Thinking determines destiny, cultivating children\’s growth mindset is the king of education

Mindset, the way we view ourselves, determines our future to a large extent. When I was chatting with Rooney recently, I discovered that he has a mindset that he doesn’t need to practice hard because he thinks he’s smart (for details, see Why Don’t Praise Your Children for Being Smart?). I was very worried and thought about how to correct his thinking. What I\’m thinking of now is, first, I will no longer praise him for being smart or powerful, but try to praise him for his hard work and finding ways; second, chat with him every night to understand his new ideas; third, find some Share with him real cases of success through hard work. While searching for cases, I came across a book \”Seeing Yourself as You Grow\” by Stanford University psychology professor Carol S. Dweck on the Internet. The book shared such a case: In the world of sports, everyone believes in the importance of talent. Billy Beane was such a sporting genius. He was widely considered the next Babe Ruth. When Beane was a sophomore in high school, he was already the top scorer on the basketball team, the quarterback on the football team, and the top hitter on the baseball team. His talent is truly enviable. However, once things went astray, Bean began to look for something to vent his anger on. This is not just because he doesn\’t like failure, but because he doesn\’t seem to know how to face failure at all. As he progressed from school player to professional player, Beane\’s temper got worse. It\’s a nightmare every time I hit the field. He saw this as an opportunity to be humiliated, and every time he failed to run a base, he would feel frustrated to the point of collapse. Worse, Bean never tried to correct these bad habits in a constructive way. Because he believes that talent does not require hard work, and mediocre talents without talent need to work hard. Geniuses will not ask for help from others, otherwise it is a sign of weakness. In short, geniuses never analyze their own shortcomings and then improve through guidance and practice—the very idea of ​​thinking they are flawed is terrifying. Troubled by this thought pattern, Bean sank deeper and deeper into the trap, completely succumbing to the weight of his immense talent. As an athlete, Beane never got over this mindset. However, after becoming a manager in the Major League Baseball (Big League), Beane achieved astonishing success. How did this happen? One player who lived and fought alongside Beane throughout his baseball career was Lenny Dykstra. Dykstra\’s physical fitness and athletic talent are far inferior to Beane, but his performance and achievements amazed Beane. Beane said, \”He had no concept of failure… and I had the exact opposite.\” Beane continued, \”I began to understand what a baseball player was supposed to be like. I could see how far I was from that, and Lenny fits the bill perfectly.\” Through his own observation, listening and thinking, Bean finally understood that thinking mode and mentality are much more important than talent. Beane starts to believe in scoringBaserunning—the key to baseball—is more about process than talent. Beane, who understood these principles, served as the general manager of the Oakland team and led the team to an outstanding record of 103 wins in the 2002 season – they won the regional championship trophy and almost broke the North American League\’s winning streak. Surprisingly, this team’s total payroll ranks second to last among teams in the league! Why did Bean change so much before and after meeting Dykstra? The fundamental reason is that his thinking mode has changed from fixed to growth. What is a mindset? Simply put, it’s the way you see yourself. People with a \”fixed mindset\” believe that their intelligence and abilities are immutable, and that the entire world is made up of tests designed to test our intelligence and abilities. People with this kind of thinking are often afraid of failure, worried that they will look less smart or stupid, and refuse to accept challenges and face difficulties, thus limiting their development potential. People with a \”growth mindset\” believe that everything is inseparable from personal efforts, and the world is full of interesting challenges that help us learn and grow. People with a growth mindset believe that their IQ and abilities can be changed through their own efforts. They believe that their potential is unknown and that difficulties and failures are just challenges to help them progress. They are passionate about learning. For example, in the field of sports, people with a fixed mindset will believe: \”Your ability in sports is certain, and no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to make much improvement.\” \”Athletic ability is innate. If you want to be good in sports Well, you have to be talented.\” People with a growth mindset will think: \”As long as you train hard, your sports performance can always improve.\” \”To be successful in sports, you need to learn various skills , and practice regularly.\” Different \”thinking traits\” create completely different mentality, personality and destiny. Those with a growth mindset exhibit the strongest traits and willpower. They are people with champion traits. Professor Dweck has also found differences between the two modes of thinking in many other fields. In relationships, people with a growth mindset look for partners who make them better, while people with a fixed mindset are more likely to find partners who allow them to stagnate. More importantly, Professor Dweck\’s research results confirm that every time people with a growth mindset break through their \”comfort zone\” to learn new knowledge and meet new challenges, the neurons in the brain will form new, strong new ones. With a strong connection, over time, they really become smarter and smarter. The latest brain science research results also show that the human brain has a high degree of plasticity, just like a muscle. As long as you work hard and train properly, you can build strong muscles, and this process is not restricted by age. In other words, as long as you have a growth mindset and are not limited by your own talent and IQ, through continuous hard work and appropriate methods, your intelligence can be improved. In this regard, DweckThe professor gave a series of successful cases. After fourth-grade students at South Bronx Elementary School received growth mindset education and training, their math test scores quickly rose from the bottom to first in New York state in just one year. This research result is really good news for us as parents. That is to say, no matter what level of IQ our children have (except those with brain damage), we can cultivate their children\’s growth mindset so that they can continue to Work hard, train their brains, and let them grow into excellent people. So how to train children to become growth-minded people? Professor Dweck said that it is not difficult and some small interventions can have the effect of shaping a growth mindset. First, use the correct \”Praise\” technique to praise your child, preferably starting from infancy. Don\’t praise your child\’s intelligence or abilities, and don\’t label your child. Don\’t praise your child with vague statements like \”This painting is great, you are our Picasso!\” or \”Baby, you are so smart!\” Doing so will not increase children\’s self-confidence and allow them to learn better. Instead, it will make children think that they are valued and praised just because of their IQ. The end result is that they refuse to accept challenges and take risks, fearing that if they mess up, they will look \”not smart\” or \”stupid\”, and over time, they slowly lose enthusiasm for learning. Praising a child must be specific and clear, praising the process rather than the results, such as his efforts, concentration, persistence, creativity, strategies, etc. Second, use the word \”yet\” to transform your child\’s thinking model. Professor Dweck found in a Chicago high school that children who failed the test there were not given a defining word that represented failure (such as failed, F), but \”not yet\” (not yet achieved). The two have completely different meanings. If you get an \”unqualified\” evaluation, it means that you are judged as a failure, you have no room for improvement, and your door to learning and growth is closed; and \”not yet\” means that you are already progressing in learning. On the track, it just hasn’t reached the end yet. If your child says \”I can\’t learn math well\”, please ask him to add yet at the end of the sentence, which means: you just haven\’t learned math well yet. If your child says \”I can\’t do this\”, please ask him to add yet at the end of the sentence, which means: you just can\’t do it yet, but you are already learning how to do it. If your child says \”I tried, but it didn\’t work\”, please ask him to add yet at the end of the sentence, which means: you just can\’t do it this time, keep working hard, and you will do better next time. By using the word yet, we help children shape the mindset that learning changes over time, and that current setbacks and failures are just a normal process that will be experienced in the learning curve. Of course, to do all this, as parents we must first change our thinking and look at our children with a growth mindset. Let me share with you a true story told by a teacher. Ten years ago I was a trainee at a high school in Yorkshire.My instructor couldn\’t guide me because of a family emergency. At that time, he was afraid that I wouldn\’t be able to handle the most difficult units of algorithms and data structures, so he told me, \”If there are any questions, there is a kid named Dan in the class who is famous all over the country.\” He entered the top five in the computer competition, and his answer was the standard answer.\” So, I paid special attention to this kid named Dan, and found that he was always secretly playing games in class, which made me particularly uneasy. I thought it must be because my speaking skills were terrible, and my English was not good enough at that time. Feeling more guilty. So I put extra thought into preparing lessons every night. In class, Dan is often called upon to answer questions. When other children have problems with their programs, he is consciously asked to help debug them. Gradually, Dan stopped playing games in class. He actively and conscientiously completed every assignment inside and outside class, and also actively moved from the last row to the first row to listen to the class. During the unit exam, he scored 100 points as expected. And when I entered the scores into the student management system, I was shocked. This Dan’s previous score had only accumulated 66 points! There was another Russian kid named Dan in the class with a score of 98. It turned out that I had confused the two Dans! And this unintentional mistake of mine actually contributed to Dan\’s incredibly good grades. Ten years ago, I did not have rich teaching experience, nor profound professional knowledge. I could not even speak English well. I only had a deep belief in a child\’s ability. So I was able to fully accept his shortcomings, try to find reasons within myself to change them, encourage him from time to time, and take the initiative to create opportunities for him. Imagine that your child is Dan. When you look at him with a fixed mindset, you may think that he is useless, has many problems, and will be a mediocre person for the rest of his life. However, now, growth thinking tells us that as long as we keep working hard, this child has unlimited potential and life has unlimited possibilities. The question is, can you be convinced of this? First compare the following 8 pictures to see if you are a person with a growth mindset? 8 pictures to tell whether you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? People with a fixed mindset: Avoid challenges. Growth mindset people: welcome challenges. Fixed mindset people: Hate change. Growth mindset people: Embrace change. People with a fixed mindset: Always focused on limitations. Growth mindset people: Always looking for opportunities. People with a fixed mindset: Incapable of changing the status quo. For people with a growth mindset: anything is possible. People with a fixed mindset: Don’t accept criticism. People with a growth mindset: value feedback and take the initiative to learn. People with a fixed mindset: Like to stay in their comfort zone. People with a growth mindset: like to explore new things. People with a fixed mindset: Sometimes they feel that hard work is in vain. Growth mindset people: Every failure is a lesson. People with a fixed mindset: don’t think they need to study too much after graduation. People with a growth mindset: believe that learning is a lifelong career. We often say that when raising children, you should educate yourself first. Maybe we are not the best at the moment, but we can change our thinking mode: never give up on ourselves, continue to work hard, and be a lifelong learner. At the same time, we are convinced that our children have unlimited potential, no matter what they are. No matter how he is doing now, we will accept him unconditionally, encourage him, and take the initiative to create opportunities for him to enhance his self-confidence.. Maybe one day you will find that he has finally become what you expected. Finally, I recommend everyone to read Professor Dweck’s TED talk, “The Power of Believing that You Can Improve.” Carol Dweck’s TED talk | 10’24” The key to education is to let your children believe that you have the power to make yourself better.