This word determines the fate of a child\’s life, but many parents dare not teach it

Tomorrow is March 5th, the annual Lei Feng Day. Do you want to lead your children to do good deeds and teach them to be kind? Many friends around me are conflicted in their hearts: If they don’t teach, they will have a hard time with their own conscience; if they teach, they are worried that they will be bullied outside and be deceived. As the saying goes, “A good person will be bullied, and a good horse will be ridden by others.” China is so complicated now, and deceit and abduction are everywhere. Many friends are hesitant: Should we teach our children to be more opportunistic? Know more about shrewd calculations? More ruthless? I happened to watch \”Central Station\” recently. The short story behind this Brazilian movie is the best answer to this question. When director Walter was casting, he selected many students from art schools, but none of them were satisfactory. One day, Walter, who was at a loss for what to do, went to the western suburbs of the city for business and met a teenage shoe shine boy in the square in front of the train station. The little boy asked: \”Sir, do you need your shoes polished?\” Walter looked down at the recently polished leather shoes on his feet, shook his head and refused. Just as Walter turned around and walked more than a dozen steps, he suddenly saw the boy chasing after him with a red face, and a pleading light in his eyes: \”Sir, I haven\’t eaten for a whole day, can you lend me some money?\” ? I will work harder to shine your shoes from tomorrow, and I promise to return the money to you in a week!\” Walter looked at the little boy in ragged clothes and with a shriveled stomach in front of him. He couldn\’t help but feel pity, and took out a few coins and handed them to him. In the hands of the little boy. The little boy said \”thank you\” gratefully and trotted away. Walter shook his head, he was used to seeing such little street liars. Half a month later, Walter forgot all about borrowing money. Unexpectedly, when he passed the train station again, he suddenly saw a thin figure waving to him from a distance and shouted: \”Sir, please wait!\” When the other person ran over sweating profusely and handed over a few coins. When he saw him, Walter recognized that this was the little shoeshine boy who had borrowed money from him last time. The little boy panted and said, \”Sir, I have been waiting for you here for a long time, and I finally returned the money to you today!\” Walter looked at the coins in his hand that were wet with sweat, and a warm feeling suddenly surged in his heart. Walter looked at the little boy in front of him again, and suddenly found that he fit the role of the little boy protagonist in his mind. Walter put a few coins into the little boy\’s pocket: \”I give you this change sincerely, so you don\’t have to pay it back.\” Walter smiled mysteriously and said, \”Tomorrow you can go to the director\’s office of the film company in the city center to find it. I, I will give you a big surprise.\” Early the next morning, the doorman told Walter that a large group of children came outside. He went out to take a look in surprise, and saw the little boy running over excitedly, and said innocently: \”Sir, these children are homeless children without parents like me. They are also eager for surprises!\” Walter really didn\’t expect it! How could a poor and homeless child have such a kind heart! Through repeated observation and screening, Walter found that some of these children were indeed smarter than the little boys and more suitable to play the protagonists in the script, but in the end he only kept the little boy, and in the employment contract he was exempted from the test. oneThe following words were written in the column: Kindness does not need to be tested! Walter felt that when he was facing difficulties, he selflessly shared his own hopes with others. What kind of kindness it was! The young protagonist in the movie is exactly such a kind, broad-minded and selfless person. The little boy\’s name is Vinniski. Under Walter\’s direction, Weniski successfully played the role of the young protagonist, and \”Grand Central Station\” won many awards including the Oscar. A few years later, Wenniski, who had become the chairman of a film and television company, wrote an autobiography \”My Acting Career.\” On the title page of the book, there is an inscription written by Walter himself: There is no need to test kindness. The following is his evaluation of Wenniski: \”It is kindness that once allowed him to give opportunities to other children; it is also kindness that made him never miss the opportunities in life!\” Amazon founder Bezos said: \”Kindness is better than kindness. Being smart is more important!\” What determines a child\’s life destiny is not appearance, IQ, family background and other factors, but kindness. Virtue is never alone, it must have neighbors. The world is a mirror, and good people often receive care and help from all directions. Kindness is the most valuable passport for children on the long journey of life. It will help children go further and fly higher. I told this true story to a friend, but unexpectedly she said: \”Do you believe this kind of chicken soup? How naive!\” Then blabla gave me a bunch of examples of good people not being rewarded and evil people not being rewarded. I am speechless! What can I say? It’s not that I won’t report it, it’s just that the time has not come yet. I once heard New Oriental founder Yu Minhong talk about his growth experience: After attending Peking University, Yu Minhong developed a habit of cleaning the dormitory every day for four years. Therefore, their dormitory has never arranged a sanitation duty schedule. In addition, Yu Minhong carries the kettle in the dormitory to fetch water for his classmates every day, treating it as a kind of physical exercise. Everyone saw that he was used to fetching water. In the end, something happened. Sometimes he forgot to fetch water, and his classmates said, \”Why doesn\’t Yu Minhong go fetch water?\” But Yu Minhong didn\’t feel that fetching water was such a disadvantage. , he feels that everyone is a classmate and it is natural to help each other. Some people said he was stupid, and some asked him what was the benefit of fetching water like this. But he believes there will be benefits: \”If you do a good deed, the reward may appear this year, or it may appear 10 years later. If you do a good deed and ask for reward on the same day, then you must be a snobbery.\” Eye, he is also a narrow-minded person. If you don’t ask for anything in return, the reward will come. When you are in trouble, people around you think you are a good person, can they not reach out to help you?” Of course, Yu Minhong fetched water. I never thought they would come to help me when I was in trouble. But 10 years later, in 1995, New Oriental had reached a certain scale. He wanted to find collaborators, so he went to the United States and Canada to find those classmates. In order to lure them back, Yu Minhong specially exchanged a lot of US dollars and spent them generously every day, hoping to let his classmates know that they could make money in China. Later they came back, but gave Yu Minhong a very unexpected reason. They said: \”Yu Minhong, we came back because you have been clearing land and pumping water for us for four years.They said: \”We know that you have such a spirit, so you will definitely not give us porridge when you have food to eat.\” \”The joining of these people has laid the foundation for the development of New Oriental, and New Oriental will continue to grow bigger and become a listed company in the United States. A kind child has a vision of caring for others, and it is this vision that makes them outstanding. Harvard University Psychology Research by scientist Richard Weissbourd has found that kindness can create a mutually beneficial mental model of \”good for me, good for you\”. The cooperative ability of children with this mental model is a powerful and important way to adapt to future society. Strength. Those students who are kind and capable have a great advantage in American university admissions, and often hold important positions in large platforms after graduation. Mark Twain said: \”Kindness is a kind of thing that deaf people can hear and blind people can See the language. \”Kind people will never be forgotten and will always be favored by luck. This is the positive energy cycle of kindness. Those who think that kindness will not be rewarded and that kindness will be deceived are really short-sighted. It is regrettable that , many parents ignore the watering of the purity and brightness of their children\’s soul, and overly teach their children to \”learn to protect themselves, don\’t be fooled\”, teach their children to take advantage, teach their children how to think of ways to surpass others, and step on others, which invisibly teaches their children to be petty. . Will such a child be happy? During the Chinese New Year this year, student Xiao Su talked to me about family education and said: \”I envy other people\’s mothers. The education of their children since childhood is to believe in kindness and beauty.\” My mother was the opposite. \”Xiao Su\’s aunt is very kind to her, but as long as Xiao Su can remember, her mother has always said to her: \”Do you think your aunt is really kind to you? How much money do I spend on your sister-in-law every year? What she eats and wears, what she spends on you is all my money. I didn\’t pay so much, why would she treat you like this? \”My mother also hinted to Xiao Su: My sister-in-law is good to you because of the old houses owned by my grandfather. Even if my parents are gone, you must not let go of these houses and give them to your sister-in-law. As long as Xiao Su says which teacher in school treats her well, Very good, her mother said: Your teacher is nice to you because I was behind your back and gave you so many gifts. Or maybe the teacher asked your father for something and wanted to have a relationship with our family. Do you think he is that simple? ? In terms of getting along with classmates, if there are a few friends whose family conditions are average, her mother will hint: Don’t pay generously to take advantage of others when you get along with them. People who are not well-off will only play with you because they think you are stupid. With such subtle influence, Xiao Su is very good at observing words and emotions, and when encountering She can see things more clearly, and she can know the little thoughts of some people who really have ulterior motives in the blink of an eye. But this kind of education also makes Xiao Su feel that life is boring – be careful everywhere, take precautions in everything, and everyone is in danger. What happiness is there? What safety is there? What warmth is there? What is the meaning of this kind of existence? \”I envy those people who have faith and love and whose feelings are simple and sincere. \”Xiao Su said that if she has a child in the future, she will teach him all the positive things. At least she hopes that his childhood will be simple and bright without any scruples. It doesn\’t matter if he is simple or stupid. He will be happy and sunny. Parents should Try to create a good environment for your childrenAn atmosphere that allows them to trust others and the world, and the sense of happiness and security that children gain from kindness is the necessary energy for them to start in life. If a person always feels that his life is in crisis and learns to be calculating and arbitrarily early, even if his body is safe, his mind will feel very insecure and his life will be very tiring. Some people worry that if the cruelty of society is not restored to children, they will encounter obstacles in society in the future. In fact, living is a warm thing. The most important thing in children\’s education is to ignite the fire in children\’s hearts, teach them love, teach them the beauty of life, and teach them hope. Once they have a heartfelt love for life, no matter how cruel the society is, they cannot defeat them. Give your children a reason to love life. Many parents spend a lot of money to buy degree-level housing and enroll in talent classes for the sake of their children\’s future. But from a lifetime perspective, there is no essential difference whether a child\’s score is good or bad, whether he goes to Peking University or an ordinary university. What can really widen the gap between children throughout their lives are character issues related to their behavior in the world. The best investment is to teach children to do good. The more you invest, the greater the return. \”Shuowen Jiezi\” mentions that the \”education\” of education is \”teaching children to do good\”, and the core is the word \”good\”. Educating children to do good is the top priority of education. I have read this story: When an old man asked someone to do a feng shui check on his house, he suddenly refused to let the feng shui master go to the hillside behind his house. The old man said that the hillside was his family\’s orchard. He just saw birds flying over there, so there must be children stealing the fruit. If we walk over at this time and the child is nervous, it will be bad if he falls from the tree and gets injured. Mr. Feng Shui bowed and said goodbye: Sir, a kind-hearted person like you doesn’t need to look at Feng Shui. Wherever you are, there will be good Feng Shui! An old saying goes: If a person does good deeds, even though the blessings have not yet come, the misfortune has been far away; if a man has done evil, although the misfortune has not yet come, the misfortune has been far away. A kind child will have more understanding and love for others, will not be paranoid about his own reasons and interests when encountering problems, get along with the society gently, and have friendly dialogues with the world. This kind of thinking mode will not only make the child feel happy now, but also ensure that he will not suffer big losses throughout his life. So kindness is the greatest protection for a person. How to teach children to be kind? Young children usually cannot understand the deep meaning behind kindness. Therefore, teaching children to be kind is more effective than words. Parents are the most powerful role models for their children. They can take their children through practical actions to experience the joy of helping others in the process of sharing and giving. He always leaves food for the mouse, but he doesn\’t light the lamp in pity for the moth. Doing good does not necessarily involve money. It can be a kind smile, a patient listening, a big hug, a burst of encouraging applause, a warm message… Doing good can be very simple, very interesting, very warm, and very… creative. Anyone, anytime, anywhere can do it.