People who write are very sensitive, and so am I. But over the years, I have found more and more that I have very little internal friction. In fact, it has a close relationship with my mother’s words and deeds since childhood. My mother\’s life is not easy. She has encountered many difficulties in her life, but her way of thinking is that she is used to solving problems as the starting point, rather than discussing who is right and who is wrong. 02For example, there was a period of time that left a particularly deep impression on me. There were only three people at home, my parents and me, and my father was a hemiplegic patient. One time, my father\’s army gave him a very large bag of rice. My mother pushed her back on her bicycle. Ask me to move downstairs. When I saw that big bag of rice, I was dumbfounded. He just mumbled about how the two of us could move this. Otherwise, find someone to help. But it was working time at that time, so it was difficult to find someone, so my mother said, it’s okay, you go up and get the millet bags, and we can just open them and transport them a few times. Later, when I thought back, my mother was like this and encountered many difficulties in life. She has the attitude of, \”It doesn\’t matter, mom will figure it out.\” Later, many things were really solved by her. 03 Later I discovered that this actually had a huge impact on me. When encountering many things, I will habitually look first at what the problem is and how I can think of ways to solve it. Many times when the problem is solved, right or wrong is not that important to me. It\’s all little things. Many times it is not resolved. If one plan fails, another plan will be created. If it really doesn\’t work, then it wouldn\’t be a pity to give up. 04 In the past few days, I have seen people quarreling because \”Alien\” scared children and the movie theater was reported by parents. I suddenly found that the reason why I was less internally conflicted was mainly due to the influence of her way of thinking on me. That is, in most things, how to solve the problem is the starting point, rather than figuring out who is right and who is wrong. Therefore, throughout her life, she has basically been a person with little internal conflict. Take, for example, the quarrel over \”The Opposite Sex.\” I am against reporting, but I speak from the perspective of someone who loves movies and hopes that the Chinese film market will be better. The first thing that comes to my mind is that going to theaters to watch movies is still a consumer behavior. The movie market is currently in a slump, and every consumer is valuable. 05 Moreover, many parents are too busy at ordinary times and do not have the awareness to do homework before watching movies. Now that such a problem has arisen. The first is to continue to call for the film rating system, and the second is to improve services. For example, in addition to when purchasing tickets at the cinema, cinema staff should remind the audience to sign a waiver. When purchasing tickets on the platform, a pop-up window may appear for such a movie. If parents must take their children to watch it, they must click the button to agree to the exemption of the theater and the film studio. This is not technically difficult to achieve. 06 I stand with some parents who have taken their children to watch the movie and their children were frightened. In fact, there is a psychological disenchantment method that you can try. It is the opposite sex. It has been an old IP for more than 40 years. It has been So cute. There are also cute versions of small toys on Taobao. You can try replacing one image with another to tell your children that they are actually all acting. Alien babies love to scare people. They are all just for fun. They love to play pranks and scare people. Kids, noThey are all little cuties during performances. Or when the movie theater holds activities, some staff wearing \”alien\” costumes can take the children to interact with these uncles and aunts. Wash away the previous impression. 07After I said this, many people chased me and quarreled with me, trying to tell me something. I discovered that the underlying logic of everyone’s starting point is actually different. As soon as I saw this, I split it into two questions. Things are just that, just solve the problems that need to be solved. For example, from a parent\’s perspective, such as the parent who made the report, his child has been frightened. In fact, the first problem he needs to solve is how to deal with the child\’s fear. In the end, the parent was lucky enough to leave the child alone and go report the movie theater. Just ignore the problem at hand and don\’t think of solutions. Reporting it can calm the child\’s emotions. 08 As for cinemas, how can the film studio solve the problem, what can it do for parents, and what convenience can it provide. Some people argue with me, why should I pamper them? I said you are just opening a business and want to make money from others. The first problem you have to solve is your own survival, profit, and selling tickets. Our ancestors said it well, harmony brings wealth. All customers who are willing to pay for tickets to enter the cinema should be taken care of as much as possible. If there is anything that can be improved, just improve it. I always feel that this is nothing. 09 There is a boy who is particularly interesting. In my comments, he criticized parents who did not do enough homework very harshly. I just said, Hi! We are all ordinary people. There is no situation in your daily life where you have no idea about something, but someone clearly reminds you, but you miss it and don\’t take it to heart at all. He said yes, but at this time he would feel ashamed, blame himself, and apologize… I said why should I be so harsh on myself? It\’s just a mistake that ordinary people make. There is no need to humiliate yourself, blame yourself, or attack yourself. Isn\’t this just internal friction? 10 So what I learned from my mother is that when you encounter a problem, find the problem, break it down, analyze the problem, find a solution, and finally let it go. This is not to say that there is no inner conflict and pain in our lives. But using specific behaviors to deal with it can indeed solve a large part of the problem of internal friction. Never solving problems and always discussing right and wrong is actually the most prone to internal friction. above.
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- This principle my mother taught me has kept me from having any psychological internal conflicts.