was even a time when she and her mother faced off until two in the morning in order to get her phone back. Her mother threatened to jump off the building if she didn\’t hand over the phone. Her mother also has to intervene in her social life, check her chat history, and even control the tone of her chat. When she wanted to update the old appliances at home, her mother objected, saying that if she bought new ones, she would have to throw away the old ones. The details of when she goes out to eat with boys must also be reported – where they eat, who they eat with, and how many people there are. If the same boy goes out more than twice, the mother will start discussing marriage. Her mother even asked her to fall in love only once in her life and then get married. Once married, no matter what problems you encounter, you must endure it and never divorce. From big things to small things, her life is tightly controlled by her mother. As she grew older, she realized this behavior was controlling. Although she begged her mother not to do this, her mother\’s answer was always: \”No way! You are my child, I have to take care of you!\” If she did not act according to her mother\’s wishes, she would be scolded, and as a result she has not yet talked about it. in love. The mother imposes her will on her daughter, which is a huge harm to her daughter. As one netizen said: \”What I need are apples, but she always gives me pears. If I don\’t need it, she will force it on me. If I don\’t accept it, I will be punished.\” Every child has it. He has his own dreams and future, but is forced to bear the expectations of his parents. Research shows that parentsExcessive control will not only not increase the child\’s happiness, but may lead to the child\’s low happiness and strong dependence in the future. Its negative impact is comparable to the loss of a loved one. As parents, we should not over-control our children, but encourage them to think independently and grow freely. As Burley said: \”Never try to control a child. If a child can be easily controlled by you, he will also be easily controlled by others in the future. Only an independent personality can have a complete life.\” If we don\’t want our children to be controlled by the outside world, , we should first be sensible parents and tell our children: \”I love you, but you are free.\” 02 A heart-wrenching news happened to a mother who could not control her emotions some time ago. A mother took her daughter to look for a job, but no one was willing to hire her. Seeing that the job was not available, and the day was about to pass, the mother was in an extremely bad mood. At this time, the daughter was hungry, and the mother took out the last bit of money to buy sausages for her daughter. Unexpectedly, her daughter vomited after taking one bite. This action angered the mother, who was in a bad mood. She beat and scolded her daughter, and passers-by heard her and came to try to persuade her. The mother became even more agitated and kicked her daughter… This is a single mother who has been wronged on a daily basis and has accumulated a lot of grievances with nowhere to vent. She had also worked hard to live and overcame the despair of committing suicide, but today was just too bad. However, once a person who cannot control his emotions becomes a mother, it will be a \”disaster\” for the baby. A 9-year-old boy was tied up and beaten by his mother all night because he lost his mobile phone. He could not open his eyes again the next day. Another mother, after her divorce, had a dispute with her ex-husband over the custody of their two children, and actually threw her 4-year-old son out of the fourth floor! Remember that mother who jumped off a building with her daughter? Because her husband cheated on her, her mother lost control and wanted to take her daughter to get it over with. But the daughter grabbed her mother and said, \”Mom, I\’ll jump by myself.\” Too many parents use their children\’s behavioral problems as the starting point for discipline. In fact, they have mistaken the logic and reversed the cause and effect. Children\’s problems are precisely the result of parents\’ example, parenting style, parent-child relationship, etc. If you want to change your children, you must first change yourself. Indeed, the mother\’s emotions are the root cause of the child\’s behavior. Using violence and swearing as a means of education, especially for children, is undoubtedly the worst method. A mother\’s negative emotions often become a thorn that deeply hurts the child\’s heart. I have a neighbor who is anxious about her daughter\’s academic performance. She often cannot control her emotions and yells at her daughter. The daughter is often scolded by her mother for not being able to do her homework, and is even dismissed as \”stupid\” because she cannot even solve the simplest questions. Once, when her daughter was reading an extracurricular book, her mother impulsively tore up the book, which frightened her daughter and made her cry. Such conflicts have almost become commonplace, and the daughter has become rebellious and sometimes even confronts her mother. The \”butterfly effect\” in psychology tells us that a small action may cause a chain of large reactions. The mother\’s mood swings are such a trigger point, which directly affects the child\’s emotional state. A psychologist once pointed out: \”Children are emotionally dependent on their parents.Direct sensor, parents\’ uneasiness can make children nervous, while parents\’ relaxation can make children feel happy. \”Especially for the mother, her emotions directly affect the child\’s emotional fluctuations, which can be said to be a barometer of the child\’s mood. The mother\’s emotions not only affect the present, but also affect the child\’s future. The child perceives and understands through the mother\’s emotions The world around her. If the mother is often emotional, the child\’s future may also become unstable. Therefore, if the mother can learn to control her emotions and give her child a stable and positive growth environment, the child\’s inner world will also be more stable. Bright and full of hope. 03 Mothers with a Strong Sense of Sacrifice In the program \”Teacher Please Reply\” on Beijing Satellite TV, there was a stay-at-home mother who graduated from Chinese opera. She joined the program because her relationship with her 9-year-old daughter had reached a freezing point. The child nearly jumped off the building while doing her homework. When it came to her work, the mother broke down. She cried and said that she had a dream when she was admitted to the theater, but she devoted her youth to her children full time in the second year after graduating from college. Give it to your family. When you get older, think about it. You will have no job in your life and will only take care of your children. This mother’s emotional breakdown and problems in family education are inseparable from the dedication and sacrifice she has always emphasized. Why did she follow. The relationship between children is so bad. Why do children want to jump off the building when they have an emotional breakdown? When a mother places her unfinished dreams and sacrifices on her children, this is a heavy burden, especially for a child who is only 9 years old. This is an unbearable weight for them. On a forum, a mother who worked as a study companion shared her experience. She said that she sacrificed her own time for her son\’s study and even lost herself for her child. She moved her studies to another house. Now, her son wants to live in the original house, and she can only sleep in the study room. In order to ensure that her son completes his homework on time, she does not let him think by himself, but uses her mobile phone to help him find answers. , often busy until late at night. In her third year of junior high school, she stayed up late with her son almost every night. She only slept for three to four hours. During the day, she had to review lessons she had never learned before, and even gave up her only hobby. She lamented that such sacrifices caused her memory to decline, and she forgot many things as soon as she turned around. Her hair was thinning and turning white, and she also had problems with her lumbar spine. She could not lift heavy objects and had to rely on medicine to relieve it. She also had anemia. She is much older than her peers. Despite her sacrifices, her son is often disobedient and complains to his grandparents whenever he is scolded, which makes her feel very aggrieved and sad. However, if we think about it from another perspective, have we ever considered the safety of our children? What about feelings? Psychologist Jung once said that one of the worst effects of parents on children is to make them feel that they are not living a good life. As mothers, we should give up the idea of ​​\”sacrifice everything for you\” when educating our children. \”A sense of sacrifice. We don\’t need to sacrifice ourselves to \”fulfil\” our children. Parents with a stronger sense of sacrifice often expect more rewards. In the end, their children may not be able to bear such pressure. I was also a stay-at-home mother , although my situation is better than that of many stay-at-home mothers – my husband’s salary has never been a problem,My parents-in-law never express dissatisfaction in front of me, but the life of a stay-at-home mother is still full of challenges. This challenge is not only the trivial matters of daily life, but also the insecurities deep inside. Interrupted careers, shrinking social circles, uncertainty about future direction…every choice has its price. When you choose to devote yourself to your children, it means you have to give up something else. Every decision is a trade-off and should not be viewed solely as a sacrifice. Those who say they sacrifice may actually be avoiding responsibility. They have decided to give up something when they make the choice, but then are reluctant to actually let it go. If you only focus on what you have lost, you may not be able to do a good job in spending time with your children or finding yourself. Rather than lamenting with empty hands, it is better to focus on the present, accept the irreversible loss, and actively utilize existing resources and opportunities. I hope that every mother who has made huge \”sacrifice\” for her family can get rid of this \”sacrifice\” mentality, learn to enjoy the current life, and strive to make positive changes. In this way, children can truly feel loved. Only a positive and optimistic mother can raise healthy and happy children!