This may be the most ineffective way of education

Recently, my daughter has been looking at electronic products a lot, so I think it is necessary to limit it. Last night, I made a request to her that from now on she can’t watch it during school hours from Monday to Friday, but can only watch it on two days on weekends. In order to promote the implementation of the plan, I also added: \”In the future, when you are not watching cartoons, mom will not look at the phone and play with you.\” After hearing such a promise, she agreed without much hesitation. I started playing, reading, and sleeping very early in the evening. I was very happy that it was finally my free time. Feeling that she had entered a sleep state, I secretly took out my phone, but unexpectedly came across the row of books on the bedside. The girl turned over, half-opened her eyes and closed them again, and then muttered: \”I fell asleep, and the sound of you turning the book woke me up again.\” I quickly said: \”I won\’t turn the book anymore. , you go to sleep quickly.\” She fell asleep again. Fortunately, there was no danger. She may have misunderstood me looking at my phone as reading a book. I thought the matter went over smoothly. She must not have seen me holding the phone at the time. As soon as she got up this morning, she asked me: \”Mom, you said yesterday that I can\’t watch cartoons. Why are you secretly playing with your mobile phone at night?\” Me: \”…\” It turns out that my daughter is hiding it quite deeply. It wasn\’t last night. I didn’t see it, it’s just that I was too sleepy and didn’t have the energy to argue with me, so I got up early in the morning to argue with me. I had to promise again and again that I wouldn\’t play with my phone when she wasn\’t watching cartoons, and she gave up. After sending her to kindergarten, I was thinking about this issue on the way to work. Can I fulfill my promise? If I couldn\’t hold it back and took out my phone again and she found out, how could the plan I agreed with her not to watch cartoons from Monday to Friday be carried out? How could she be convinced if I had to use coercion? It seems that only by keeping my promise can I stop slapping myself in the face. This kind of plan to restrict her access to electronic products has not been implemented before. In the end, it mostly failed because her father and I couldn\’t resist looking at our mobile phones. This time, we must stick to it no matter what. There is nothing without rules. If you want your children to obey the rules, adults must first keep the rules themselves. If you don\’t follow them, it will be too difficult for your children to do it. The best way is to ask the children to do it. The adults must do it first, and they must keep their promises to the children. \”The American Principal Sleeping on the Roof\” tells such a story. A primary school principal in New Jersey, USA, said to his students at the beginning of the new semester, if you read 10,000 extracurricular books in addition to completing the textbook tasks this semester, I will let you do it once as a reward. Being able to deal with the principal at will, the students are very motivated and have indeed completed the task of reading 10,000 extracurricular books. In the end, the students chose a reward method, which was to shave the principal\’s hair with the initials of the school name, and then let the principal live on the roof for a night. The principal happily complied. When someone asked him how he felt, he said: \”It was extremely cold this night, but the cold was worth it.\” It is said that Zeng Guofan is a role model for educating his children. Whatever he asked his children to do, he must do it first. arrive. In life, he requires his children to live a simple life, and he first lives a simple life. He requires his children to study diligently, and he must study hard every day. After official duties, he never stops reading, studying, and writing.Write home letters or correct poems for children. There is this passage in \”Zeng Guofan\’s Family Letters\”: \”Brothers are studying at home, how can they study hard every day? Since the first day of October, I have determined to make a new beginning. Although I am as lazy as before, I write my diary in regular script every day and read ten pages of history every day. He writes and talks over tea every day, and these three things never stop for a day.\” In order to set an example for his children and brothers, he also gave up the smoking habit that he had developed for many years. \”On October 21, I vowed to quit smoking shisha forever. I have stopped smoking for two months now, and it has become a natural habit.\” I am neither a celebrity nor a philosopher, so naturally I don\’t need to be so harsh on myself. However, within a family, I want to What kind of person you want your children to become must be what kind of person you need to be. If you teach your children to obey traffic rules and run red lights or overtake by yourself, your children will not become a person who abides by traffic rules; if you educate your children to be polite to others, but you often speak loudly and obscenely, your children will not become well-educated. People; if you educate your children to study hard and don’t strive to make progress every day, your children’s studies will probably not be much better;… Thinking about this, my back feels a little cold. It’s just a mobile phone. It’s no big deal. From today on I started fighting with it at night. Otherwise, no matter what rules I set for my children, it will be difficult to stick to them. Telling your children one thing and doing another yourself is probably the most ineffective way of educating them.