This kind of behavior can destroy a child\’s life, and many parents still do it

Recently, I saw a piece of news on the Internet. When the police from the Taiyuan Police Station of the Shanxi Taiyuan Railway Public Security Department were inspecting, they found an old man with poor eyesight and inconvenient legs and feet sitting in the scorching sun begging. The old lady cannot see clearly and her legs and feet are inconvenient. After several days of guarding, the police discovered that a middle-aged man would leave the old lady here at 8 or 9 o\’clock every morning and pick her up at 8 or 9 o\’clock in the evening. The police were worried that the old man was being controlled by an illegal organization, so they took the man back to the police station for questioning. According to the \”City 110\” picture book in Taiyuan, Shanxi Province, the man\’s surname is Li and he is 44 years old. The beggar is 83 years old and is the mother of the man surnamed Li. Li has never married or had a stable job. He mainly relies on his mother\’s begging money to live. He eats, drinks, plays cards and chess every day. When the police asked him why he didn\’t find a job to support himself, Li claimed that his mother didn\’t want him to find a job and prevented him from going out to find a job. When the police asked the old man, the old man actually said to the police: \”My son is not lazy, he is very good, and he sends me here to make money every day, so he is not lazy.\” This sentence \”He is not lazy, he is very good\” gave the police a sense of Ridiculous and helpless feeling. While netizens angrily scolded this unreliable older son, they could not help but feel sad for the mother. How could such a son be considered \”very good\”? The man who was supposed to be the breadwinner of the family confidently said, \”My mother doesn\’t let me work, she doesn\’t want me to go out.\” Turning a blind eye to his mother begging under the scorching sun, he just took the money his mother begged to eat, drink and have fun with peace of mind. The mother\’s blind obedience and doting made the son unwilling to make progress and cold-hearted, but the mother actually took it for granted. French educator Rousseau once said, \”Do you know how you can definitely make your child become an unfortunate person? This method is to be obedient to him.\” \”Love\” makes this mother have no bottom line and infinite obedience, making her As a matter of course, my son can ask for as much as he can. Love without a bottom line and without restraint is like poison, bit by bit killing the son\’s ability to be independent and also killing the son\’s enterprising and grateful heart. Recently, actor Zhu Yuchen has become really popular. The cause of his fire was not himself, but his mother. It was her mother\’s 360-degree love for him. I have been making pear soup for ten years, cooking for my son wherever I go, hoping to find a good wife and mother to take care of him and love my son with her whole life. Across the screen, we can all feel Zhu Yuchen\’s mother\’s strong love for her son, and at the same time, we can also feel Zhu Yuchen\’s helplessness and the pressure this love brings to him. We often say \”love is like sunshine and rain\”, but if it is exposed to the sun and continuous heavy rain, I am afraid that everyone will suffocate. I once read a story: When a biologist who specializes in butterfly research was studying the process of a butterfly breaking out of its pupa, he found that the difficulty was pitiable. His wife couldn\’t bear to see the difficulty of the butterfly emerging from the pupa, so she used a scalpel to lightly make a few marks on the pupa. When she saw the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis easily, she smiled happily. But soon they discovered that the \”helped\” butterfly had a particularly fat body, very small wings, and could not fly at all. She ruined this butterfly\’s life. Isn’t it the same with children’s growth?In this way, parents\’ overindulgence and endless obedience will only deprive their children of their ability to survive and make them weak and unwilling to make progress. Do you still remember the rich girl Liu Siqi in Metamorphosis? This girl once caught the public\’s attention. A 16-year-old girl needs to be clothed, fed, and has her toenails cut. Netizens once exclaimed, \”Is this a useless person?\” 16 years old should be the age to be proactive and self-reliant. Many children of this age have already left home to live independently and learn to take care of their families. Liu Siqi\’s behavior as if she were a three-year-old child shocked netizens. The root cause is that there is something wrong with family education. In the show: her aunt cut her toenails, her second aunt helped her feed her, and her mother rolled up her trousers. On the day when Liu Siqi was going to Guizhou to \”transform\”, the whole family was mobilized and four cars were dispatched, which made people laugh and cry. With such pampering, it\’s no wonder that the child can\’t learn anything, because she doesn\’t have to learn, because someone does everything for her. Japanese thinker Fukuzawa Yukichi said: \”Education is to teach people the way to be independent and self-respecting, and to develop ways to practice it.\” We do not deny the love parents have for their children, but we should teach them how to walk independently in this world. Just like the saying \”It\’s better to teach a man to fish than to teach him to fish.\” Leaving your children endless wealth is not as good as giving them the skills and abilities to survive. After all, none of us can accompany them for a lifetime. The world needs to be measured step by step by themselves. My colleague Ajuan\’s son Xiaojie is just eleven years old, but he is recognized as a sweet boy. Ajuan is sick and her husband is away on a business trip. Xiaojie got up early in the morning, washed up, and folded the quilt. I went to the kitchen to cook egg noodles for myself and my mother, then asked my mother to get up, and thoughtfully poured boiling water for my mother. We were all amazed at the child\’s precocity and understanding. Another friend, Alan, sighed: \”This child is the same age as my son, but he is really capable. My son doesn\’t need to help me, but he has to yell at me to give it to him when he drinks water.\” That\’s right.\” Ajuan said: \”I just teach him to be self-reliant on weekdays, so that if I\’m not at home one day, he won\’t go hungry. Besides, people always have to shoulder their own responsibilities, so it\’s always better to exercise early. \”You see, it\’s not that children can\’t do it, it\’s that we deprive them of the idea of ​​doing it. Most parents are always like this: if the child wants to pour boiling water, you say not to burn it, and I will do it. If the child wants to cook, it\’s my business to cut it, so go away. If your child wants to help you with housework, you say, go, go, read a book. One day, when the child grows up, you find that no matter how hard you work, the child turns a blind eye. No matter how much you do for him, the child takes it for granted. You are anxious and it is too late. Jenny Arim once said: \”It is not terrible that children have shortcomings. What is terrible is that parents, who are the guides of their children\’s lives, lack correct concepts and methods of parenting.\” Love without spoiling, spoil without pampering, we We should give recognition to children when they learn to explore the world, and encourage them to use their own hands to understand and create the world. Wind and rain are not terrible, but losing the ability and responsibility to deal with them is terrible. \”Parents love their children, and they will love them for a long time.\” The road of life is ups and downs, and parents cannot do it for their children one by one.Taste them all. We cannot restrain children in the name of \”love\” and make them lose their ability to face life and society. Instead, we must let them practice, learn, and let them fly bravely. So, what should we do? First of all, we parents must regulate our own behavior and maintain an orderly and tidy environment. Children who do everything by themselves will naturally follow suit. When children want to try hard, give them opportunities, affirmation and support, and do not perfunctory or attack. Secondly, parents should not take over everything and interfere too much, but should be patient enough and let their children try. You can give your children guidance, advice, and appropriate encouragement, but you must not be afraid of trouble and distress and do it for your children. Encourage children to do things from beginning to end, cultivate their sense of responsibility, and allow them to experience success and enjoy the joy of growth. If the eagle doesn\’t push the little eagle off the cliff, how can the little eagle learn to fly and soar freely under the blue sky? We hope that there will no longer be children who send their mothers to beg, and that there will no longer be children like Liu Siqi. We hope that every child can learn what he should do at the appropriate age. We hope that children can enjoy the warm sunshine and not be afraid of wind and rain. Forward. I hope every child can thrive, and I hope every child can shoulder his or her own responsibilities and thrive in the wind and rain.