This is the correct way to start doing homework with your baby

Find out the problem. My best friend has been in a bad mood recently. She always says that she is experiencing a mid-life crisis and needs guidance. So I took some time to chat with her every day, but as we chatted, the topic always came down to the same thing: doing homework with my children. She said her head hurts when she thinks about homework. I almost get internal injuries just to do my homework every day! The child sometimes said he was hungry, sometimes said he was sleepy, and sometimes said he couldn\’t write. She taught her patiently, but the child also questioned her answer and asked to call the teacher for confirmation. In short, moths keep coming. For the first two days, we chatted by voice, but on the third day, she started typing, saying that yelling at the child hurt her voice, followed by a series of crying emoticons. My best friend said, \”If my children can take the initiative to do their homework every day, I can live 20 more years.\” Suddenly I felt sorry for her. But Wang Xiaobo once said that all human suffering is essentially anger at one\’s own incompetence. The most painful times just mean that you need to reflect on: What went wrong? Only by identifying the problem can we solve it. Give children enough sense of security. Many parents are asking: \”Why doesn\’t my child like to do homework?\” The answer is simple. No child likes to do homework. However, if parents ask this question, it means that the child\’s state is not just \”not loving\”, but also very resistant to doing homework. For many parents, the first thing they say when seeing their children is homework, \”Is there a lot of homework today?\” \”Have you finished your homework?\” Homework seems to have become the most important thing in a child\’s life. As a result, many children are confused: Which is more important, me or homework? Is the meaning of my life just to complete my homework? The brain is most interested in survival, not learning. When a child feels that homework is more important than himself, the sense of existence weakens and survival anxiety will occur. And you are asking a child with existential anxiety to focus on learning, which is really harsh. Therefore, parents have the responsibility to let their children understand that even if they can\’t do their homework well, it will not affect their parents\’ love for you at all. Express love to your child frequently, ask him after school if he is happy at school, and care about whether he is well fed and in good spirits, instead of always only caring about homework. This is an indispensable sense of security for children. Don\’t hurt your children with your emotions. Recently, a video went viral on WeChat Moments, in which a Shanghai father taught his son to do homework. In the video, the father\’s love for his child is as strong as a mountain and the earth is shattering. While helping his son demonstrate the steps to solve the problem, he roared, sighed, slammed the table, and even called his son \”uncle\”. His overwhelming anger shocked the son next to him into silence. A screen full of bad emotions. I can\’t tell you the extent of that child\’s psychological shadow, but one thing can be confirmed: he probably didn\’t learn the topic in front of him in the end. Because, in a bad mood, no good fruit can be produced. If doing homework is inevitably accompanied by parents\’ anger, this itself means unhappiness. When the workbook is spread out, it is the beginning of disaster. If you have poor posture, you will be yelled at; if you write crookedly, you will be yelled at; if you write incorrectly, you will be yelled at; if you can\’t write, you will be yelled at, and the child\’s heart will only be filled with fear. In the face of fear, people will naturally choose to escape, which is why many children dragThe reason why I don’t want to do my homework. It seems that by not starting to write, you can escape the pain that comes with it. People can only do things well when they are in a happy mood. Although many parents and children are overwhelmed by homework, there are also other children around them who can complete their homework efficiently every day and not miss out on their interests and entertainment. And those kind of children all have one thing in common: they are very happy. Therefore, parents must work hard to ensure that their children are in a good mood when doing homework, and they must not let their bad moods become pressure on their children. When you find yourself having a bad mood, you must detect it immediately and then control it. When I was doing homework with my children, whenever I found that I couldn\’t control the overwhelming power in my body, I would immediately stand up and walk to the living room to calm down for a while. After all, children are biological and cannot be harmed at will. Be your child’s teammate, not your enemy The essence of the parent-child relationship is intimacy. But why does it turn into confrontation when it comes to homework? If you don\’t do homework, your mother will be kind and your son will be filial. If you do, you will be in a hurry. Many parents and children who usually have a harmonious relationship become tense when it comes to homework. The parents are angry and the children are trembling. But many people can\’t remember where this situation began. A friend shared with me her experience of accompanying me on my homework. Before her daughter went to elementary school, she did some preschool education at home. Therefore, her daughter had a good transition from early childhood and completed her homework very well, so she didn\’t have to worry about it. However, I don’t know when the child started to have the habit of procrastinating and dilly-dallying. The homework that could have been completed in forty minutes took her nearly two hours. She complained that she was tired, hungry, couldn\’t hold her urine, and her fingers hurt. She even complained that she was sleepy when she got home and avoided doing homework. Every parent gets angry when they see their children making excuses. My friend was the same, he started roaring like a lion from Hedong, and once even made his daughter cry. Later, she forced herself to calm down and think, and soon discovered that the child\’s procrastination was actually a fear of difficulty. From the moment they are exposed to content they have never learned before, children become unable to concentrate. So, she had a serious talk with her child. In addition to the general principle of \”either don\’t do something or do it well\”, she also emphasized many times, \”Mom will accompany you to write well.\” Every day, she sits with her daughter and focuses solely on her homework. After encountering several questions that she couldn\’t solve, my daughter\’s mood was obviously very low. Later, her daughter said, \”Mom, I\’m cold, please hold me.\” The child had made this request to her before, but she always refused, thinking that she was making excuses. But that day, she forced herself to be patient and satisfy her daughter\’s request. The little child folded her arms around her chest and asked her to stay still. At that moment, she suddenly felt the child\’s fear and vulnerability. After understanding the child\’s feelings, she cannot be angry even if the child deserts. When she encounters a difficult problem, she explains it patiently, and every time the child solves a problem, she will encourage her loudly. In just over a week, the child returned to his original state of focusing on learning. Later, the same situation happened several times again, and the reason was basically that the courses became more difficult. She also used the same method to accompany her daughter through the difficulties. A friend said that if you don’t adjust your situation in time, you should stay with your children.When faced with problems, fear of difficulties is likely to take root in children\’s hearts. Next, homework becomes a chore. Only parents with empathy can understand their children, stand on the same page as their children, and become his backing rather than another enemy. Parents\’ support will also become children\’s courage to overcome homework. Help children develop good habits. Doing homework with you now is so that children can do homework independently in the future. It is very important to help children develop good habits while reading with them. To be able to persist in doing something for a long time, it must be driven by a sense of accomplishment. Therefore, what parents have to do is to help their children gain more and more sense of accomplishment. The child\’s sense of achievement comes from the completion of homework progress on the one hand, and the recognition from the outside world on the other hand. Be sure to praise your child a lot, even if he only makes a little progress or a trivial achievement. As for his shortcomings, it is best to only mention them slightly. Praise is a kind of nourishment. Only when children receive sufficient nourishment will it be easier for them to accept their shortcomings and make improvements. All good habits require time and patience. If parents are impatient and only know how to control their children with bad temper, the result will be contrary to the original intention. Not only does it fail to cultivate good habits, it also damages the parent-child relationship and pushes the child away. Finally, emphasize with your children that \”important things are done first\”, and this view will gradually enter the child\’s subconscious mind. This will not only help the child complete his studies, but will also benefit him throughout his life.